Chapter 67

When I look down, I end up staring the skeleton in the face as it tries to clamber out of the hole. It will fall into the hole if it lets go, and a vending machine is now falling toward it from directly above. Let go to bat me away, or take the hit? The Flame Skeletitan hesitates for an instant—at the cost of its life. It must not have been able to make up its mind, because I strike it square in the forehead, my vending machine body easily shattering its skull. It was fortunate I struck at the right angle. After smashing the skull, my body destroys its throat, its rib cage, and its hip bone before plummeting to the ground. [12 damage. Durability decreased by 12.] The damage is less than I thought, probably because crashing through all the bones broke my fall. A third of my body ends up buried in the ground, which looks pretty uncool, but all’s well that ends well. Bone fragments clatter down from above in a rain. Looks like I finished it off properly. All is well. “Boxxooo! Why are you always so reckless?! I’m coming down now, so wait a second!” Lammis is infuriated. She seems like she’ll descend right this second. Wait, it’s still filled with carbon dioxide down here, so I’ll change into an oxygen vending machine and release oxygen. “Too bad. Too bad. Too bad.” I say Too bad several times in a row to warn her away, but she doesn’t seem to have a mind to listen as she throws a rope down from above the hole. I’ll continue my high-speed oxygen flood! My constant shouting seems to have an effect, though, and Lammis hesitates to descend. Maybe people around her stopped her. “Boxxo! Do you mean it’s still dangerous down there?” “Welcome,” I respond immediately to Hulemy’s question. Times like these make me thankful she’s around. Lammis is quick on the uptake, too, but as soon as I’m involved, she gets reckless. I’m glad she’s worried, but I wish she’d worry about herself a little more. Of course, I guess I’m not one to talk. Come to think of it, we defeated the stratum lord, so wouldn’t there be a coin dropped somewhere nearby? Oh, there it is. Like last time, I use my coin-operated vacuum cleaner and manage to adjust it to suck up the coin. The item Flame Skeletitan Coin is added to my inventory. Now I just have to keep expelling oxygen for a while… Wait, if oxygen is lighter than carbon dioxide, it wouldn’t mass on the bottom of the hole. In that case, it’s time to show everyone how I survived that stratum split. I create a load of balloons, and when my Force Field is full of them, I become a cardboard vending machine. My body is enveloped in a floaty feeling, and I start to flutter upward. Since I’m inside carbon dioxide right now, I think the relative weight is making it easier to float. I rise more quickly than I thought I would. After getting a bit more than halfway up the hole, my speed decreases dramatically. That must be the line under which the carbon dioxide is filling. I made more balloons than last time, so my body still manages to go up. “Um, Boxxo?” “Welcome.” I was worried I wouldn’t be able to speak as cardboard, but it seems fine. Well, the other vending machines can’t replay voices, either, yet I could talk now. “Mikenne, close the hole, please.” “Yes, sir.” At Director Bear’s order, the hole’s cover closes. I turn off the Force Field, release the balloons, and land. Then I return to my usual form and breathe a sigh of relief…when a shadow falls over me. I have a bad feeling about this. I don’t want to look, but I can’t pretend not to know, so I reluctantly look ahead. Lammis has her hands on her hips. She’s leaning forward and puffing out her cheeks. Yep, no mistake. She’s mad. “Boxxo, what would you have done if you broke?” Her gentle voice is, conversely, scary. “Get one free with a winner.” “Don’t beat around the bush. I’m steamin’ mad right now!” Yikes. When she gets riled up, her accent comes out. I’ll just shut up now. I don’t have the conversational skill to persuade women anyway, so with the voice data I have now, nothing I can say will change it. That, however, was a foolish idea, I think to myself an hour later when her lecture ends. At first, she was angry, but then it evolved into her complaining and saying how worried she was. It continued until eventually Hulemy can’t bear to watch anymore and stops her. “Lammis, leave it at that. If you blame him too much, he won’t like you anymore.” “Aw. Okay, I’ll stop here. Just don’t do anything reckless ever again, okay?” I answer her entreaty with silence. I don’t want to lie to her, so I can’t answer her. If we encounter a situation where I can save everyone, I would probably do the same thing. She doesn’t grow angry at my attitude, though. Instead, she gives a pained grin. Almost like she can read my mind, and she’s fed up with the result. “Is your talk over? I have a question as well. Do you mind?” Captain Kerioyl, evidently having watched for the right timing to speak up, lets his finger crawl over his hat brim and walks over. “Good work again, Boxxo. Did a coin drop from the stratum lord at the bottom of the hole?” “Welcome.” “Oh, great. We should go down and get it.” I guess I’ll give them the coin I picked up. Um, how should I do it? I look at the Flame Skeletitan Coin entry in my inventory, then will it outside… “Whoa, you got it for us!” The coin falls to the ground in front of me just like I wanted it to. The captain doesn’t hesitate to bend over for it, but an outstretched hand grabs his arm from the side. “What’s this about, Hulemy?” “You seem to be trying to take it as though it’s yours. But Boxxo is the one who beat the Flame Skeletitan and picked up the coin. You don’t have ownership of it.” Her argument is correct, but I don’t really care either way. Still, maybe it’s better to do these things properly than make friends. “Right, my bad. It’s true—because of all you did, we pulled through. Without a doubt, it’s Boxxo’s right to take it. Instead, I’d like to buy it from you. How does a hundred gold coins sound?” You can’t give a that kind of price with such a carefree tone. A hundred gold coins converted to points is a hundred thousand. Wait, that’s a ridiculous fortune! Lammis seems just as surprised as I am, looking between the coin and me with wide, round eyes. Hulemy doesn’t seem particularly shocked, and she glances over at Director Bear, who has settled in as an observer. “Hmm,” he says. “The market price for stratum lord coins certainly is around there.” “See, Boxxo? What do you say?” In that case, no problem—in fact, that would be great. I’ve already secured one stratum lord coin, so I don’t need any more. “Welcome.” “I knew you’d understand, Boxxo. This will be quick. You don’t mind if we pay at a later date, right? We can’t exactly walk around with riches like that.” The deal is made, and the coin becomes theirs. Captain Kerioyl plucks the coin and holds it up to the light, and after looking at it closely, he tosses it into a bag at his waist. Well, then. All we need to do now is return to the Clearflow Lake stratum. My time in the maze stratum has ended with only a bird’s-eye view and the main passage, but I don’t think I’ll ever be coming here again.