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Just as Sanae Murata had judged, Kyouhei Nanbu was indeed exhausted. He’d not slept a wink last night.
The reason was simple: Since last night, he had a (self-proclaimed) “body double android” staying in his home.
The girl, who called herself Pamil, had been inside one of the multitude of boxes, both wooden and cardboard, and cases that filled his (ware)house. The containers were from his father’s work. More precisely, she had been released from a particularly questionable-looking case that reminded him of a coffin.
...And she was completely nude.
All of this alone would have been weird enough, but she also claimed with deadly seriousness that she was “an elaborate android made as a body double for another country’s princess.”
No matter what, you couldn’t deny the strangeness. Regardless of how he looked at her, Kyouhei couldn’t see anything but a human. Furthermore, he’d not heard anything about someone making an android that could pass for a human.
She’s crazy? She’s crazy, right?!
That thought was the easiest to accept.
Even so, a girl like that was more than someone like Kyouhei—who had dedicated his life to the concepts of peace, normalcy, and being part of the lower middle class—could deal with. On top of her being a somewhat spacey girl of unknown provenance, the very idea of common sense was at least partially absent in her, and so...
She’d said something like: “Hmm... There is still much about this situation I do not understand. I shall survey the area.”
Then she’d gone to leave his house.
Still nude.
Well, being in the middle of the warehouse district, there weren’t exactly many pedestrians during the night, but it’s not like the area was deserted either. It might have been a slim chance, but he couldn’t imagine the kind of rumors that a naked girl just wandering out of his house would cause. Or rather, he could somewhat imagine them, which just made his head ache all the more.
That’s why...
“W-Wait a minute!”
He had no choice but to stop her in a panic, even if he really wanted her to leave as soon as possible.
“What?” she asked, cocking her head.
The action itself was purely innocent, like a bird tilting its head, but her state of undress lent it an immense sense of perversion. Her appearance was far from average in Japan as well.
She had finely chiseled features with a high nose, vivid blonde hair, and pale skin. Her Scandinavian appearance, or actually somewhat otherworldly appearance, was the very picture of grace and refinement, even while clearly young.
Of course, she wasn’t exactly voluptuous, but she had curves in all the right places, and her smooth skin made her look almost like a doll.
And so...
In 710 the capital was Heijou-kyou! In 712 the Kojiki was published! In 723 the Sanze-isshin Law was promulgated!
To avoid all of his blood concentrating in regions where it wasn’t needed, Kyouhei began mentally reciting 600 years of Japanese history before grabbing her small, pale shoulders.
“...Put some clothes on, please .”
“Hm?” Pamil questioned. “Right, clothes. I see. I had forgotten.”
“Well don’t!”
“Right. A princess would wear clothes!”
“Everyone would wear clothes!”
He felt like he was doing nothing but digging holes and filling them back in.
Am I going to have to teach this muppet everything like this?! Hurry your arse back home, Dad! he cursed internally.
Kyouhei didn’t know how she’d come to be here, but should Shuuhei—his father and the one to bring in that coffin, a self-proclaimed International Trader (or a general merchant by another name)—come back home, then he would be able to ask him about the details.
Until then, however, he would have to look after the girl. She was not only deluded about being a “body double android,” but was also going to leave the house naked; who knew what chaos leaving her to her own devices would bring.
For someone like Kyouhei, who prayed for a peaceful life, the girl was akin to a bomb threatening to blow everything away. Moreover, she was a bomb with a broken safety, who—even if not maliciously—was ready and willing to explode.
“Why me...?”
He’d just gotten home and hadn’t even changed out of his uniform; of course he wasn’t expecting to have such a wild time of it.
“Let’s just get some clothes,” he muttered to himself.
He picked through the tower of wooden and cardboard boxes and found a partially buried chest of drawers. He began to search through it, making sure that opening each drawer wouldn’t cause another avalanche. It felt like he was the Thief in a dungeon and checking a chest for traps, but doing that in real life was more of a hassle than an amusement.
“Now then,” he said, lining up the spoils.
Then he just looked at them aghast.
None of these would work.
There was a maid uniform, a nurse uniform, bloomers, a waitress’ uniform, a shrine maiden’s costume, a school swimsuit, bondage gear, and even an Alice band with cat ears, which came with paw-styled gloves and shorts with a tail. He wanted to grab his dad by the scruff of the neck and ask what kind of cosplay café he thought they were.
“Why aren’t there even any men’s clothes here?! Only men live here!” he yelled.
Well, he wouldn’t exactly doubt that these might be some product, or even Shuuhei’s hobby.
Just please tell me he doesn’t wear them himself, seriously.
While Kyouhei was occupied with his thoughts, the girl had come over.
“Hmm? There certainly is plenty. Which is most princess-like?”
There certainly was a lace dress like a princess might wear, but it wasn’t much different from being nude in terms of how unusual it was. If a girl—a blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty at that—wearing a dress that the majority of people wouldn’t see outside of a wedding were to go walking about town, then she’d most certainly stand out.
“Isn’t there anything, anything , better?”
He just wanted something a normal girl would wear. It didn’t need to be the latest fashion, just something normal, that wouldn’t pointlessly stand out. Was there nothing like that?
In the end, he found something mostly legitimate: a yukata, like one of those girls would wear to go to a summer festival. It had a red goldfish pattern on a white background; it was cute and colorful, but strangely gaudy.
He wanted to know exactly what his father was thinking. The next time they met, he wasn’t entirely sure if he’d be able to resist the urge to crack his skull open to check if there actually was anything in there. Thus, while Kyouhei was hesitant to give her a yukata during the winter, the other outfits were even less suitable, so he had no choice but to compromise.
“Here, wear this.”
“Hm?”
She looked at the yukata that had been handed to her and began putting it on.
She was either surprisingly clever or dexterous, because despite the apparent difficulties as she began putting it on, after a few minutes, she was standing in front of Kyouhei wearing the yukata.
The sash was tied a tad strangely, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. The clothing was also slightly bigger than he’d first thought, with the collar and chest both being rather loose on her. Frankly, it looked like you’d be able to easily take a peek at Pamil’s creamy skin.
“Is this sufficient?” she asked, cocking her head once more.
Bearing her neck like that now meant that her chest was almost completely visible, so he hurriedly looked away.