Chapter 82

The Victor and the Reward Preparations for the play look finished, so I’ll sit up straight—although, with my spine, er, body, always positioned completely upright, I should be fine. I’ll just stand here quietly so I don’t interfere with the performance. “Why, if it ain’t Boxxo. What are you doing over here?” “I’ll have some cold tea today.” But I didn’t think the pair of gatekeepers would arrive at that exact moment. With the play about to start, I don’t want to make noise, so I’ll show off a silencing effect using the item-dropping technique I’ve mastered. With the gentleness of a mother laying her baby down in a crib, I quietly place the items in my compartment. Great, it made almost no noise. People—well, vending machines—can do it if they try. “What was on the program again?” “Um, I think it was…” Wait, are Karios and Gorth here to see the play, too? Keeping our voices down so we don’t disturb others and trading impressions could be fun. Personally, I’m all for it. “According to the schedule they passed out before…it’s apparently called The Farm That Calls Happiness. Never heard of it.” What’s a farm that calls happiness? I can’t even begin to guess. If even the well-informed Hulemy doesn’t know what it is, does that make it some obscure story or a complete original? The tale will probably be about a farm. A beautiful girl working her hardest to cultivate the fields, passing out the vegetables she raises, and making everyone happy—something like that. I would have preferred a more otherworld-like sensational action movie. If there’s a romance involved, I’m not confident I’ll keep watching. Maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up too much. “Well, we’ll know when we see it. Oh—looks like it’s starting.” You’re right. There’s no point thinking about what it will be before seeing it. Time to enjoy it as just another member of the audience. “That was, well, unexpected in a lot of ways…” “So they did that, and then that happened…” “Yup, it was definitely a farm that called happiness. Oh, but it didn’t really call it, it just kind of came to it…” Everyone trades various impressions, amazement plain on their faces. My honest opinion is that it was impressively otherworld-like. That sums it up. I can’t believe the main character wasn’t a person but the farm. My general view is that it was interesting, but it wasn’t for everyone. The performance was high quality, too, so if the same troupe does a different play sometime, I’d like to see it. “Wait, this is no time for being flabbergasted. Lammis, you’re in the finals, right?” “Oh, that’s right! Boxxo, let’s go!” “Welcome.” Lammis bounces me onto her back and carries me away. “Do your best, Lammis! We’re rooting for you!” “Don’t overdo it.” “Show them a woman’s pride!” As the three send words of support after her, Lammis raises a fist in the air. Unfortunately, she’s carrying a vending machine, so she can’t see Hulemy and the others. With a breakaway sprint, she places me on the stage’s corner, then runs off to where the contestants are waiting. I get that she’s in a hurry, but she needs to be careful she doesn’t trip in her haste. “Ahh, I-I’m sorry!” A crash and a cry reach me, but I’ll pretend I didn’t hear. The stage preparations finish, and the emcee, Munami, steps out once again. It looks like the finals are about to begin. The audience seats are only about 60 percent full, which is a little on the empty side. Maybe the first half of the contest was satisfying enough for a lot of people. I’d like things to be more exciting to attract more people. Do I have any way to gather people here? Isn’t there anything I can do? It would be nice if there was a useful feature for it. I scan the list of additional features I got after becoming Rank 2, then spot an interesting one. If I use it, it should draw people in and get the place excited. From my features list, I choose Jukebox and activate it. “Now, will the contestants enter the stage?” Most of the audience is paying attention to emcee Munami, so nobody seems to notice my quiet change. I grow smaller than my usual vending machine form, and my edges take on a familiar roundness. Two thick, plastic, fluorescent light–like things are installed on my body’s framework, which shine with a yellow light. Inside me, I can feel several hundred records in place of my usual food and beverages. You used to be able to find this machine in cafés and bars, and you could put a coin in to listen to your favorite song. For anyone in their twenties to their forties, though, the jukeboxes in bowling alleys where you can play brand-new songs are probably more familiar. By the way, jukeboxes are perfectly fine vending machines, but most people probably don’t think of them that way. Of course, as a vending machine maniac, every time I’d see one I’d have it play something for me. The reason I purposely chose an old type rather than a brand-new model is because it’s full of classic music. “Huh? Where’s this song coming from?” The audience fortunately seems to think it’s part of the show, but Munami and the other organizers are at a loss. Still, Munami pushes forward without panicking or making a fuss, impressing me with her composure. I cast my worries to the wind and decide to provide some acoustics. Munami’s coping skills must have been honed by real-life events. “Is everyone excited?! This is the end, whether it makes you cry or smile. All the participants, please