Sasuke would be back soon. Although he felt the pressure to hurry, Itachi turned the feet that should have returned him to his house toward the entrance to the compound. He squatted on top of an electrical pole, and looked down at the world. He could clearly see the compound’s large front gates from there.
Behind them, the moon was full, almost frighteningly large. Devoid of any sense of people, the town was wrapped in silence. He could hear a crow cawing off in the distance. The melancholy echo called up the image of a raven separated from its group, drifting.
Someone slipped through the front gates. A boy carrying a bag on his shoulder. His beloved younger brother.
I should have talked so much more with him, Itachi thought, as he watched his brother running below him. He had so many things he wanted to say. Exactly how much of it would he be able to tell his little brother? One or two—no, he couldn’t tell him a single thing about the truth.
In amongst all the uncountable words in his heart, Itachi felt there was just one thing that he absolutely had to tell his brother.
Locking away in his heart the feelings he could not give voice to, Itachi flew toward his own house, leaving his little brother racing along the road home.
There were two auras in the room. As if lured by them, Itachi walked down the familiar hallway without taking his shoes off. Immediately after opening the door, he saw the figures of his parents sitting together.
He stood behind them soundlessly.
“I see. So you sided with them,” his father said in a controlled voice, without turning around. In his voice was a philosophical tone, as though he had understood everything.
“Dad …” Itachi was surprised at himself for automatically calling his father that. He had called him “Father” since the time he graduated from the academy. It was a distinction he drew for himself as a full-fledged ninja. And then, that name had gradually become natural, and he forgot even that he had ever called him “Dad.”
Why would he use that old way of referring to his father now?
When I was little …
Back then, when there weren’t the obligations of the clan, the contradiction of the village, the loneliness, the discouragement; back when his feelings about his family could be simple, might have been the happiest time in Itachi’s life. And now that the parting with his family was before him, he was yearning for those old days.
“Mom …”
“We understand, Itachi.” Her voice was kind, understanding everything, and still trying to envelop him in a hug.
“Itachi,” his father said. “Promise me one thing.” His voice was straightforward, containing not a hint of resentment. “Take care of Sasuke.”
They both understand everything …
He felt it instinctively, and the feelings he had suppressed since parting with Izumi bubbled back to life. His father and mother understood everything: how much Itachi had suffered and struggled, and also the fact that this had most certainly not been an easy decision. On top of that, they were going to quietly accept the fate that had befallen them.
His father hadn’t the slightest intention of crossing blades with his son. And if his father had turned his sword on him, his mother would have given her own life to protect Itachi. The love they felt for the son who was about to kill them radiated from them.
Why didn’t I realize it sooner …
Why did it have to come to this …
He had decided that he would not regret anything, he was supposed to have readied himself, and yet the figures of his mother and father pained Itachi’s heart so much he could hardly stand it.
“I will …” Tears spilled out of his eyes, and wet his cheeks. The hand holding his ninja sword shook.
“Don’t be afraid. This is the path you decided on.”
In the back of Itachi’s mind, the conversation he’d had with his father right after he joined the Anbu—their first in a long time—came back to life.
“You should stay true to your thinking. Fight, be confused, be lost, and come through that to find your answer. And once you find it, make your decision, and do not waver from it. Find your answer, and be ready to follow through. That is determination.”
“Determination … ”
“Yes. There are few people in this world who live their lives with their own determination. They leave their decisions to others, and avert their eyes from responsibility. You must not live like that at least. Move forward in your life, making your own decisions.”
This was the difficult, painful path he had decided on. He must not be afraid. That had been his father’s teaching.
“Compared with you, our pain will end in an instant.” His father was faced with death, and yet, was thinking about the life his son would lead after this. It was as though he were trying to teach Itachi with his own life just what love was.
“Maybe I was too hasty,” his father admonished himself. “I should have believed in you more. Perhaps I should have believed in you, got the clan in check, and waited.”
“Dad?” His voice was shaking with his tears. His mother and father had probably noticed that he was crying. The tears were the first he’d ever let anyone else see.
“You might have been the first Uchiha Hokage. You could have wiped away even the darkness of the clan, broken through the prejudice of the village, and forged a destiny with your own power—” His father cut himself off. Itachi could tell from his shaking back that he was trying to get his emotions under control. “I stole your future from you.”
Itachi couldn’t find anything to say in response. Or rather, if he said anything, his feelings would break completely free.
“But it’s too late for anything now.” His father took a deep breath through his nose. “Even if we think differently, I’m proud of you.”
My father’s pride …
He had wanted to hear those words out in the sunlight. How happy would he have been to be wearing the Hokage’s hat in front of the people of the village, and hear that from his proudly smiling father?
Another dream that won’t come true now …
He couldn’t waste any more time. His little brother was coming home.
He thrust the sword into his mother’s back. A jolt of intense pain raced through Itachi’s heart.
Pulling the sword out, he turned the tip toward his father.
“You’re actually such a gentle child.”
He lowered his head and leaned into his father, as if to press his face to that broad back. Almost like a child begging for a piggyback ride.
Now that he thought about it, his father had never spoiled him like that.
Itachi had never been selfish and troubled him, and he had never been spoiled or cried, either.
If only I had spent more time with him. Tears spilled endlessly from Itachi’s eyes. Without mercy, they continued to wet the hand clutching the sword.
The slight vibrations that were coming to him through the blade stopped completely. Once he felt that his father’s life had ended, he slowly pulled out his sword. Even at a time like this, he was thinking about blood spattering. He hated the Itachi that had the mindset of the ninja dyed into the marrow of his bones.
His hand wouldn’t stop shaking, but he managed to somehow get the sword back in its sheath.
One final job was left. Itachi wiped away his tears, and waited for the moment.