Well, with the fantasy (?) of her being a body double android in full flow, her behavior was just fundamentally exaggerated.
“You can have a lie-in too,” he continued, turning to Sanae and making her face instantly go red as she squirmed in embarrassment.
“No, I... um... always buy something from the shop. I sometimes think I’d like a homemade lunch... but Mom works as well, so...”
“Hmm?” Pamil questioned Sanae, “You want a lunchbox too?”
“Well... eating nothing but sandwiches gets boring... but I have low blood pressure in the mornings... so cooking is dangerous, because I’m always dazed and can’t do it myself...”
The words ‘cooking’ and ‘danger,’ combined with Sanae’s earlier words about a ‘cooking practical,’ set alarm bells ringing in Kyouhei’s mind.
“Pamil,” he called to her.
“Hmm?”
“Have you... cooked before... ever?” As far as Kyouhei had seen at least, she’d not stood in the kitchen. So, wouldn’t that mean that she’d never used a stove or knife...? “A cooking practical’s—”
“It’s fine,” Pamil insisted with a confident nod, “I’m always watching what you’re doing.” She sounded like a kid that thought they’d get strong just by reading a martial arts manga.
“That makes me cringe. Actually, no; it scares me.”
In other words, as far as cooking went, Pamil had seen it, but never done it. While yes, people with a good amount of insight could do well even on their first attempts, Kyouhei knew from experience that expecting that situational adaptability from Pamil was akin to looking for miso ramen on a Western restaurant’s menu.
During a cooking practical, students would obviously use knives and heat, so it was more dangerous than other classes...
Pamil didn’t even have a conception of her abnormality, so she would sometimes use her Royal Fire to heat up a pot or kettle. She’d use a flash of lightning or optical beam just as easily as switching on a stove. If she did that during the practical, then the things he had kept hidden to enjoy his peaceful life could all come to light: his father’s super-legal (so to speak) acts to bring goods in from the Bergmann Kingdom, the similar methods used to get Pamil her registration, and the various dangerous items stacked in the warehouse. That would result in both father and son at the tender mercies of the police.
An unpleasant thought, a very unpleasant thought.
I... I need to teach her how to cook normally, then... he thought to himself.
“Kyouhei?” Pamil asked, watching his face grow horrified.
“Right, Pamil, we’ll do a dry-run, or just get you to cook at least something at home first.”
“Hmm? You’ll do that?”
He’d thought that, considering her self-proclaimed role as an android body double, she wouldn’t be at all interested in cooking, but she was surprisingly excited over it, and her eyes were sparkling.
“Yeah, there’s no harm in you learning how to use our kitchen as well.”
“Right!”
“It’s decided, then. In that case, I’ll drop in to the supermarket for ingredients. You go home and change. You’ve got a sweater now.”
After all, if you screwed up cooking, then you’d waste the ingredients, and you’d probably get your clothes dirty. Pamil utterly lacked common sense, so that was all the more likely.
“Got it,” Pamil smiled with a nod.
He wasn’t too happy with sending her off alone... but the rest of the journey was through the sparsely populated warehouse district. Pamil was more or less used to living around there, so he thought it’d be fine.
Right, let’s get while the getting’s good.
Kyouhei strode swiftly towards the supermarket, but then turned to just make sure of things: “Right, straight home; no stopping, okay?”
“I know.”
“See you tomorrow then, Murata-san!” Kyouhei called over his shoulder, waving his hand. Something or other had caught in his disposition... Pamil gave Sanae a short farewell as well before also leaving. Sanae was then left standing alone.
However...
“...I don’t normally cook either... I need to practice so I... don’t get in everyone’s way tomorrow... Then... I’ll make a lot and give it to S-S-Senpai...!”
She’d made her own decision. She clenched her fist, and then trotted off home.
● ● ●
We now return to the present, approximately five minutes after Pamil’s entry in her gratifying and embarrassing naked apron.
Kyouhei let out a sigh of irritation as he arranged the ingredients on the dining table. “Where the hell’d she even learn that...?!”
“From me,” came a voice from behind him. That prompted a reflexive backstep from Kyouhei as his fist whirled around, still gripping the spring onion, in an excessively violent backfist. “Obviously, I woul—Whoa?!”
A metallic clang sounded at the same time as the panicked shout. Kyouhei turned angrily as he pulled his hand away from the pain.
“So it was you?!” Kyouhei demanded.
“Really...” said the quarterback standing imposingly in front of Kyouhei with his hands on his hips.
Quarterback: a position that plays a central role in offense in American football. Takes the snap from the center. (Hatena Diary, 2007).
“I was just standing behind you, and you didn’t even look, just attacked. You tryin’ to be some bushy-browed killer?”
Kyouhei was glaring silently at him with half-closed eyes.
The quarterback was wearing the typical helmet. Incidentally, it had a slight dent from Kyouhei’s backhand. And, for some reason or another, the quarterback was also holding a tube of mayonnaise in his right hand.
The outfit was completely different from the last time Kyouhei had seen him, but... there was no mistaking him. Actually, there was only one person daft enough to be walking around dressed up like a football player outside of a stadium: Shuuhei Nanbu, Kyouhei’s father. Well, he was always traveling the world as an “International Trader,” so even his son rarely saw him; he was more like a real-life hidden character, or something like a skyfish or tsuchinoko.
“I should have known,” Kyouhei grumbled. There were many things he wanted to comment on, but who knew how many hours that would take, so he just prodded him with the vegetable as he continued: “Why are you filling Pamil’s head with useless stuff?!”