It had been a week since they left the Land of Silence. At Kakashi’s discretion, with the idea that he should recover from his confinement in Fushu Castle and his exhaustion after the battle with Gengo, Shikamaru had been ordered to take a break. But Sakura had healed the wound on his forehead soon after the battle, and he didn’t actually have any bodily injuries that would require him to take time off. And his heart was actually lighter than it had been before he went to the Land of Silence. He had no particular need for time off, but Kakashi had told him to rest in no uncertain terms, and so he was resting, given that he had no other choice.
Choji and Ino and the others had gone out on another mission not long after their return to Konoha, and Naruto and Sakura were still in the Land of Silence. He did go over to Master Kurenai’s house to visit Mirai, but a few hours’ conversation was more than sufficient.
Which meant he had all this time alone with nothing to actually do.
A whole week with no one disturbing him.
For the first time in a long time, his days were quiet.
Sometimes, he spent the entire day staring at a shogi board and moving the pieces by himself; other times, he left the village and went mountain climbing or stared up at the clouds endlessly from the moment the sun climbed up into the sky until the sky was dyed with dusk. He enjoyed every minute of it almost more than he could stand.
He keenly felt the change in himself.
The Shikamaru from before the Land of Silence would certainly have panicked at being away from missions and his work with the alliance for a whole week. He would have been thinking about all sorts of ridiculous things, like whether or not some big thing was happening while he was away, or what if someone made some critical mistake; he wouldn’t have been able to have even a single satisfying day off.
But now, he had relaxed almost too much. This week, about the only time he remembered missions or the alliance was during the ten minutes in his futon before he fell asleep.
Even if he wasn’t there, his comrades would get the job done for him. He had naturally started thinking like this. It wasn’t as though his sense of responsibility had disappeared. It was just that he had created some wiggle room for himself. If there was a situation where he was actually needed, Kakashi or Temari would call him. And he could switch gears in that moment and still handle any situation more than capably. There was no need to spend his time off thinking about rushing headlong into work.
Precisely because he trusted his comrades, he was able to switch gears so completely. But he had been driving himself so hard that he had stopped understanding this very simple fact.
Over his weeklong vacation, he could objectively observe—to the point of unpleasantness—just how himself before the Land of Silence and himself after were different. He came to see how important his comrades were, along with his own small-mindedness and arrogant, mistaken pride in trying to shoulder the burden of anything and everything all by himself.
A person couldn’t live alone. He wasn’t so almighty he could master everything all by himself.
Which was why he had friends.
The very idea of trying to take on the burden alone had been a mistake. And if only to learn this lesson, his trip to the Land of Silence had been a worthwhile one.
When he had very nearly been swayed by Gengo at Fushu Castle, a single hit from Temari had blown everything away. He had seen in that storm the clear answer to the question of who he was.
Basically, Shikamaru was an irresponsible man. Everything was a hassle, and the truth was, he didn’t want to do any of it. If he could have just spaced out, he would have gladly stepped back and bowed out for several days.
That was the real Shikamaru.
And that was all right.
Because he acknowledged this irresponsible, happy-go-lucky self, there were things he could do.
Only someone like him could understand the feelings of those who longed for ordinary lives without dreams. What was wrong with being happy with just right? Dreams weren’t all about aiming for the sky, for some lofty goal or objective.
In a world where war continued, this dream was maybe a difficult one.
And that’s why there was meaning in his being there.
If this world were at peace, if it became a world where everyone could live a quiet life, then those people wishing for a just-right life would get that just-right life. Unfortunately, Shikamaru had been born into a world of war. And so he lived this busy life.
For the sake of the people who would be born in the future, he had to end these wars. This dream didn’t spring from any lofty ideals like Gengo’s. Nor was it anything as noble as ambition or will.
A world in which everyone could live lazy lives…
For someone trying to build such a world, it was a bit like putting the cart before the horse to work frantically to make it happen.
Do work that was just right.
That was enough.
∞
“Seriously. Thanks for all your hard work on this one,” Kakashi said, as he tapped a sheaf of paper against his desk.
Shikamaru had reported to the Hokage’s office to be debriefed on the Land of Silence incident.
“I got the overall picture from the current reports from Sakura, who’s still on the ground there, and from the mission completion reports from Ino and the others. I also heard about your hard work from Soku and Ro, who are getting medical treatment.”
“My…hard work?” The ends of his eyebrows naturally twitched up into an embarrassed expression.