With each Look-Again Cigarette that he smoked, Julio became more convinced of how right he was.
A few more days passed, when from the customer seating Julio heard:
“You see that guy? I guess he was in the newspaper.”
“Huh. Why? He looks like a normal guy to me.”
Julio immediately took his break and went to smoke.
A few days more.
“Julio… Not that I really mind, but don’t you think you’ve been smoking a lot of cigarettes lately?” the waitress asked him, uncomfortable. Julio promptly smoked another.
Several more days.
“Something’s been strange with you lately. You spend your entire shift smoking. I thought you were a harder worker than that,” the owner told him in a warning tone. Julio lost no time smoking another cigarette.
Finally, one more day went by. The owner called Julio out behind the store and gave him the news.
“I’m sorry, Julio. I have to let you go.”
His services wouldn’t be required, starting the next day.
Julio didn’t understand.
Was this some sort of joke?
Maybe the sancta’s effect had worn off—he lit another Look-Again Cigarette.
“For God’s sake, enough is enough! You do nothing but smoke those cigarettes!”
The owner snatched the cigarette right out of Julio’s mouth, threw it on the ground, and ground it under his heel. Smoke didn’t even rise from it; it lay there looking like a smashed earthworm.
“You always used to do at least a bare minimum of work, so I didn’t care if you had a smoke here or there, but these days you spend more time smoking than working! Frankly, you’re just in the way. If you’re not going to do your job, then go home.”
Those words, they were…so cold.
“But…but…!”
If you let me go now, you’ll regret it! Are you sure you can live with this decision?
Julio spoke desperately, trying to stop the owner from doing this. Behind his words, there was anger at the other man. Who did he think had made his restaurant so successful? Who kept it running? It was all because Julio worked so hard to support his colleagues.
“What in the world are you talking about?” the owner spat, oblivious to Julio’s thoughts. “This place would run just fine without you.”
Julio watched him go, unable to say a word. Instead he crouched and looked at the ground. “I wonder if I could still smoke this…”
He reached down and scraped up the cigarette. The leaves had come out, but if he could get it into a halfway decent shape, it might still be possible to light it up.
Still squatting there, he lit it. White smoke drifted through the narrow back alley and into the sky.
“Ahh, who cares? There are plenty of places out there that will appreciate me.”
Julio stood up and walked off into town, still reeking of smoke.
How many places had he gone? Julio looked back over the time since he had started smoking the Look-Again Cigarettes.
Things always went well at first. He would join a new restaurant. They would say nice things about the work he was doing; his colleagues would wax enthusiastic about what a great new coworker they had. But as they got used to having Julio around, they stopped sounding so grateful.
Even though I’m so capable!
Eventually, people always stopped noticing what he was really doing. Julio, unable to bear it, would smoke more cigarettes. More and more and more.
Each time people stopped paying attention to him, he would reach for a cigarette. Again and again he found them in his hands.
But again and again the result was the same:
“You’re fired.”
“Try to actually do your job.”
I am doing my job!
“You’re no help at all!”
You only say that because you don’t notice me.
“You do nothing but smoke your cigarettes!”
Because none of you will even look at me!
At each place, Julio would end up in an argument with the owner and ultimately be let go. It was the same story every time.
And every time, Julio burned through more cigarettes.
So he would have to go to Carredura to buy more.
“Please, Miss Carredura, sell me more Look-Again Cigarettes.”
Julio intended to keep doing this until he finally found somewhere that acknowledged his brilliance.
Carredura gave him a smile. “I’m so sorry. I’m completely sold out.”
“What?”
He must not have heard her right. Sold out? He couldn’t buy any more Look-Again Cigarettes? He couldn’t believe it.
“Look, without them, I… Well, I have to have them!”
“I’m afraid that puts me in a rather awkward position. What’s gone is gone.” Carredura was still smiling, but her tone brooked no argument.
Julio couldn’t process it. He felt like reality was going fuzzy in front of his eyes. No Look-Again Cigarettes? How was he supposed to survive without them?
“D-do you have anything else? Some kind of substitute? You must have something! Or I…I…”
“No, nothing.” A smiling refusal.
Still Julio begged. If he didn’t have his Look-Again Cigarettes, nobody would be able to see what he was really worth. Everyone around him was too stupid to notice on their own.
“Without those cigarettes, no one can see the real me! Please! I’m begging you…”
“I’m sorry. Did you say something?” Carredura looked at him as if puzzled.
All she saw was a man who looked like he was about to burst into tears. A pathetic man. A man with no special abilities to speak of, not even capable of putting forth a little effort. A man in complete denial about his own lack of talent, unwilling to listen to others’ frank assessments of him, and yet still sure that someone, someday, would give him the credit he wasn’t even due. And he himself did nothing. A sad, empty man living a sad, empty life.
Carredura regarded him with her sweetest smile. “I believe you’re showing me the real you right now.”