Chapter Eleven: Dressing Up the Panda
The next day, deciding we had some spare time, we took the portal over to Siltvelt. Kou and Lazy Pig stayed back to watch over the carriage. I wasn’t 100% confident in that combination but figured Kou would probably handle things well.
When we got to Siltvelt, we went to the tavern where we had met that panda before.
The filolial egg hadn’t hatched yet, but I could tell it wouldn’t be long.
We went inside and saw the panda there, who waved over Father.
“Hey! Been a while. How ya doin’?”
“You know, the same. How about you, Lars?”
“We’re just sittin’ here waitin’ for the scent of war to kick up, but there’s been no word, so we’re startin’ to get bored out of our minds,” the panda replied. “If ya wanna go out huntin’ or something, we were thinkin’ about headin’ to Zeltoble.”
“War . . .” As soon as Father heard the word, he appeared to space out.
He was right to be concerned. Considering how Melromarc had treated Father, if Siltvelt found out, there’d be war in no time.
“Ya see, there’s been rumors around about how Melromarc has been mistreatin’ the Shield Hero. It’s startin’ to get the people riled up for a fight. Stay safe out there.”
“We’ll be careful,” Father said. “Now that Keel can transform, as long as we have her, we’ll be safe.”
“A little puppy might not be enough. Just saying.”
Keel growled at the panda. “What are you saying?! That I can’t be trusted?”
“Settle down now,” Father said. “Anyway, that’s why we came over to see you, Lars.”
“You wanna hire me or something?” The panda chuckled. “Don’t get on your high horse just because I did ya a favor one time. I’m pretty busy.”
“But you’re just sitting there playing cards,” Father said.
“S-shut up! I’m too busy to help ya out again.”
“Okay, well, since you mentioned it, do you want to go hunting with us? That’s the real reason we came to visit you, anyhow.”
“You say that now . . .” The panda trailed off.
“We’ll be sure to make it worth your while. Look, we made you something. Motoyasu?”
“Of course!” I took out the clothes that Father had asked me to prepare for the panda. It was pretty similar to the maid outfit I had designed for Keel.
As soon as the panda saw the outfit, she spat out her drink.
“Idiot! What . . . what the hell kinda outfit is that?”
“Isn’t this what you wanted? It’s just what we made for Keel.”
The panda’s entourage started speaking up.
“That’s what the lady’s gonna go for? Not sure if it fits her personality . . .”
“Don’t overthink it,” Father told the panda. “It’s just like Keel’s, and it’ll look great on you.”
“I’m not wearing this outfit ’cause I want to!” barked Keel. “I’m only wearing it ’cause you asked me to!”
Even in her dog form, Keel was wearing the maid outfit. It was about time that we considered making a version with magic thread.
“Didn’t I tell you before I wasn’t interested in that girly outfit? Are you deaf?”
“You did, and I told you it’ll look good, so Motoyasu went ahead and made it. I mean, you’re already cute, so it’s a natural fit.”
Father took the outfit from me and handed it over to the panda.
“It’s . . . that’s . . . it’s not my type!” the panda protested.
She looked like she was blushing, or was it just my imagination?
“I think once you have this on, all you’ll need is a ribbon on your head, and voila. However, a hat wouldn’t be bad either. Keel looks great in his maid outfit even in therianthrope form, and I think the same would go for you.”
“Why don’t you ever listen to me?! If ya don’t shut up about this nonsense, I’m gonna get pissed!”
“No need to get upset,” Father said. “Okay then, well, how about just a plain old bandana on your head like this?” Father wrapped the bandana around her head. The panda didn’t resist and appeared to have resigned herself to Father’s fashion whims.
“Great, and now we add a ribbon,” Father said. “We can put a big one right on your waist here for a nice accent.” She was starting to look like a pirate with a friendly, big-sisterly disposition.
I had to say, it looked great. It was fashionable too.
“Why are you doing this to me?” the panda groaned, glancing down at herself with a bored expression. “What’s so fun about dressin’ me up like this, anyhow?”
“I wanted to see if it was as cute as I was picturing it,” Father said. “I mean, it’s fun to dress up like this. You’re really pretty in your demi-human form, so try it out.”
“P-pretty! I’m not pretty!”
But when Father held up a mirror, the panda stopped.
“Huh? That’s me?”
“That’s you all right. Cute as can be! I can tell you’re caring for your hair now, like I mentioned before. It’s looking really fluffy!”
