Her maid followed close behind. A tall, reptilian beastmaid, she had thin, vertical pupils, brown skin, scales trailing over her cheekbones, and a black tail peeking out beneath her skirt. Her long black locks were pulled into twin ponytails, and I could see what looked like horns in her hair. She also wore adventurer gear over her uniform, though she didn’t seem to be carrying any weapons.
“And you are?”
“Wh-why you! Don’t tell me you forgot my name?!”
“You’re as obnoxiously loud as always, Freyja. I heard you stomping over here a mile away.”
“I’d expect nothing less of you, Lanialiuna, the only mage I’ve ever deemed worthy of the title. It appears your long ears are more than a simple display.”
“It’s Laualliuna. Are you the one forgetting names now?”
The maid took a step forward. “A pleasure to see you again after so long, Lady Laualliuna,” she greeted Lana, bowing ever so politely. “My mistress has not forgotten. She simply has made no effort to remember.”
“It’s good to see you, Lazalisa. I understand you have your orders, but I’m surprised to see you still attending to her. She must trouble you ceaselessly.”
“Tremendously.”
“You’re supposed to say no, never there, Lazalisa,” the well-to-do maiden chided her servant.
Hold up. “Lana, care to introduce me to your friends?” This was new, a breath of fresh air. Lana never spoke to anyone like this. Even around people she knew, the elven mage was always calm and demure. I never would’ve imagined she could be this sassy.
“This—,” Lana begrudgingly began to say, when—
“Pay close attention, peasant. My name is Freyja Deus Gastolfo, descendant of Lady Gastolfo, Goddess of Fertility, certified student of the honorable Hoense School of Magic, and greatest mage in the world. Furthermore, I am also an adventurer and recipient of the title sanctioned for generations by the Central Continent’s Adventurers Guild—Champion of Light!” she declared with a very How do you like them apples? self-satisfied grin. She was the kind of person you’d expect to start laughing in a shrill, high-pitched cackle.
……Hmm? I heard that name, Gastolfo, just yesterday. Looks like the Dark Lord and the Champion of Light are part of this ancestry. Could this be a coincidence? Please let it just be coincidence.
“She was my classmate at Hoense.”
“Gotcha.” Lana said no more by way of introduction.
Freyja studied me intensely. “Lanyanyaliuna, who might this be?”
“My husband.”
““What?”” Freyja and her maid both gasped in astonishment.
“This is the man I married. His name is Souya, the Otherworlder. We have an official marriage certificate signed by King Remlia.”
“Hi, uh, nice to meet you.” Hearing her call me “husband” immediately flustered me. I even forgot our wedding was a sham.
“Wh-wha-what did you say?!” Freyja reeled, almost toppling over, but the trusty maid caught one of her ringlets just in time. You sure about catching your employer like that?
“Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined you, Launyanyan, who was the least interested in boys, would beat me to the altar, much less with a heim!”
“So, Freyja, what did you want?” Lana looked pissed. I’d never seen her this ticked off. Her cold demeanor had its own icy charm. It turned me on in a new way.
“I hear you’ve become an adventurer, Lananana.”
“Yes, although not by choice.”
“Grh! Then why?! Why?!! Why did you not send me word, however brief?! When I was the one who asked you to become adventurers with me?!!”
“No reason.” Talk about curt.
“Urrrgh! You’re still the most heartless elf I’ve ever laid eyes on! How dare you toy with my heart so?”
Her grip still tight around one of Freyja’s ringlets, the beastmaid said, “Milady, you and I have been in Remlia for merely fifty days and only just learned of Lady Laualliuna’s entry in the adventuring profession ten days ago. But above all, I believe Lady Laualliuna has had no need to know of our residence here. You have not yet accomplished anything worthy of note.”
“Urrrrgh! Even so, she could have sensed the emotional resonance when in her dear friend’s presence or, like, tapped into the passionate connection linking us fellow Hoense mages through which we feel and lead the other in turn.”
“Freyja, I have never once shared any such repugnant tie to you, nor do I ever intend to.” The devastatingly gorgeous ice queen Lana had shut her down.
Clearly fed up with the situation, the reptilian attendant said, “Milady, in truth, you and I have passed Lady Laualliuna seven times already, and not once did you recognize her ‘presence.’”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Lazalisa?! You’re supposed to tell me these things!”
“My apologies, milady, I assumed you had intentionally disregarded her presence. Only now do I realize I gave you far too much credit.” What an odd pair.
“……So…,” Lana began, her voice cold enough to freeze. “What do you want from me?”
“Hee-hee-hee, Lalalanlalanla.” Hey, that’s crossing a line. “Why, you lucky lady! You mage turned adventurer, I have wonderful news for Y-O-U! Out of the profound kindness of my heart, I have decided to bestow upon you the unprecedented! Unparalleled! Honor of allowing you to join my expedition!”
“I’ll pass.”
“Hee-hee, you’re more than welcome. Please, there’s no need to feel indebted, for this is something so trifling among comrades who have tackled the greatest odds to develop our skills together. A word of warning, however, as the enemies we shall face are formidable indeed, and while the mage I once knew would be up to the task, I—”
“I’m not going with you.”
“Of course, I just knew you would accept. After all, out of all the students who passed through our alma mater’s doors in its long history, you managed to get kicked out in record time and destroy more historical structures than anyone before. You, the greatest mage of calamity, are the only person I have deemed my equal.” She froze. “Wait……whaaat?! Why not?!”
Oh goodness, it’s like I’m watching an old comedy routine. Maybe we can harness the power of stand-up comedians, skits, and entertainment to save the Other Dimension! It’ll be a monumental success!
Yeah, not happening.
“You could at least hear her out first before you turn her down, Lana,” I suggested.
“Certainly,” she agreed, using that same icy tone on me as well. “Freyja, explain yourself. I will listen to whatever drivel you have to say. You should thank my husband as long as you live for the great generosity he has shown you.”
“Hmph, my thanks, peasant. However, I am certain that once you hear my proposal, Launyanyan, you shall leap at the chance to assist with—”
“Cut to the chase. You always—always—take forever with your preambles.”
“……Okay.” Ah, that one hit her hard. “Lazalisa, you tell her,” the blond maiden ordered, crestfallen, then turned her back to us and crouched down to sulk.