“Of course,” said Gu Fei, leaning against their cart. “If I was here alone, I would’ve dropped everything and left. But with you beside me, it doesn’t feel like a big deal… I’m just worried it’s eating into your studying time.”
“Nah.” Jiang Cheng waggled his eyebrows and pulled a stack of thickly folded paper from his back pocket. “I can study anywhere.”
“Damn,” Gu Fei exclaimed, astonished to see Jiang Cheng holding a set of English questions in his hand.
“I didn’t wanna be so unbelievably cool.” Jiang Cheng dug a pencil out of his other pocket. “The thing is, we only have a few days off. Even if I split the worksheets evenly across the whole holiday, I’d have to do two sets a day at least.”
Gu Fei couldn’t stop laughing at him. He lifted a case of yogurt drinks from the cart, set it atop the child seat, and said, “Here, you can use this as a table.”
“Okay.” Jiang Cheng bent down and tried it. “Maybe a little higher.”
Gu Fei stacked a case of orange juice on top. “Like this?”
“That’s good.” Jiang Cheng laid his pages down and started to write.
It was a strange feeling. Gu Fei kept one hand on the shopping cart and stared at Jiang Cheng’s profile, marveling at how the guy took less than a minute to enter his flow state. He probably couldn’t hear or see the noisy crowd around him anymore; there was only his pencil and his ugly…his not-so-ugly-anymore handwriting.
The line in front of them shifted forward by a foot or so, but Gu Fei didn’t move. The distance was negligible. Besides, his boyfriend was busy scribbling what looked like deconstructed hieroglyphs—he couldn’t move now.
A woman behind them grew impatient, ramming her shopping cart directly against Jiang Cheng’s butt. “Move it! Keep up!” But Jiang Cheng didn’t stop writing—it was as if he hadn’t felt a thing.
Gu Fei glanced at the auntie and went to stand in front of their own cart, taking up the empty twenty inches of space, then looked at her again. “Move where?”
The auntie glared at him, then turned her head away and started to curse quietly under her breath.
After a moment, Jiang Cheng stopped writing and nudged the cart forward. “Let’s move up.”
“I thought you weren’t paying attention.” Gu Fei moved out of the way and pushed the cart forward one tiny step.
“I heard it, but at times like these, my brain is a one-way street. I can’t process other information. I don’t exist in this world when I’m concentrating,” Jiang Cheng said quietly as he read the next question. “As soon as you opened your mouth, though, I existed again. Your voice brought me back.”
Gu Fei chuckled. “Sounds like magic.”
“‘Cheng-ge Shows You the World,’ Episode One: The Magical Overachiever.” Jiang Cheng twirled his pencil. “Subheading… ‘Answering Questions, or Just in a Trance’?”
By the time Jiang Cheng had finished one side of his worksheet, the people at the front of their line—who had pretty much come here to bring the whole supermarket home—finally paid and left. The two of them moved up to the edge of the checkout counter. Casually, Gu Fei picked up a little box from the shelf by the cashier and tossed it into their cart.
Jiang Cheng glanced at the little box as he folded his papers up again. Ultra Thin. Naked Sensations. Those four words made him suddenly lower his voice. “You’re getting that?”
“What?” Gu Fei looked at him and lowered his voice too. “We’re out.”
“…Can’t you buy them from the pharmacy?” Jiang Cheng asked, looking at him.
“It was right there. And we have a gift card.”
“With all these people watching? Do you not feel even a teensy bit embarrassed, sir?” Jiang Cheng flicked the box with one finger so it disappeared into a crack between the other items in the cart.
“Nope.” Gu Fei laughed. “Don’t use them if you’re so embarrassed.”
“Sooner or later you’re gonna corrupt me,” Jiang Cheng sighed. “Sooner or later.”
At the end of their New Year’s shopping experience, the two of them shipped everything back to the convenience store and quickly stuffed themselves with some food before Gu Fei took Jiang Cheng back to his apartment.
“I have to tidy up around the house today. Cleaning and stuff,” Gu Fei explained. “Then I have to come here tonight and tidy your place.”
“My place is pretty tidy already—I don’t even have anything.” Jiang Cheng looked around.
“Some light dusting, then. Don’t worry about it.” Gu Fei gave him a kiss. “Go study.”
“Dinner tonight’s gotta have some meat, okay? You can’t skimp out on meat just because there’s a feast tomorrow. Vegetables and meat,” Jiang Cheng urged him. “No need to make it fancy. Just some pork belly slices stir-fried with cabbage will be fine.”
“Got it.” Gu Fei was cracking up. “Sheesh, will your appetite ever be sated?”
After Gu Fei left, Jiang Cheng sat down at his desk and leaned back in his chair, lifting his arms to stretch as he listened to the northerly wind whistling outside. It was just past noon, but the sky had darkened. It looked like another snowstorm was coming.
In the midst of desolate days like these, when the weather outside was more than frightful, it gave him a feeling of ease to be inside and warm.
Will my appetite ever be sated?
Maybe it was because of this peculiar feeling. Even if it was bone-chillingly cold outside, there was someone who would satisfy all of his little whims. He could be a little bossy and unreasonable. He didn’t have to keep all his problems to himself. I want to eat this and that. I want this, and I want to do that, too.
Gone were the days when he simply resigned himself to silence, knowing anything he said would be shut down.
“Ahhh…” Jiang Cheng stretched again in comfortable satisfaction.
It was perfect.
✦ ✦ ✦
Gu Fei surprised Jiang Cheng in a lot of different ways, but there were no surprises when it came to tidying. He was a slacker student after all, and he had no method to speak of when tidying up.
Unlike Jiang Cheng, who had been required to keep his room clean and orderly ever since he was a little kid, Gu Fei tended to just gather everything up in one pile and stick it somewhere where it couldn’t be seen, like the drawer or closet, and be done with it.
If there was anything to be tidied here at Jiang Cheng’s place, it would be the books and study materials piled up everywhere. After he’d gathered them all up in one stack, Gu Fei seemed a little lost. “What now? There’s nowhere to hide these things.”
Jiang Cheng sighed. “I’m still using them. What are you hiding them for?”
“Never mind, then.” Gu Fei flopped down on the bed. “Huh. There’s really nothing to clean up at your place. You’ve lived here for so long, and it’s not messy at all.”
“I usually just tidy as I go and put things back in their places when I’m done with them,” Jiang Cheng said. “I don’t like tidying, which is why I try not to make a mess in the first place—I don’t have to spend time cleaning up then.”
Gu Fei smiled. “I’m always too lazy to put things back.”
“Ah, but then you have to clean up. It takes one second to put it back, but when you accumulate the mess, it’ll take hours to tidy up. Which one is more efficient?” Jiang Cheng side-eyed him. “No wonder you’re a super slackity-slacker…”
“I don’t have the time, and when I do, I don’t even feel like moving,” Gu Fei sighed.
Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything else. That was true. Gu Fei carried a lot on his mind, and it dragged on him every day. He couldn’t be bothered with maintaining these small details.
When will he not have to be so tired anymore?
Jiang Cheng stared at the pages in front of him. Ah, soon he would be taking the exams.
Ah, soon he would be leaving this place.
Ah, soon they would be separated.
And, ah, the “future” that neither of them could find an answer for would be upon them.