“Touka, you’re spilling the coffee. Hello?”
Kaneki saw the coffee overflowing from the cup and interrupted her. Must’ve been lost in thought.
“Whoa … You should’ve told me sooner!”
“Uh, okay … ?”
Looking frantically for a towel, Touka instructed Kaneki, “You pour the coffee!”
Maybe in time things will improve. If it were me I’d make a very patient decision after a week or so, but the amount of time that’s passed now has really surpassed my expectations.
The awkwardness between us just keeps building, like a pebble tumbling down a wintry slope, growing and growing as it picks up snow.
Kaneki made the coffee instead of Touka, and took it to the customer.
“Huh, I don’t think I’ve seen you working here before. Are you new? What’s your name?”
“Oh … I’m Ken Kaneki.”
The customer who’d ordered the coffee looked at Kaneki curiously, then said, “You have a very particular smell about you.” Realizing the man had sensed he was a Ghoul, Kaneki returned behind the counter.
“That guy’s one of us too?” he asked Touka.
“Yeah … He doesn’t live in the 20th Ward, though. He’s too weak to have a feeding ground in his own ward, so sometimes he comes here to forage. He likes to pry, so it’s better not to say too much,” she said.
“Oh, right … I didn’t know there were so many types of Ghouls.”
Kaneki looked at the other Ghoul with apparent interest. But his attention soon turned back to Touka.
“I forgot to say, thanks for the advice, Touka. I told Hide not to come to the café for a little while.”
“Hmm? What do you mean, advice? I didn’t do anything.”
“Well, no, but you did give me an example from the past.”
Even when I’m cold to him he still smiles back at me. I think he’s gotten a little more resilient. And when Touka’s face changed to an irritated scowl, Kaneki sensed he was on the verge of danger and said, “Well, anyway, thanks,” ending the conversation.
“If you ask me, he shouldn’t come back for the rest of his life,” she said in an outburst at Kaneki, who had turned away.
“What?”
“I told you before: Ghouls come here looking for information. Like him,” she said, nodding her head toward the Ghoul that Kaneki had just brought a coffee. “He takes humans to abandoned buildings or places where nobody else is, and he kills and eats them. Apparently he’s been looking for prey on the Internet lately. But that’s the kind of guy that hangs around here. If you care about your friend you should keep him away from Ghouls.”
Kaneki held his breath, and his eyes slowly drifted downward. My words had more effect than I imagined. Just as Touka started to suspect what he was so at a loss over, Kaneki began to speak in bursts.
“But we’ve always hung out … This might sound like an exaggeration, but he’s like a part of me. If I lost that, I don’t know what I’d do with myself.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Didn’t you just tell me I shouldn’t hang out with Hide anymore?”
Touka had only meant to tell him to make Hide not come to Anteiku anymore, but Kaneki had misunderstood. The logic took Touka aback. If, to keep them from harm, a human friend needed to be kept away from Ghouls, then the one they needed distance from, first and foremost, was none other than yourself.
Kaneki’s misunderstanding had actually hit at the heart of the matter. So what about me and Yoriko?
“Touka, are you all right?” Kaneki asked, clearly having sensed she was not.
“I’m fine.”
“You haven’t really been yourself the last few days, though.”
“It’s nothing, I told you.”
Now I’ve gone and made Kaneki worried about me. She felt uncomfortable with his concerned look.
“Is it something to do with Yoriko?”
He’d cut straight to the heart of it. Reflexively she had started shaking. And from that, Kaneki had taken a guess.
“Did you guys have a fight?”
“Just shut up and get back to work.”
Touka started washing out the soaked hand towels. But Kaneki did not go away.
“What’s with you?” Kaneki asked, sounding annoyed. He looked at Touka as if there were something else he wanted to say. “I hope you guys make up soon.” He paused again. “The longer you let things go on for, the more misunderstandings pile up and things get worse. You shouldn’t just leave things as they are, in my opinion.”
Kaneki had his hands clasped together, timidly offering her his advice.
“You never shut up,” Touka fired back. “It wasn’t a fight.”
On her way home after finishing her shift at Anteiku, Touka took out the map of the zoo that Yoriko had given her and looked at it.
It was only a few days until they’d been meant to go to the zoo. Things’ll be back to normal by then, I know it. And if they’re not, if we just go to the zoo anyway, Yoriko will be so happy everything will be just like always.
Feeling more positive now, Touka carefully folded the map and put it back in her bag.
But betrayal comes quickest when hope is high.