Riunione was a small village in the mountains. The kind of small village where the people spent their days tilling their fields, fishing in the river, and raising their goats. And just the right place for me to hide.
It had been some time since I first came here. Maybe a month and a half from that day, but still under two. Since then, the seasons had changed, and it was now the latter half of the month of Frimaire. We were well into autumn. I had never known that winter came early in the north before coming here. Both Arldat and my hometown of Hasawes were in the southern part of Banfield, but Riunione was in the north. I was used to it just being chilly right around now, but this was way past that — straight into cold. We even had snow!
The villagers were all kind. I was welcomed, even when my circumstances seemed suspicious, and they helped me. Of course, I could thank the person who brought me here for that. Apparently, Riunione was his — Mister Guido Arare’s — hometown. Back then, Vice-Commander Astorga had let me live, reporting that Lucia was dead. He even apologized deeply for cutting my hair and stealing my name.
As I sat there in shock, he told me with a bitter look that if the King learned “I” was alive, he could hurt the people important to me.
My existence was a danger to both myself and the people I loved.
His Majesty would start with Sir Gaius and my laundrymaid friends, who were of little use to him, and end with Sir Celes and Miss Maria, people who could damage the country itself. When I heard this, there was no way I could resist. If “Lucia” would be a danger to Sir Celes and my friends, then “Lucia” shouldn’t live.
After I agreed, Sir Astorga let me run far away from the capital. Though he had first thought of bringing me to his territory, he ended up sending me along with Mister Guido, who we had met coincidentally, to somewhere that was completely unrelated to him.
“You must live. Please... Keep yourself alive, away from kings or heroes. At least three years. Please, just hold out until then.”
I didn’t know what he meant by three years. I didn’t know if things could even go back to normal in that time; but I could feel just how desperate he was to save me. Many people suffered in order to save “me.” All I could do was hide, and live on. I couldn’t die. I had to face forward, start with what I could. If I wanted to protect the people I loved, I had to live, even if Lucia had to die.
“Notte!” someone called. I looked up in response, resting my hands from weeding.
Notte. That was my new name. That day, I’d lost my hair and name in exchange for my life, and was given a new one. But I was still a dead woman. Notte didn’t exist on paper. Though I was in an ambiguous position where I was living while dead, I could still live normally without being registered, just like others.
“What’s wrong, Missus Olga?”
This woman was Mister Guido’s wife’s mother. She had looked after me when I suddenly appeared, without questioning anything. She was very helpful, kind of like Chicca... Nevermind.
“Notte, I’m going to make cheese. Can you help? I’ll make yours along with it.”
“Okay. Go ahead. I’ll just go wash my hands real quick.”
Nodding to her, I bundled up all of the weeds I’d plucked, tossing them into the manure barrel. I went to the side of the house I was borrowing, and scooped some water from my bucket to wash the dirt from my hands. The freezing water told me just how close winter was.
✦ ✦ ✦
Though it was hard living all alone, I was able to manage it when I thought about how I was protecting my friends. Time continued to pass, and the air and water became even colder as winter deepened. The world went white, snow falling endlessly from the thick clouds.
“Ah!” I exclaimed.
I’d been doing the laundry inside, since everything would freeze if I tried to dry it outside. But drying things inside would make them smell, so I soaked them in hot water before washing. This gave them a different smell. I had learned that from Chicca when I first became a laundrymaid. I might not have been able to get every stain out anymore, but I still had a few tricks up my sleeve to make the most of things. But doing laundry like this made me think of everyone back at the castle, and my friends.
I wonder how they’re doing? Are they okay? They’re not hurt, are they? Sir Astorga had told me they’d be in danger if I wasn’t disposed of. They should have been fine as long as I hid here. Chicca, Rossella, Jeanne, and Joanne. I wondered if they were still working hard at their jobs. Word hadn’t come to this village about the Sacred Maiden returning to her world. Was Miss Maria still in this world?
Thinking about everyone just ended up filling me with regrets. I had made so many unfulfilled promises, and it showed just how convinced I’d been that tomorrow would always come. I had learned that after my mother had passed, but it seemed as if I’d forgotten along the way.
Promising to work with someone again. Promising to go eat cake with someone once I got back. Promising that I’d definitely see someone off. Promising I’d make someone a fish pie. Promising I’d visit someone’s house.
I got hung up on so many promises, but the one that hurt the most was the promise that I’d live along with him.
If I couldn’t do that, I should have treasured our time together more. If I couldn’t call his name out anymore, I should have dropped the “Sir” like he wanted. If we’d ended up having to end things, I should have told him I loved him more. The one who loved me, who I loved back. The one who protected me, and had decided to become my family. Everything had slipped through my fingers in an instant, just like the water in the laundry.
Wanting to stop my bitter feelings, I touched the one thing I had left. The bracelet on my left wrist felt just as smooth as it had been the day he gave it to me. I wonder if I can go back someday. And if I can’t go back, I wonder if I could ever hear about him in the future and smile, I thought. But even if I could, none of those things were in the present. I didn’t even know if they would ever come.