Chapter 99

Epilogue I go outside with Lammis, and we sit down in the town square near the inn. I’ve been let off her back and placed next to her. The sky in the Dead’s Lament stratum is dark again today—the weather looking dismal, as usual. “I’m happy everyone’s safe, but this is still hard.” “Welcome.” Maybe we should celebrate everybody making it through such a strong enemy with their lives, but in the midst of all our comrades getting hurt and falling, I’m reminded that the only thing we could do was run away. I was confident I was helping everyone by being a little convenient and increasing my stats, but that confidence has faded after what happened. When all’s said and done, I’m a vending machine. I can protect with Force Field, but that’s it. I have neither the hands to hold a weapon nor the feet to run into battle with them. I leave all the striking to Lammis, too, while I just use Force Field. I had mistakenly thought that was enough to be of assistance to them. “Too bad.” My voice unconsciously comes out. “Boxxo, you’re not thinking it’s your fault everyone got hurt or anything, are you?” Lammis’s words rattle me, and my vending machine lights flicker off for just a moment. I don’t know how much my lights blinking conveys my emotional ups and downs, but she can’t read my mind. Yet, she still guessed what I was thinking and asked me about it. How is she able to nail down what an inorganic machine is thinking? “Welcome.” “But it wasn’t! That’s not true!” Lammis claps her hands around my body and pushes her forehead right up to me. Her teary eyes are lifted upward a little, and her mouth is tightly shut in apparent frustration. Is she angry… No, is she sad for me? “It’s ’cause o’ you I’m safe, Boxxo,” she says in her accent. “Hulemy and Shui, too. You saved ’em! So don’t go thinkin’ those sad thoughts…” She’s crying for me—for a vending machine. I must be the worst man alive to make such a cute girl cry. Lammis is the best partner I could ask for. As her partner for life, I can do plenty of other things that are better than being depressed. “Oh. I wanted to give some encouragement, too, but I guess I don’t need to.” I hear a voice behind me, so I look over. Director Bear has carried Hulemy here princess-style. She just got revived from cardiac arrest—she should need absolute quiet bed rest right now. Is it all right for her to be up? “Hulemy, how are you feeling?!” “I feel fine, but I can’t quite muster the energy for much. I talked the director into carrying me. I had to give my thanks… Thank you, Boxxo.” Still in the director’s arms, she gives a smile, but it’s weaker than usual. Her physical state is probably far from perfect. “Welcome.” “I can’t help out in battle, but I don’t think I’m useless. I could never compete in strength with Lammis, and Mishuel and Captain Kerioyl are better at fighting than I’ll ever be. Oh, and the director is strong, too, right? Plus, we have Vice Captain Filmina for magic power. But when it comes to my skill as a magic-item engineer, I think I have everyone else beat!” “That’s right. You’re handy and smart.” Lammis nods in vehement agreement. I feel the same way. I’ve never once thought you were useless, Hulemy. “It’s the same for you, Boxxo. You may not be able to move by yourself or fight, but you can make food and drinks, and you even have Force Field. If you start whining now that you’re not strong enough, you’re gonna get punched. No, I’ll have Lammis punch you as hard as she can!” “Too bad.” I’m sorry. Please spare me that. I won’t get depressed anymore. After hearing my response, Lammis and Hulemy exchange glances and break out into grins. “We’re the ones who should be down in the dumps here, not Boxxo.” “My own inexperience… I’m truly pathetic.” Captain Kerioyl and Mishuel break into the conversation. Their faces still don’t look great, but they participated in the council, so they’ve probably recovered enough so that they have no obstacles to daily life. They walk over to us with firm gaits. Behind them are the rest of the Menagerie of Fools, as well as the Band of Gluttons. Their wounds are all closed, but their exhausted stamina won’t return immediately, so their steps are unsteady. Still, even wobbling, they walk under their own power. Vice Captain Filmina, who didn’t take part in the battle, is waiting in the back, worried about her comrades. They were all supposed to be having total rest. Why are they out here? “These guys wanted to thank you, too, Boxxo,” says Captain Kerioyl, prompting everyone to give me a hard, serious stare, then all smile at once. “You’ve saved the captain and our members, Mr. Boxxo. As vice captain, you have my gratitude.” “Seriously, thanks. I already decided that when I die, it’ll be resting my head on a beautiful woman’s lap!” “Right! Thanks to you, we don’t have to call off that dream!” Vice Captain Filmina bows deeply, and the red-and-white twins give me thumbs-ups with their right hands and wink. “As the leader, let me say thank you, Boxxo.” “Yeah, you saved us.” “Now we can eat as much fried meat as we can stomach.” “All you think about is food, Pell. You have to say thank you, okay?” The Band of Gluttons all stand shoulder to shoulder, holding one another up. Personally, just seeing you do something so adorable is the best thanks I could hope for. “You saved me when I was about to die, right? Thanks, Boxxo.” Shui, propped up on the red-and-white twins’ shoulders, leaves them and jumps at me, practically falling into me. She hugs me and then gives my body a kiss. “It’s not much, but here’s my thanks!” As I stand there baffled, she blushes a little and gives a mischievous grin. “Huh?! What are you doing, Shui?!” “L-look, you…” Lammis comes over and peels Shui off. They seem to argue with each other, but Hulemy slides smoothly in front of me and stares at the place Shui’s lips touched. “Guess I have to thank you, too,” she says, gently pressing her lips to me like Shui did. “Ahhhhh, Hulemy, not you too!” Gripped under the arms, Hulemy is easily carried away. She sets her down right next to Shui. Lammis’s cheek is puffed out. She must be complaining to them. To think I’d be kissed by two people. Maybe this world is less like Japan and more like overseas countries, where kisses are a form of light greeting. Even so, as a man, it makes me happy. “I swear… And you look pretty happy, too, Boxxo!” Lammis stands in front of me, pouting. She must have finished her lecturing. “Don’t get it twisted,” she continues, slipping into her accent again. “That was just affection and gratitude. It’s not like they’re sweet on ya or anything!” Yes, I’m fully aware. “I can’t believe they went and did a fool thing like that…” If her accent came out, that means she’s rattled. “That’s not just something you can up and do. Uh, but if it’s as thanks, then there ain’t no harm in me doin’ it, too, right? Y-yeah, I’ve gotta show proper thanks, like Ma always told me.” H-hold on, Lammis? Her face flushes bright red as she wraps me in a tight embrace, straightening up and bringing her face closer. Ohhhh, h-her face, her lips are just barely— “N-nope, I can’t do it after all! I’m comin’ down with a case of the vapors!” She dug in at the last moment. Her face is so red I can almost see steam rising from her ears. Whew, that surprised me. To be honest, I’m also a little disappointed, but this outcome is more like Lammis, right? So I tell myself, with a sigh of relief, but… “Come on. Your self-consciousness isn’t doing you any good, as usual.” “You just gotta get it over with.” Hulemy and Shui go behind Lammis, and smiles appear on their lips before they give Lammis a push on the back. “Huh? Mmm—” Losing her balance, Lammis falls forward, and her soft pink lips press firmly against me. Urgh. If I had a sense of touch, I’d be happier. But I’m happy enough with this. She’s making me blush. “Eh, I, wh-what was that, Hulemy? Shui?!” Lammis panics, turns around, and closes in on them. If I had a physical body, I’d probably have a blissful smile on my face. Those depressing feelings are nowhere to be found now. If I were a normal human with arms and legs, we’d probably be able to have more fun together. But this body is how I’m helping everyone. I’ve been reborn in another world. In that case, I just have to do what I can as a vending machine.