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THE rest of Alicia’s inspection tours proceeded without issue, and the day to return home to Heilland arrived.
The morning of their departure was clear, without a cloud in sight. The number of citizens gathered outside the castle gates was easily double that of the day of their arrival. As the final greeting, Alicia made an appearance on the castle balcony together with the empress, and the crowd erupted in cheers.
“Aren’t you glad you suggested releasing the unionists’ lackey?” Elizabeth asked the wide-eyed Alicia as her eyes scanned the crowd. “The citizens know that if I’d made the decision alone, that man would have been dead. You do things a different way. It may not be the way I’d do it, but it is certainly an alternative.”
With her goodbyes said, Alicia boarded her carriage. As it pulled away, she thought back to two people she had seen during her farewell, Fritz and Charlotte.
Though she’d had a few chances to speak with Fritz, they had been superficial exchanges. The rift that had separated them since the night of the banquet could no longer be crossed.
It bothered Alicia a little. Fritz might be a complicated person, but they needed to keep in touch if she wanted to maintain friendly ties with Erdal in the future. But trying to repair the relationship by force now was not the best option. She’d already established strong ties with the empress, so she could afford to let time heal the damage between her and the crown prince. She had no need to worry.
Charlotte, however, was more of a concern. She had continued to evade Alicia, and the princess only managed to catch the girl right before her departure.
Only one thing could cause Charlotte to act with so much fear and guilt, and it was the crown prince. Alicia had tried to probe, but as expected, Charlotte would only utter apologies and nothing else. As Alicia’s departure time approached, she finally wrangled out a half-hearted promise that they would write to each other to keep in touch.
Despite this little setback, Alicia felt she’d accomplished a lot during this trip.
Thanks to the unionists’ protest, negotiations with the empress had been easy, and she’d achieved all the goals and policy changes she’d discussed with her father, King James, prior to her trip.
But it had been an exhausting process, and Alicia and Clovis were tired from their interactions with Elizabeth. Both were silent on the way home as they stared at the scenery outside the window.
“Am I making good progress?” Clovis turned his head at Alicia’s sudden question. Not wishing to see herself reflected in that violet gaze, she focused her eyes out the carriage window. “Everything went so well. Perhaps a bit too well. I’m worried. Is this path really the right one? Have I overlooked something crucial?”
“The purpose of this visit is to sow seeds, so to speak,” Clovis answered after a long moment. “Agriculture involves plowing the ground, sowing seeds, growing them, and reaping the crop. If mistakes were made, we just adapt as we go along. Whether our efforts will bear good fruit is up to us.”
“…You’re right.” The tension eased in Alicia. “Fretting will only waste time. We have to forge our path little by little, working towards the future we dream of.”
“It’ll be fine. Your Highness has the power to make it happen.”
“You and me together, right?”
Alicia smiled as she finally turned to gaze at her adviser, the sunlight streaming through the window highlighting her profile. Clovis held his breath at the sight, his eyes narrowing, before he frowned and looked away.
“What’s the matter?” she asked sadly.
“I apologize… Maybe I’m a little tired,” he muttered with a bitter sigh.
Pain coursed through Alicia’s chest as she remembered. She’d ignored the issue under the guise of being too busy, but her relationship with Clovis had been stuck in an awkward rut since that night. Each time she felt them getting closer again, Clovis would erect a thick wall to keep Alicia at arm’s length.
Even now, he sat facing the window, chin in hand, to hide his expression from her. She couldn’t see his eyes, only his thin lips, but he didn’t say anything else.
For the first time, anger at Clovis bubbled in Alicia’s heart.
It was true that their relationship as mistress and subject had wavered that night when Clovis almost stole her first kiss. And while the incident left her confused, there was also a small but warm happiness growing inside her.
Clovis, on the other hand, had willfully kept up his adviser persona as if trying to repair the crumbling boundary between them, drawing it deeper and wider than ever before.
If he didn’t want her that way, what was that night all about?
What was she to do with the happiness within her?
“…You’re not being fair, but neither am I,” she whispered.
She heard the rustling of clothes, signaling that Clovis had turned to face her, but Alicia kept her face down, refusing to meet his eyes. She clasped her hands tightly together in her lap.
