After changing the hardness of the dried potato, my master stretched and deformed the part that was embedded in the apple and smiled as she ate the potato-filled fruit.
“True magic and magic tricks are similar. Once you know what’s actually going on, you can deal with it in any way you like. Strike your opponent when she’s off guard. Make your opponent think it’s impossible, and victory will become possible for you.”
My master’s words were moving, but the reality of the situation was pretty miserable. I’d been thoroughly beaten up and was reduced to a rag by early afternoon.
“I can’t see in front of me, I can’t see the future—I can’t see anything at all.”
“That’s a magnificently pathetic rap, coated with a sense of defeat. Maybe fellow losers would answer you if you howl.”
“Has Snow been influencing you? Especially with the way you talk?”
Not caring about getting her clothes dirty, Rei knelt on the ground and wiped my face with a moist handkerchief. After attending to my wounds, she carefully raised my head and set it on her lap.
I kept my head up and used my abdominal muscles to hold my upper body in place. Then I slid sideways, moving only my lower body.
I tried to shake off her thigh with my super-fast movement, but its soft feel lingered in my brain—and I saw Rei smiling triumphantly at me.
W-was she moving sideways while sitting up straight on her knees?
I gave up as Rei dabbed my cheek with her handkerchief and tapped my forehead to warn me.
“Don’t overdo it, Hiiro. I’m well aware that you like doing reckless things with a smug look on your face, but give me a break and give me peace of mind once in a while—hey, don’t disappear while I’m lecturing you.”
Rei slapped my stomach, which I’d made invisible using optical camouflage.
She continued to care for me, offering her lap as a pillow for my invisible body. Her devotion gave this air-boy Hiiro the strength to stand on his feet. Then he opened the tent entrance to air it.
It was still foggy outside, eerily smoky.
As I wondered what was happening, a barbecue grill and the smug face of a certain four-hundred-and-twenty-year-old I knew came into view.
My master clanked her tongs as the cloud of white smoke enveloped her.
“It’s time—cough, cough!—for lunch—cough, cough!—Let’s—cough, cough!—eat—cough, cough, cough!”
“Are you trying to commit suicide using that barbecue grill?”
A few minutes later, my master with the white smoke face pack was relieved of her duties and sat alone in a corner.
“Hiiro, are you done yet? Isn’t it taking you a while? Oh? Is there a speed limit on your cooking skills? Aren’t you causing damage to my stomach with your tardiness?”
“Don’t start seasoning the food with your complaints before it’s even cooked! I’ll put the Noise Regulation Law into effect and have your chattering stopped right now, you long-eared elf!!”
My master stole a glance at Rei’s reaction.
“Hiiro, the chatty long-eared elf is now causing more noise pollution, only with her gaze this time.”
“Ignore her. She’s already making a hundred and twenty decibels with her gaze alone. Take a firm stand, Rei, so you don’t end up being her prey, too. Pity is the only thing you should give an elf that’s managed to be around for four hundred and twenty years buttering people up. Show her some human pride.”
The fire became stable when we added charcoal.
The moment we began grilling the meat, the holy archers suddenly appeared with paper plates and disposable chopsticks in their hands.
“No food here for stray elves! Beat it!”
“……”
“Please stop picking at your faces with those chopsticks, and don’t try to grill yourselves. You’ll get burn marks on your cheeks, and it will detract from your charm.”
They didn’t seem interested in removing their masks while they ate. They tossed meat in through their eye holes while staring at us, making noisy eating sounds.
“That masked girl is smiling and staring at us while she chews away at her meat… It’s scary…”
My master was all smiles. She drizzled sauce all over her meat and ate it with the rice we cooked in portable rice cookers.
The elves were afraid of smoke, and once they realized we didn’t have a sufficient supply of meat, they came up with a new way to throw raw meat onto the grill from a distance. It landed on the back of my head, at which time I decided it was caused by friendly fire and revoked their right to proceed while Rei continued to grill more meat.
“You inferior species!!”
“……”
“Hiiro, control yourself! They’re still holding out their plates, wanting to eat more, but you have to hold back! It’s quicker to poison the meat!”
After a lively lunch, I climbed up onto the torii gate and swung my legs back and forth while I thought.
Fog. Fog. Fog… This was a fog that controlled my magic power. But why wasn’t it doing that a minute ago? Had it been in a bad mood? No, it wasn’t as if the fog had a consciousness, so that wasn’t it, in which case there had to be some criteria.
Then I realized the demon was sitting next to me, swinging her legs as I was doing.
“Hey, troubled youth. Do you need someone with a sharp mind to support you?” the demon in a trench coat whispered with a lisp.
I sighed and stared into the distance.
“Hmm? What are you looking at—? Whoa…!”
Alsuhariya looked out, and I pushed her off the gate.
After making sure she had landed headfirst, I shot invisible arrows at her. Then I looked down at the pile of arrows and finally felt at peace.
Now, what should I do about my problem with that fog—?
“Hey.”
Alsuhariya suddenly appeared next to me again.
“Don’t kill a person as a way to greet them. I’ll charge you an extra fee if you attack me again.”
“Then don’t talk to me so casually.”
“You’re talking big, Emperor. I’m your savior, your messiah. I’ve taken the trouble of coming here and showing you my beautiful face just to save you.”
Alsuhariya stood on top of the torii gate, stretched out her arms, and laughed.