“That . . . that doesn’t look like me at all.”
Just then, a bunch of the panda’s mercenaries came over and one of them grabbed Father by the collar.
“Hey, you. Just whaddaya think you’re doing?! If you keep messing with us, we’ll kick your butts and send you flying!”
“Yeah, leave her alone!”
The panda shouted at her mercenaries to calm down.
“You tryin’ to turn her into some sorta lewd pig? She’s started to pay attention to the way she walks, taking care of her fur, stuff like that! She ain’t nothing like she used to be!”
“A lewd pig? Jeez, no need to turn into Motoyasu.”
Huh? Did I do something? Oh right. I ought to clarify the matter so no one gets confused.
“Please do not be mistaken of our intentions,” I declared.
“What’re you talking about?”
“That panda is not a pig, I say!”
“That’s right!” Yuki chimed in. “She’s a panda, black and white! And white is the most noble of colors!”
Father stared at us blankly and sighed.
“Motoyasu, please shut up and don’t say anything. Yuki, you’re fine.”
“Yes, Father!”
Father turned back to the panda and her mercenaries.
“L-look, we just want you to leave us alone!” one of them shouted. “You keep trying to take the lady and make her dress up and look at herself in the mirror and stuff! We’re mercenaries!”
“That’s right,” the panda agreed. “I don’t need clothes like that anyway! I don’t even know how you got me into this ridiculous outfit—”
“But, my lady, you’re . . . you’re a goddess now! You can never go back!” called another one of her subordinates, giving a big thumbs-up.
“What?” Father glanced over at them.
“You’re perfect in that outfit!” another one shouted, giving the thumbs-up.
“Perfect!” A rousing chorus of mercenaries agreed.
What was going on? Everyone seemed to be changing their minds all of a sudden.
One of the mercenaries even had tears in his eyes. “My lady . . . to think that you were this charming, this beautiful!” He turned to Father. “Unbelievable! You’re a guiding light for us. Thank you, sir. Thank you!”
“Hang on!” shouted the panda.
Father smiled. “My pleasure. Her beauty is all-natural. In her original demi-human form and her therianthrope form alike, she’s as lovely as they come.”
“Y-you really think so?” gasped the mercenary. “You’re our guiding light—no, our hero! Don’t stop now! Make our lady a more luscious, more alluring woman! We pledge to be her loyal pets! But please, don’t stop now!”
“I’ve had enough of all of you!” bellowed the panda, storming after her mercenaries and Father alike with a series of powerful punches. Of course, her punches didn’t hurt Father.
The panda finally relented and sighed. “What on earth is even happening?”
“You just have that natural charm,” Father said, smiling. “I’ll help you. It’ll be the Lars Improvement Plan!”
“Whatever.” Now the panda just looked bored. She scratched her head. “Let’s just get going.”
Father and the panda took a moment to organize their parties and calm everyone down.
“So where to?” the panda asked. “How about the same monsters that always make us money?”
Father thought about it. “Motoyasu, where do you think would be good?”
“I recommend going after the dragons that live deep in the mountains,” I declared.
“Dragons!” exclaimed the panda. “Just what kind of insane hunting trip are you trying to take us on? Are you trying to get us killed?”
Personally, I wasn’t aware of any dragons strong enough to kill us. At Father’s current level of strength, even a dragon capable of beating an adventurer at level 100 would be a piece of cake for us.
“Before we go, I’d like to check on my bioplants,” I said. I had gone ahead and planted some before the wave of destruction.
“Oh right. If we do it right, we can solve food supply issues, right?”
“Precisely. To be on the safe side, I planted them away from any human settlements, so I think we should go check on it while we have the time.”
“Okay, so we’ll go hunting after we check on the bioplants. Lars, do you want to come too?”
“I guess so,” the panda said, crossing her arms. “You guys are plain nuts.”
With that, our team and the panda and her mercenaries went over to the field where I had started growing bioplants. I had picked a stretch of wilderness that even demi-humans from Siltvelt wouldn’t wander into and planted them there. Just a few weeks later, there was already a dense forest growing on the plot of land. The seeds had already ripened tremendously, and now an immense, fantastic forest had grown, bringing with it an abundant harvest and monstrous, terrifying creatures.
From afar, I could see vicious humanoid-like flowers present deep in the forest. I think it was what was known as PlantRiwe.