My spirits lifted as I imagined a bright future ahead of me. I glanced back at Mikhail and smiled. “I’m sorry for everything that’s happened until now,” I told him. “I wish you happiness.”
After sincerely bidding him farewell, I left.
Whenever I used to meet up with him, I wore pretty, yet uncomfortable, shoes so I could look my best. The ones I wore today were plain and low-heeled. Pleasant. Was my comfort what enabled me to walk away without regrets?
✤ ✤ ✤
Mikhail scoffed as he stared at Jubelian’s retreating figure.
She said she was sorry for everything? Bullshit. It must’ve been a ploy to get his attention.
He was certain that she would turn around and come rushing back to him at any second. Contrary to his expectations, however, she continued to walk away without sparing him another glance. When she vacated the waiting room entirely, he clenched his fists.
Was she really being serious?
Jubelian Eloy Floyen. Despite being ill of mind, she was undoubtedly beautiful. He had endured her behavior, which she had justified in the name of love, for the past two years. She followed him wherever he went, treated anyone he spoke to with hostility, and became overjoyed at the slightest bit of attention he would spare her. Like a dog. A stupid dog who wagged her tail even when he pushed her away, lavishing him with affection the likes of which he, her master, would never afford her.
It was incredibly annoying, but he tolerated her because of the attention he received from her father and his idol, Duke Floyen. Her presence seemed to drive away other potentially annoying women, too.
So, why did she suddenly change her mind? Plagued with uncertainty, Mikhail stiffened. Unexpectedly, now that she was completely out of sight, he felt strange instead of victorious. It should be reassuring that he wouldn’t have to deal with such a troublesome woman anymore, so he tried to shake away his conflicting thoughts, but…
“Damn it,” he cursed. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her words continued to play out in his mind.
She said she was sorry. She said she wished him happiness. She had smiled.
He couldn’t forget that smile, because she had even looked a little relieved.
✤ ✤ ✤
Ah, it felt like a knot in the pit of my stomach had unraveled. I had just come home from parting with Mikhail. On my way to my room for a bit of rest, I accidentally ran into a handsome man by the front door.
Father.
I had inherited his silver hair and blue eyes, but not his striking appearance. He was, in essence, a transcendent being who aged slowly. In fact, it even looked like we could be siblings.
There might come a day when I’ll even look older than him.
“Father, how was your day?” I greeted. I spoke with an upbeat tone, the complete opposite of how I felt inside.
He stared at me, unchangingly aloof. Although we were family, it had been many years since I had greeted him like this. “Do not come here again,” he had told me once. After being turned away, I only talked to him about important business. However, now I had a reason to feign friendliness.
I just wanted to live happily.
After remembering my previous life, I had come to learn of an important fact: no matter how much I begged for his love, Father would eventually abandon me. In addition to how lacking I was in many ways, I was nothing more to him than a shameful thing he never mentioned to others. Since I was never going to have his love, I decided to give up and find happiness elsewhere.
Yes, precisely: happiness in money!
Of course, I still had a conscience, so I didn’t intend to be greedy. A small estate on the outskirts of the city, some money from Father, and a job handling one of his countless responsibilities would be enough for me. In fact, I’d still be living a luxurious life with those things alone.
I had no intention of begging for Father's love anymore, but as long as I needed his money, it was important to maintain a proper relationship with him. If I stayed on the original novel’s path and alienate myself from him, I might not end up with a single penny.
I gave him the same fake smile I learned from working in retail. “You must be tired from supervising training operations all day,” I said.
Once again, he didn’t answer. I mean, my god! Would it kill him to speak to me? His behavior tanked my mood like it would for any other rational human being, but I was used to such treatment from him by now.
“You should go and relax,” I suggested hurriedly. I wanted to finish this one-sided conversation. “I’ll go up, too.”
Immediately, I started climbing the stairs to the second floor. That was when I finally heard him speak.
“There had been no training today,” he said.
His voice was unfamiliar to me. I doubted my ears. Huh? Did he really respond? It had been a long time since I last heard him speak. I was taken aback for a second before coming to my senses. When I realized what he had just said, I grit my teeth.
Mikhail, that bastard! He said he had to hurry back because he had some training to do. He lied to me! Upon realizing this, I became even more irritated. I wanted to curse at him for how he treated me, but I quickly schooled my emotions.
“Calm down, Jubelian,” I silently told myself. “He’s no longer in your life. Let’s be cool about this.”
Although this was my second life, my experiences in retail from my first life had taught me that I shouldn’t get worked up so quickly. I recalled a time I had to deal with an annoying customer and controlled the expression my face.
“You came early today,” Father continued.
Ah, about that… Now that I think about it, in the past, I used to come home late because I busied myself with following Mikhail around. However, since I had broken up with him today, coming straight home afterwards, I returned much earlier than usual.
Should I tell him the truth?
Similar to the original story, Father seemed to hold Mikhail in high regard. He often made things convenient for him and treated him with relative kindness. Since I was useless as his only child, he might’ve been thinking about making Mikhail his successor.
I couldn’t help but laugh. If I was anything like the Jubelian of the past, I wouldn’t have considered telling Father anything. I would’ve been too afraid that he would hate me for making such a mistake. I had come to learn something, though: it didn’t matter. Earning his love was a futile endeavor, and he already hated me anyway.
I looked into his cool blue eyes, which were similar to mine. “I parted ways with him,” I spit out.
Although I hadn’t mentioned Mikhail’s name, Father probably knew who I was referring to. The newfound creases on his face proved this, expressing his consternation.
“Why?”
The short question was laden with discontent, but I understood the reason for it. If Mikhail became his son-in-law, he wouldn’t have to worry about fretting over succession rights, but now that we had broken up, those plans were ruined. Even so, a relationship is composed of two people, and I had to take care of myself.
“I didn’t want to spend my life with someone who didn't have feelings for me,” I explained.
As soon as I finished speaking, his face crumpled with horror. He was probably astonished that I had broken up with a man of such talent just because of my pride. The way his eyes narrowed seemed to be in reproach of me. Although my heart constricted at the sight of it, it didn’t ache. I wasn't a child to be hurt by him anymore.
“I simply want to get married to someone who will love me, Father. I want to be happy.”
Truthfully, I was planning on staying single for the rest of my life, but I figured it’d be better to hide my intentions. If I offended him even more, he might slip me a dagger like he did back in the novel. I didn’t realize this before, but I knew now: continuous neglect was better than cruel abandonment.
“I’ll live quietly without bothering you,” I promised him silently, “so please leave me alone like you always did.”
Such a thought would’ve driven me to tears in the past, but now I didn’t feel the slightest bit of sorrow. It was as if all of my emotions had dried up in the wake of my newfound knowledge. I watched Father for a response, but he turned away wordlessly.
Did that mean that he didn’t want to talk to this pathetic daughter of his anymore?
He had ignored me plenty of times before, so I wasn’t offended. I stared at his retreating back, breathing a sigh in relief.
Now, to my room for some rest. A lot of things had happened today and I was really tired.
✤ ✤ ✤
Jubelian’s maid, Merilyn, gulped nervously. The reins that used to keep Lady Floyen occupied were now gone.
Merilyn had been able to breathe easily these past few days because Jubelian had been in a good mood, but now that she had broken up with Mikhail, things were definitely going to be different. The news was both sudden and unexpected.
“I’m in trouble now,” Merilyn lamented to herself.