“I love you,” Leorino whispered. “So please let me carry half of your burdens.”
Saying this, Leorino pressed his lips to Gravis’s forehead.
At that moment, the wall holding back all the anguish of Gravis’s long life finally burst.
“…What was it all for?” Gravis fell to his knees where he stood.
“Vi? …Ah.”
Leorino was pulled down to the ground with him. Gravis covered his eyes with one hand.
“Don’t bite your lip… You’re bleeding.”
When Leorino noticed that Gravis’s back was shaking slightly, he gently held Gravis’s head.
“…I hurt you, I hurt so many people so much…for what…?”
All because of this blood that runs in my veins?
In the end, there was nothing Gravis could do.
The despair had already been there, even before Gravis was born. No matter which path he chose, nothing he ever did could bring happiness to his mother and brother’s lives.
If only he had known that there was nothing to be found but despair in the past and in the future.
He thought of the anguish of his boyhood, when he had struggled to find hope. At the same time, he thought of his mother’s life, filled with humiliation and pain, and of his brother King Joachim, whose life had been warped by mad love.
His brother only ever had Emilia—he had never taken any concubines. There were likely physical factors involved, but more than that, he must have truly loved Emilia.
The son whose father had raped not only him but even the woman he loved. The agony of his brother who continued to love a woman with whom he had never had a physical relationship.
Here was yet another twisted sort of attachment.
Most of all, he pitied Emilia. And Kyle.
“…Kyle.”
Did Kyle really know nothing?
Kyle stubbornly refused to get married. At the same time, he had said the same thing so many times.
“I know who the right to the throne of this country belongs to.”
What did Kyle mean by the words he kept repeating?
Gravis could not stop his mind from sinking back into the swamp of despair at the possibilities that flashed through his mind.
Such filthy blood.
Even the Marquis of Lagarea had been a victim of the cursed blood of the Fanoren royal family.
Bodies and souls had been taken. The men of the Fanoren royal family in this infinite cycle. And the women who became its victims.
Gravis knew that this violent impulse lurked within him as well. A maniacal obsession that sought only one person, with no regard for status or position.
That was what had driven Ionia to his death and dragged Leorino, who could have been happy with Julian, through the depths of hell.
He couldn’t stand it. It was too much to bear.
“Vi…”
The man’s hold on Leorino was strong and a little painful for his freshly recovered body.
But Leorino endured the pain in silence.
Something had happened at the palace. Something so painful that this strong man could hardly stand it. Leorino did not ask questions, only kept Gravis in his embrace.
“Ionia was killed because of me, and Leorino…you very nearly died as well…”
“It’s not your fault. Absolutely not… None of it was your fault.”
Leorino’s shoulder was wet.
Gravis was crying.
“Vi…”
“What has my life been for? Why did my mother have to suffer so much? Why did my brother… I should have let Ionia…and Lucas… I should have set them free…!”
A man who had carried so many responsibilities since he was a child, who had fought for his country and those he loved, cried that he was helpless.
Leorino fought desperately to hold back his tears.
“You’ve never done anything wrong. Why did you have to get hurt…?”
“I’m safe. I’m with you now… I’m all right now.”
Leorino gripped Gravis’s back.
“Vi… Gravis. I choose to be by your side. Please don’t deny me this feeling.”
Gravis lifted his face. His cheeks were wet.
“Leorino…”
“You and I…are the reason for our existence… Believe me. Please believe me.”
“The royal family, this blood of filth, is not worth defending. Why would you risk your lives for me…? For something so worthless?”
Leorino continued to gaze into the eyes of a man in despair, fighting back tears.
“I can’t speak to its worth. I just want you to be here with me… You’re my other half. You’re the one who told me as much.”
Leorino brushed his lips over the tears running down Gravis’s cheek.
The man’s thirty-eight years of anguish continued to trickle down his face. Even as Leorino wiped them away, they stained the man’s cheeks without stopping.
“I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t save anyone I cared about… I’ve lived this long, and I’ve saved no one.”
Gravis slammed his fist into the floor and, finally, brought it to his forehead. Over and over.
“Vi…”
“I wanted to make them happy… My mother, my brother…and Ionia.”
Leorino gritted his teeth.
“They knew how you felt. They knew and…still, there must have been some things they couldn’t compromise on. Ionia also refused to give up on certain matters. But…”
Leorino spoke to the lonely boy who had once upon a time called himself a “spark of mayhem.”
“But because you never gave up and found me… I was able to deliver Ionia’s final thoughts.”
Leorino continued to speak to the back of the boy who had been groping his way alone through a perilous balancing game, wanting to make both his half brother and mother happy.
“…Queen Dowager Adele and His Majesty, these people are still alive. You still have time…to find a way to make them happy.”