Queen’s depressive spell continued unabated as he sat in a chair in the lounge, staring off into space. Fie occupied his thoughts completely, in particular the memory of the time she wore women’s clothing for him in his room. He had been begging her to see this ever since the occasion in which she made him cross-dress, and finally his wish had come true.
“Give me just a sec,” she had said. Queen sat on the bed, staring intently at the wall. There was a rustle of clothing behind him.
Fie was changing. Into women’s clothing.
It was on a day off, when hardly anyone was left in the dorm; everyone else had gone off on outings or was out helping the older knights. It was the best time for Fie to cross-dress...wait. It was the best time for Fie to dress like the girl she was, rather.
However, the issue was this: where would she change her clothes? Fie didn’t want anyone to see her looking like a girl for as long as she lived in her boy disguise, which meant that going anywhere else to change, even somewhere close by, was out of the question. Fie couldn’t change by herself while Queen stood outside either, as that could cause trouble. This meant that, if Queen wanted to see Fie as a girl, he would have to stay in the same room as her while she changed. After fretting over this for several days, he resolved to go through with it and was made to sit stiffly on the bed and stare at the wall like his life depended on it.
His sensitive ears picked up on the sounds of his crush changing. Queen was a teenage boy, and he couldn’t pretend that what was going on behind his back did not interest him. The tantalizing (and certainly age-appropriate) idea of turning around to get a look—although this was terribly wicked—danced in his mind. Nevertheless, his loyal doggy nature (although he himself never thought of it this way) demanded he stare at the wall and never, by no means ever, look back.
Yet even the sight of the bare wall in front of him was enough to inflame his cheeks.
Meanwhile, Fie began casually calling out to him things like, “Hey, Queen, aren’t you getting tired of sitting like that?”
“I am not.”
Or, “Urgh, it’s so hard to get this thing closed.”
“I won’t look.”
She took her sweet time getting changed. Then, finally, Queen’s ordeal came to an end.
“Oh Queen, I’m dooone,” she sang.
The words were barely out of her mouth when Queen snapped around and drank in the sight. Fie wore a blue dress and had brushed her hair out into a more feminine style. She’s adorable, Queen thought. His heart skipped a beat.
In her typical devil-may-care way, she lifted each arm and turned all about, double-checking that everything was in its place before turning to Queen. “It feels kind of weird since I’m out of practice,” she said. “It’s been five months since I’ve worn this.”
Lost in the haze of ogling Fie’s beautiful grin, it took the befuddled gears in Queen’s brain a few minutes to turn and register what she had said. Wait. What?
“Five months?” he asked. Apart from this, what other opportunity did she have to dress like a girl?
“Yeah, I wore this into town with Sir Crow,” she said.
You went to town...with Sir Crow...? Queen thought. Crow had beaten Queen to the punch of seeing Fie dressed as a girl—and while on a trip into town, no less! Sir Crow deserved respect as Captain Yore’s second-in-command, but Queen still turned green with envy at the thought.
Even now, back in the lounge, Queen could still feel that pang of jealousy. Just then, he realized that Remie was standing in front of him.
“Queen, are you all right?” Remie was saying.
“Y-Yeah, sorry. Were you talking to me?”
“Yes. This is the third time I’ve tried to get your attention.”
Queen had been too caught up in his memories to notice any outside voices. It went to show how much he cared for Fie.
“Sorry,” Queen said. “What’s going on?”
Remie looked around to make sure no one was listening and then whispered, “Nothing’s going on, but there’s something I can’t talk about here. Can you come with me?”
“Sure,” Queen said. He followed Remie, confused.
Remie led them back to his room, where Gees and Slad awaited them. As Remie detailed his meeting with the maids it dawned on Queen that his friends were worried about him. Furthermore, Remie explained, he had asked the maids for their help, and one maid promised him to do her best to act as a go-between for the boys and Fie. If she was successful, then they would have a chance to speak to Heath again. Therefore, Remie asked Queen to write a letter of all the things he wanted to say to Fie.
Queen’s eyes widened. I can speak to Fie again! he thought. He pictured his favorite girl in the world. Then, he swallowed and said, “I’m sorry. I appreciate your intent, but I think it’s better if I refuse.”
“Huh?!” Slad cried. However, Remie and Gees looked like they expected this might happen.
“I don’t want to cause the maid any trouble,” Queen said. “And if she finds Fie, I’ll end up causing Fie trouble too. After all, she’s...already married to King Roy...” His face twisted in pain on these last words. “So I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Of course Queen wanted to see Fie, especially considering how depressed he was in her absence, but he put on a brave face, and came to this admirable decision instead. However, to the other boys’ eyes, this wasn’t admirable. It was heartbreaking. They knew exactly how much Queen cared for her.
Queen gave them a rare smile and said, “I’m grateful you did this for me. Thank you. By the way, you asked me the other day if I wanted to go to the circus, right? Is that offer still open?”
“Y-Yeah, for sure!” said Slad. “It’ll be here at the end of the month, so let’s go!”
“Sure...” said Gees.
“U-Uh-huh,” said Remie.
Remie and the others all knew that Queen was only putting on a show for them. This was a fake smile, one that he hadn’t cared enough to show before. The old Queen would never have been able to do that, as in his general awkwardness, he wore his heart on his sleeve, showing all of his emotions—the good, bad, and ugly alike—in perfect honesty. Yet Queen had begun to change, little by little, after meeting Fie.
The boys reaffirmed their friendship in her absence, but a week later, a disturbing rumor came to light.
✦ ✦ ✦
As Queen left Remie’s room, he ruminated on the fact that a full month had passed since he had last seen Fie. Maybe this was a short time to the other boys, but it felt like an eternity to Queen. He hadn’t ever been apart from her for so long. His heart ached for her.
Truthfully, he had wanted to take Remie and the others up on their offer. He wanted to speak to Fie again, even if it was only through letters.
Queen began to walk down memory lane again. Their first meeting was, looking back on it, too mortifying to even want to remember. And then there was the whole debacle when he accidentally saw her in the bath. When she swore him to absolute obedience, he had wondered what he had gotten himself into. However, when she invited him to gatherings with the others to help him feel more at home in the north dorm, he realized later on that he was the one who truly benefited in their agreement.
Honestly, he couldn’t recall the moment he had first developed feelings for her. Once he learned she was a girl, his heart began to beat a little faster every time he saw her. But that wasn’t why he liked her. He liked her because, among a whole other host of reasons, she was so cute when she smiled, she tried her hardest in everything, and was, even in her moments of duplicity, a kind and gentle soul.
What should I do now...? he wondered. According to rumor, Fie and King Roy were now getting along famously. Now that she was returned to her rightful place as his wife, pretty soon she might forget about Queen entirely. Once she thought about it, she’d realize that there’d be no point in returning to Queen. Since she was already married, dating Queen was the same as having an affair, and Queen wasn’t even a full knight yet; compared with the king, he was practically a child. On the flip side, King Roy was mature and attractive. Sure, having a first wife presented a bit of an obstacle, but maybe he was so smooth that he could pull it off. After all, Fie herself had said she got along well with her sister, and those who frequented the castle insisted the rumors claiming the twins had a bad relationship were false.
If Fie was happy where she was, then this spelled the end of Queen’s chances with her. He wasn’t sure how their relationship even could continue, now that everyone knew who she really was. He wished he could run away with her, like in the fairy tales about knights and their princesses he loved so much. Yet in the end, he was still a complete child. He was no brave knight worthy of standing at a princess’s side.