“Hey, I bet you have one, too. You should look!”
“I don’t,” I replied without missing a beat. “You’ve been chosen, Kanba.”
“Chosen? By who? For what?”
“They’ve decided that you’re the one who’s going to survive. So I guess you better keep that promise, okay? Pass on a message to the person I love. I just can’t think of what to say yet.”
It was a stunning revelation, but I didn’t feel like crying or mourning. At some point, we came to believe that it was normal for humans to be filtered into different categories. I couldn’t remember where I learned this, but even though I hated it, a part of me was ready to accept it anyway.
“Okay. Sorry… I guess this is fate.”
Was that how fate shaped our lives—shaped the world? Were we destined to wait for death without ever breaking out of the box?
We froze, unmoving, just glaring at each other. I could relate to Kanba’s desire to save Himari; even in that very moment, I was pretty sure I understood how he must have felt. But why did it have to involve throwing in his lot with Watase Sanetoshi and KIGA? Was Sanetoshi really a ghost? Was he once human?
“You still don’t get it? The sky above him was always dark, and we humans need light,” Sanetoshi sighed, bored. “Now that he’s finally found a ray of hope, it’s the only thing that gives his life meaning.”
Was he talking about Himari? If so, then we had something in common.
“Right now, the world is trying to take that light from him. And you’re taking their side, casting him into the abyss and leaving him to die.”
“No! I wouldn’t do that!”
Not once had I ever wanted to steal from Kanba. Regardless of whether his light was Himari or something else entirely, I never contemplated taking it for myself, much less abandoning him.
“Kanba!”
I called his name, but he didn’t answer. Maybe we took him for granted. We were together for years, but how well did I really know him? Maybe I’d hurt him without realizing. Was this my punishment?
“I’m the only one who can save him. I can give him enough power to reach the light. What can you give him?” Sanetoshi raised his eyebrows, scoffing at me.
“What can I…give Kanba…?”
Nothing, I thought to myself. Watase Sanetoshi wasn’t talking about cooking him dinner or ironing his shirts or nagging him or helping him with his homework. He was talking about something bigger—something life changing. I couldn’t give him anything like that; I didn’t have anything like that. Had I lived my whole life dumping my sins on Kanba’s shoulders?
Just then, the train of fate came to a sudden stop. Thrown off-balance, I let out a yelp. When I looked out the window, I could see the perfectly ordinary Yotsuya Station platform… I was running out of time.
“Oginome-san!”
She staggered onto the train, wearing a badly charred school uniform, and glared at Sanetoshi. She had a cut on her cheek, and her glossy hair was slightly tousled.
“I’m going to save Himari-chan! It’s my destiny!” Her eyes shone ever more defiantly from beneath her thick bangs.
“Oginome-san, what are you doing here?”
She was supposed to go to my house to pick up some clothes for us, but then she never showed up at the hospital. Rest assured, I hadn’t forgotten that little detail. But I really wasn’t expecting to see her on this train.
“I’m here to transfer Himari-chan’s fate. I’ll use the spell from the diary and save her life.” Her face in profile exuded strength, determination, and dignity.
I remembered Yuri-san talking about the “transfer of fate” at some point in the past. But even if it was truly possible, we didn’t have the diary.
“I see someone’s a hard worker.” Sanetoshi smirked faintly. “But how will you do that now that the diary’s been burned to ash? You don’t know the spell—the most important words Momoka-chan left behind.”
Sanetoshi seemed to be having the time of his life. He looked at Oginome-san with full confidence that he was going to succeed.
“Oh, I know them. I know the most important words. And I’m gonna take a gamble!”
I thought back to the time I found Oginome-san chatting with Double H outside my house. We named the album after the words that always meant the most to her, the pop star duo had said. Then they gave Oginome-san their new CD and walked off.
I didn’t know the words that meant the most to Himari. Or maybe I simply didn’t know enough about her, or Kanba, or myself, or the world around us. Still, my only choice was to keep living. Was that not enough?
“Do you? Are you sure? If you recite the incantation, you’ll pay the price, you know. The flames of the curse will consume you, and you’ll cease to exist.” Sanetoshi scrutinized my expression, then Oginome-san’s, endlessly amused. “Aren’t you frightened?”
“If it means I can save someone I love, then I’m willing to accept my punishment!” she declared, unwavering. And in that moment, she was beautiful.
“No! Stop! We’re the ones who should take the punishment!”
“Shoma-kun…” She looked at me sadly.
“Right, Kanba? Kanba!”
I turned back to my brother standing beside Sanetoshi. He wasn’t looking at us, but rather, slightly lower. Contained within those glass marbles was a deep abyss, endless like space itself…and reminiscent of Sanetoshi’s. His star-studded gaze flew right past us.
“This was always our fate. We Takakura siblings have been cursed by our past…ever since we first met all those years ago.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! That’s not true!” Oginome-san shouted.
“It’s okay. I finally understand why I didn’t die back there… It was all for this moment.” I smiled at her, then turned to my brother. “Kanba, I’m going to get you back. Even if it costs me everything!”
Even if it meant going against the rules of our pure biosphere.
But right as Kanba finally glanced in my direction—
“Survival Tactiiiic!”
“Huh?” Stupidly, I belatedly realized I was no longer holding the penguin hat. “Where’s the hat?!”
A gust of wind shot straight through the subway—so hard, it took my breath away. Suddenly, my vision was obscured with white lace and frills…sparkly buttons…waves of adorable ribbons…and the smell of Himari’s shampoo. It was all so overwhelming, I could barely stand; crouching down low, I cradled my head in my arms. But though I was startled, I wasn’t frightened in the least.
Soap bubbles and the sound of someone humming. A yellow star reminiscent of a Christmas decoration. The soft tinkling of a music box. Brightly colored balls of yarn. The smell of chocolate and vanilla essence. Smiling, I blinked back tears. As far as I could tell, this wasn’t the work of that foul-mouthed queen. This was a space Himari had created—I was sure of it almost instantly.
The wind softened, and I straightened up. Sure enough, I could see none other than Himari herself, walking out from between the folds of white fabric. She was wearing the penguin hat, but her eyes weren’t glowing red. Then the frills on the collar, sleeves, and hem of her white nightgown began to puff up even larger. Slowly, she examined her own handiwork.
“Kan-chan,” she murmured. At this, the decadent frills of her nightgown stretched straight down to the uneven white fabric floor, creating a path. I followed her gaze and spotted Kanba floating in midair, surrounded by dozens upon dozens of black teddy bears, hanging his head.