“I know you’ve been avoiding me these last few days and that something has upset you. After all, I’ve known you so well for so many years, but it feels so lonely. I’m the mistress, and you’re my subject, but we’re more than that, aren’t we? Isn’t there something different…something much stronger between us?”
Her fingers gripped the fabric of her dress as her vision blurred, but before the tears could fall, a warm hand moved to cover hers. Lifting her head, she saw Clovis with a serious expression on his face.
The carriage continued moving as sunlight filtered through the foliage, the rays gently illuminating his smooth porcelain cheeks, casting them in shadow. She could see the slight flush on them and the nervousness in his violet eyes.
“It’s been bothering me all this while. I’m just a mere adviser. To have these feelings…to be so troubled by them is unforgivable,” he whispered with a frown. “But I was wrong. I was so caught up in worry that I’d forgotten the most important thing… And I’ve made you upset.”
“Clovis…?”
“…I love you.”
Time stopped.
She’d longed to hear those words—her hope that she was special to him becoming a reality—but Alicia was still stunned. She had to say something, but she didn’t know what, and the more she panicked, the more useless her mind became.
Clovis, though, didn’t wait for her response, intertwining their fingers instead. Many years had passed since they’d first held hands, but his was still much larger.
He frowned as Alicia stared at him, her mind a total blank. Then he smiled, not as the loyal, talented, perfect adviser, but as a man whose heart had been burned.
“I love you, Alicia. Only you.”
“I…”
Her heart was racing, and her chest was tight.
Me too; she wanted to scream. I love you too, Clovis.
But her sky-blue eyes wavered with doubt. The thoughts that troubled her and reduced her to a coward surfaced one by one. She’d been hiding her feelings for so long that she couldn’t even remember when she was free of them.
…And now they won out again.
“In my previous life, Heilland was reduced to ruin because of my love. It may very well happen again,” she confessed her fears.
“I won’t let it,” he vowed. “If you choose the wrong path, I’ll do my best to guide you back.”
“But I’m the princess. Doesn’t that deter you?”
“We can work through it. I’m good at coming up with ideas and strategies.”
“We’ll incur Erdal’s displeasure, and then…”
Alicia’s voice trailed off. She couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought.
But then Clovis pulled her close, and before she knew it, there was a gentle touch on her lips. Her mind blanked out again as she stared at Clovis, pulling back. For a brief moment, his violet eyes, more beautiful than any gem, seemed to hold all the answers. Then he bent down, and this kiss was deeper and more passionate than the last.
Alicia’s whole body felt numb from the dizzying sweetness that spread from their joined lips.
“Do you have any more excuses?”
Clovis rested his forehead against hers, his hands unusually hot as they cradled her face with reverence. It was all new to Alicia, but it didn’t feel strange, and she felt no desire to escape or pull away.
“…First, I’ll make you fall for me so deeply that you’ll be willing to risk everything,” he said in a husky voice. “So please be prepared. I won’t run away from you any longer.”
“…Idiot,” Alicia muttered, burying her face in his shoulder. “You’re really such an idiot. To think you’ve been avoiding me all this while.”
“Yes. I’m an idiot,” Clovis whispered back, holding Alicia tight as if making up for all the lost time. “The biggest idiot of all, but if that means I can make you mine, then I don’t mind being an idiot.”
Alicia’s face burned, and as if that wasn’t enough, Clovis turned to plant a kiss on her ear, making her flinch.
“So?” Another kiss to the ear. “What is your answer, Alicia? You haven’t said anything yet.”
“H-Huh?!”
Alicia’s voice was screechy, completely at odds with her noble status as the Blue Rose Princess of Heilland. Thankfully, there was no one to hear her but Clovis, whose cheeks were red as he gazed happily at her.
“M-My answer? Haven’t you already guessed it?!”
“No.” Clovis shook his head, his expression serious. “I’m an idiot, remember? So, please enlighten me.”
Alicia averted her eyes from his pleading gaze, her cheeks flaming as she muttered words that made no sense. Her sky-blue eyes filled with tears of embarrassment and conflict, which almost made Clovis relent.
Ten seconds passed, or maybe more, before she finally threw her arms around his neck, lips pressed against his ear, to whisper her confession.
Clovis’s almond-shaped eyes widened before a satisfied, blissful smile graced his lips.