“I’m turning off the light.”
“Go ahead.”
A rustle of clothes, a dip of the mattress, and Lloyd sidled up to Chloe, their nightly ritual in their shared bed. Chloe couldn’t help but giggle, a lightness in her heart.
“What’s so funny?” Lloyd asked, curious.
“It’s just strange to think about,” Chloe said, her voice laced with nostalgia. “I was just a runaway, and you were just offering me shelter out of the kindness of your heart. We were strangers; now look at us.” She snuggled up to Lloyd. “I came to the capital with no money, nowhere to go—barely a will to live. If you hadn’t found me when you did, I would’ve surely perished on those streets. One wrong turn and life could have gone so differently.”
“You’ve grown so much since then,” Lloyd observed.
“Have I?”
“You were so jumpy and timid back then—hardly able to meet my gaze,” Lloyd reminisced.
“W-Was I now...?”
“I remember how you welcomed me home, bowing so low your forehead kissed the floor. I don’t think I’ll forget that image for as long as I live.”
Chloe buried herself in the covers in shame. “I... I really wish you would. I thought it was normal back then; I didn’t know any better.”
“But now you speak what’s on your mind and carry yourself with your head held high. You’ve become so much more cheerful and lively.”
“And just whose fault do you think that is?” Chloe emerged from her cocoon, snuggling closer to Lloyd, her tone playful. “If you hadn’t constantly encouraged me, always pushed me to express myself, I’d still be that same shy girl.”
“Really?” Lloyd sounded genuinely surprised. “Then I’m glad.”
“You’re glad?” Chloe teased with mock annoyance. “That’s all you have to say?” Her tone softened. “You know, you’ve changed a lot too, Lloyd.”
“Really? In what ways?”
“When we first met, you were so inscrutable, unchanging—unfeeling, almost,” Chloe began, her voice soft in the darkness. “You were quite intimidating, honestly. But now...” She took a moment to find Lloyd in the darkness, not speaking until she was sure his eyes were on hers. “You make faces, you react to things—you seem so much more alive.”
Lloyd blinked, absorbing her words. Then, almost as if to exemplify her point, his eyes softened in affection.
“And just whose fault do you think that is?” he asked gently, his hand lightly caressing her through the blanket. “Before you came into my life, my days were monotonous, devoid of any real emotions. Why would I make a face when nothing really made me feel that way? I never knew joy or anticipation—I didn’t even realize how my demeanor alienated my fellow knights. Only the vice commander ever really tried to connect with me.” Lloyd swallowed, taking a breath before continuing. “But since meeting you, everything has changed—slowly at first, but irrevocably. You’ve opened up a world to me that’s rich with happiness, excitement, and affection. It’s no wonder my expressions have started to change.”
“Wow,” Chloe breathed out, her voice tinged with emotion. “You have no idea how much that means to me.” She lapsed into thought for a moment. “But I don’t think that’s quite correct. I might’ve been the key, but the warmth, kindness, and brightness were always there inside you, just waiting to be unlocked. Something was always just...in the way.”
Chloe instantly regretted her words as she saw a flicker of pain cross Lloyd’s face. Her heart sank. How could she have been so insensitive? There was something in the way, something in Lloyd’s past that he had yet to overcome. Rushing to apologize, she said, “I-I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“It’s fine; I know,” Lloyd said.
A moment of silence passed. “Chloe, you once mentioned us being similar.”
“I... I did, but what about it?”
“The other day, you questioned if it was right for me to love you, questioned whether you deserve this happiness.”
“I did, and it’s something I’m quite embarrassed to be reminded of...”
“I...” Chloe felt Lloyd’s body tense beside her. “I also struggle with feeling undeserving of love—of being loved.”
The confession seemed to drain the warmth from the room. Lloyd turned to face her directly. “I think I’m ready to tell you about my past.”
A jolt shot down her spine. She remembered their conversation in the park, the unspoken truths and pain that Lloyd had hinted at but had not yet shared. Their conversation from that night replayed in her head.
Since then, I wondered if there was more to you that I didn’t know. More to your horrible upbringing that I wasn’t privy to. Parts that torment you, even now. I hoped I was wrong, but...
No, you’re not wrong. You’re not wrong, but... It’s not something I’ve come to terms with myself. I’m sorry, Chloe, I truly am, but can you wait for me, just a little while longer?
Lloyd had a feeling. If he was to tell Chloe about the most harrowing chapter of his past, a secret that had been weighing on his heart like a leaden shroud, it had to be now. Amid their conversation about change and the profound impact that Chloe had brought, Lloyd realized the dissonance of keeping his darkest secret from her.
He didn’t need to share. He knew that if he were to stay silent, Chloe wouldn’t say a word. But he couldn’t let her continue to fumble around in the dark, especially when she had shared her own painful history with him. It was time to reciprocate that trust.
“You know that as a child, I was raised to be a soldier—an insurgent,” Lloyd began, his tone somber.