eat your hearts out!” Pumped up by the background music, Munami is bursting with energy. In that case, in order to not fall behind, I’ll chose an exciting song with a faster tempo. “The finals will be decided by how much you can eat within the time limit! Surpass your limits and open the door to a new world… Let the finals begin!” As she makes her announcement, I change the song. I play one often heard for the relay race or footraces at sports days. Whenever I hear it, it really lifts my emotions. It looks like the contestants are eating quite a bit faster, too. I do feel like I overexcited them a little, but there are people standing by with healing-type magic and Blessings, so the absolute worst won’t happen. It’s still only just begun, but as expected, the vacuum girl, Shui, and the Band of Gluttons have jumped out ahead right from the start. Lammis doesn’t have the same momentum as before—she seems to be enjoying her food at a slower pace. The fried meat lined up in front of the five potential champions continues to be gulped down like air. The culinary spectacle of multiple pieces disappearing every second is in its own dimension at this point. That contest area is turning into a small black hole. “Yeaaahhh! Keep it up, short-haired girl!” “You can do it, Gluttons!” Impassioned shouts of support fly at Shui and the Band of Gluttons. I get it—watching how they eat makes you want to cheer them on. The other members seem to understand they can’t beat those five, but they keep eating, not wanting to be outdone. Once the five put down the fried meat, the next course consists of crepes so gigantic you could easily wrap a baby in one. For the finals, the plan was to serve a mountain of fried meat first and then have giant crepes waiting for anyone who managed to finish. A sweet follow-up attack when your stomach is already bulging. I think this contest is made to break both your stomach and your mind. Incidentally, the crepes are stuffed to a ridiculous degree with apples and bananas I provided. To give them apples, I turned into an apple vending machine, and for bananas, a banana-specific vending machine. They’re both items I enjoyed purchasing in my former life. There is a fruit version of the vegetable vending machine, too, but I want you to understand that there’s no way I wasn’t going to go for the more specific ones. By the way, I found the apple vending machines on the second floor of New Osaka Station. Not only did they have sliced apples; there were versions for chocolate-, honey-, and caramel-covered ones, too. I remember being delighted at the wide variety. The men competing take one look at the giant crepes and make a face, but the women’s eyes light up. “Ngh—sweets! And they look mighty tasty, too!” Lammis, you’re slipping into your accent. “May we have them as well?” Next to her, I swear I see Acowi’s eyes glimmer, deep behind her glasses. You may be wondering why the women are overreacting to something so sweet. One part of it is that many women enjoy sweet foods to begin with, but it’s also because sugar and fruit are precious in this world. This stratum can provide sweet things for cheap (thanks to me), and it seems like paradise for women and certain men who enjoy sweet foods. I’ve even heard a rumor that recently, some laborers and hunters came to stay in Clearflow Lake for work because they had their eyes on that. Lammis’s and Acowi’s eating speeds visibly increase. At this rate, they should be able to finish the fried meat. Shui has cream stuck all over her mouth as she devours the crepes with a full smile. Is she going even harder than she was with the fried meat…? Her nickname, the Inhaler, is no joke. Wow, she’s already tripled her speed. “That girl is nutso. And she looks like she loves the damn stuff.” “Just watching her is making me hungry. I’ll go grab something from a stall.” “Get something for me, too. I want meat and sweets!” Incited by Shui, many of those in the audience buy some extra food. It’s only natural that seeing someone eat so happily would whet your appetite. Oh, and as for the current situation: The males in the Band of Gluttons have opened their crepes and are eating the fruit out of the inside first. The lone female in their group, Suco, is just gobbling them down normally, though. At this pace, it’ll be a one-on-one between Shui and Suco. I check the hourglass; about 70 percent of the sand is gone. The men are essentially destroyed, and even the males in the Band of Gluttons are struggling with the cream and the crepe dough. Ah, Lammis and Acowi have finished off the fried meat. Now they’re enjoying the crepes with blissful expressions. They’ve completely put the contest aside and moved into their after-meal teatime. From what it looks like, Shui and Suco are evenly matched. If they keep going like this, they might even finish the giant crepes before time is up. With the organizers’ fervent gazes upon them, one fork-holding hand flies valiantly into the air before all the sand in the hourglass falls. “Yeah, I’m finished!” With cream all over her mouth, Shui grins in satisfaction. It’s nothing short of incredible. The amount of food that disappeared into her stomach seemed like over half her body’s volume, but I’ll chalk that up to the secrets of a woman’s body. It’ll be my loss if I think about it too deeply. “Yeaaaaahhhhh! You’re really somethin’, miss!” “You beat the Band of Gluttons?! Congratulations!”