I walked into my room, over to the corner with the plushies and sewing tools, and crouched down. My CDs weren’t on the bookshelf; I kept them in a flower-print shoebox.
“Wait, where are they?”
I looked around for the box. It occurred to me I might have left it on my desk, so I started to straighten up…but then I spotted my pink teddy bear. He was dressed up like a pirate, complete with bandana and eyepatch, and I had cherished him since I was a kid.
“Oh, his tummy stitching is coming loose…”
Tempted to fix it, I reached out and grabbed him. Then, as I sat him on my lap, I saw something else poking out through the seam—something that looked like a scrap of paper. Gently, I pinched it between my fingers and pulled it out. Sure enough, it was an old, yellowed piece of paper; I unfolded it to find the clumsy writing of a child.
To Himari: We’ll always love you. Love, your big brothers.
“Big brothers?”
Who could that be? It felt like a vise clamped down on my heart. I had no recollection of any brothers.
“Himari-chan?” a voice called from behind me. I looked over my shoulder to find Ringo-chan standing there, her eyes wide. “What’s wrong?”
“Look at this.” The next thing I knew, I was crying, but I couldn’t explain why. Instead, I looked back down at the little note in my hand. “This is so bizarre… What’s gotten into me…?”
“What’s going on? Himari-chan, are you okay?” Ringo-chan rushed over to me, crouched down beside me, and pulled me into a hug.
“I don’t get it…” Tears kept rolling down my face, and I started to sob. “Why am I crying…?”
“It’s all right. I’m right here with you,” she told me reassuringly, like a big sister.
“Yeah, I know… I’m sorry, Ringo-chan.” Confused, I buried my face in her shoulder.
“It’s okay.” She stroked my hair softly, over and over. “We’ll always be together.”
Naturally, this made me cry even harder.
I really appreciated my life with my aunt and uncle, and I appreciated that Ringo-chan was a part of it. I was happy being a fan of Double H, and getting better at making curry. And I loved my pink teddy bear and the mystery note that was hiding inside him. I loved the word “fate,” and I believed from the bottom of my heart that I would never have to be alone.
Two young boys walked down the street, admiring the falling cherry blossom petals.
“No, see, the apple represents the whole universe, sitting right in the palm of your hand. It’s the bridge between our world and the other world,” said the first boy, a hint of exasperation in his voice, shielding his sharp eyes from the rays of sunlight streaming down through the branches of the cherry blossom trees.
“What other world?” asked the second, tilting his head as he plucked the petals off of his messy, wavy hair.
“The one Giovanni and Campanella and all the other passengers are going to,” the first replied matter-of-factly, looking back at him.
“Okay, but where is it?” the second boy demanded, looking over his shoulder. Two chubby male penguins with round button eyes waddled after them.
“It’s the place where all life comes from. And Campanella’s mom is there, too.”
The two penguins turned around and beckoned behind them to two more penguins, who rushed out from between the cherry blossom trees to join up with the rest of the group. The third penguin had sparkly eyes and was wearing a ribbon on its head; the fourth looked at the third with aloof, upturned eyes, then took her by the flipper and started waddling.
“But what does that have to do with apples?” asked the messy-haired boy, smiling at the third penguin.
“The apples are a gift from God,” the other boy declared smugly.
The messy-haired boy scowled. “That makes no sense.”
“In other words, they’re a reward for the passengers who chose to die for love.”
“But that’s pointless. Once you die, your life is over.”
“No it’s not, dumbo. It’s just the beginning. That’s what Kenji’s trying to say.”
Just then, a strong wind blew past, and an avalanche of cherry blossom petals cascaded down upon the group.
“So where do we go from here?” the messy-haired boy asked, stopping to dust the petals from his hair with both hands.
“I dunno. Where do you wanna go? This is where it starts.”
The other boy looked at the penguins following them and smirked. At some point the procession had grown, and now four petal-covered birds trailed them, all in a row.
There will be no more getting angry, or getting sad, or standing still. The two children will surely surpass time and space to revel in the freedom of joy and despair. They can go anywhere they want to go, or see anyone they want to see; they can celebrate their perpetual motion by singing at the top of their lungs. Supposing they did, the penguins would surely join in, their shrill little voices like that of four steam whistles.
Eventually the pale pink petals will become countless shining stars. Together with the big, bright moon, they will shine down gently upon everything worthy of love. The girl’s tears will dry, and she’ll fall fast asleep in a warm bed.
Rest assured, there’s nothing to cry about. This journey will take us into the night sky, which means it will surely be a good one. And even if something bad does happen, we’ll put our heads together and find a solution. That’s what knowledge and language is for—to help us find happiness. At least, that’s what we have to believe.
So what’s the difference between life and the endless bounds of space? The fact that we existed lies within the never-ending cycle of life and death, fated never to disappear for almost eternity. See there, in that child’s heart? Those memories will bear fruit and grant the power to imagine a new universe. Really, there’s nothing to cry about. This is probably what love is.
Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose faith. Just look right into that person’s eyes and tell them you love them, again and again, as many times as it takes to reach them.
THE END