“What’s up?”
“Yuri. Look at that monster over there,” said Filia, crouching down, beckoning me over with a whisper.
Curious, I moved over to check it out, and I spied a monster covered in brown fur. It looked a whole lot like a monkey, except for the fact that its hands were disproportionately long and thin compared to its body.
“They call this monster a ‘medikong.’ If you give it some medicinal herbs, it’ll give you various fruits in return, based on the quality of the herbs you gave it. Wow, being able to meet one like this—talk about good fortune! We’re really lucky.”
So it gave you fruit for medicinal herbs? “That’s a weird trait.”
“Well, think of it this way—when you meet someone stronger than you, you want to show them you’re not their enemy. The medikong does that by giving us a gift in exchange for a gift, though I don’t know how effective it really is.”
Huh. So there were friendly monsters out in the world too, huh? Deep down, I was pretty impressed. Some monsters could even think, then.
“I’m sure this monster has a much richer intellectual life than yours, Yuri.”
“I doubt it. I’m an intellectual muscle man.” (And don’t read my mind without permission!)
“Yuri, Yuri! Let’s give him some herbs!”
Well, okay, I hadn’t really ever had a chance to barter with monsters. It was rarely a bad idea to try new things for yourself, you know, life experience and all that. Fortunately, I had plenty of herbs in the bag of holding at my hip.
“Here. Take it.” I offered a medicinal herb to the medikong, who was half-hidden in the thicket.
The medikong repeatedly reached out his hairy arm and then pulled it back, over and over, until finally he snatched the herb from my hand. Then he quickly hid his entire body in the thicket. Soon enough, I heard the sound of something clattering lightly—thwack!—and a yellow fruit appeared in front of the thicket.
Oooh, banana!
“See?” Filia clapped. “Isn’t that amazing?”
“Yeah. I kinda feel like we connected, somehow.” I took another herb out from my bag of holding and held it out in front of the thicket. The medikong revealed himself once again and snatched the herb from my palm. Thwack. Another banana was placed in front of the thicket.
“Whoa, amazing.”
I tried it again.
And (thwack!) there was yet another banana.
I couldn’t help but raise my brows. “Filia? What’s with all the bananas? You said he’d give out all kinds of fruits, but it’s a bananapalooza here.”
“Maybe…he’s mistaken you for a gorilla? When someone says gorilla, the first thing that comes to mind is bananas.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Nope. In fact, I’m absolutely sure of it.”
Filia was holding her laughter in. She seemed absolutely confident. Could I really have been mistaken for a gorilla? N-no, there was no way.
“All right, one more time!” I grabbed another medicinal herb out from my bag, handed it to the medikong, and—
Banana.
“Again?!” I shouted to the heavens, forced to face the cruel reality of the situation.
But no, I wasn’t giving up!
“All right, then it’s a question of numbers! I’ll fight with numbers!” I grabbed a few bunches of herbs out of the bag and thrust them toward the medikong.
A bunch of bananas.
“Dammit! Okay, one more time! All right, this time, I’m going with real quality herbs. I’ll fight with quality!” I selected some especially nice herbs, handed them to the medikong, and—
An inexplicably prestigious-looking banana.
“Augh!” Seriously, what the hell was happening here? Did I really look like a gorilla to the medikong? No way, that couldn’t be. I had to find a way how to deal with this, somehow.
“Aha!” A lightbulb flicked on. “That’s it. I got it, Filia!”
“Wh-what do you get?” Filia’s cheeks puffed out as she desperately struggled to hold in her laughter.
“I gotta flip the thinking here,” I said, turning to Filia with an audacious smile on my face. “Get it? If I’m being mistaken for a gorilla, then I should do the opposite of what’s expected and just go ahead and act like one. If I do that, his mistake will be made clear. He won’t mistake me for a gorilla anymore!”
Sometimes my incredible thinking amazed even myself. This was truly the “fruit” of an intellectual muscle man. Filia’s mouth was agape. I guess even she was awestruck.
“Get a good look, Filia! Gaze upon my majestic form!”
I took off my shirt and struck an imposing half-naked stance in front of the thicket where the medikong hid. The medikong peered out from the thicket, deeply interested. After confirming he was looking my way, I spread my legs and puffed out my chest to show off my well-developed pecs.
“Ooh. Oooh ooh! Ooh ah ah?” I grunted, dangling my arms and pacing back and forth in front of the thicket. That alone might have been enough here, but I had a little something extra to seal the deal. “Ooh ooh ah ah!”
I started drumming on my chest. Then, finally, I handed over some herbs.
Yeah. Yeah, that’s the stuff! I’d done it. And now—
Banana.
“Why?!”
“D-don’t make me laugh any more, please! H-hee, m-my stomach hurts!” Filia crouched down on the ground, clutching her tummy, her face crimson from laughter.
How was this happening?! I had way prettier muscles than a gorilla, remarkably so. The world was so strange…
“Ahh, that was so good,” said Filia a while later, wiping the tears from her eyes. Jeez, she’d busted her gut.
“Damn. I gotta work out more.”
“How on earth did you arrive at that conclusion?”
I had to build up muscles that couldn’t be mistaken for a gorilla’s, obviously. Yeah, I was determined!
Incidentally, when Filia gave the medikong some herbs a minute later, it placed a basket in front of the thicket that positively overflowed with an assortment of fruits, all of the highest quality. Compared to the bananas I’d gotten for nice quality herbs, the fruit she got was way better.
“Would you look at that, Yuri? Transcendentally gorgeous elf girls are just in a different class altogether.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever…”
Filia, elated with her success, smiled cheekily. I just shook my head. She couldn’t prove it, ya know?
✦ ✦ ✦
When we returned to the guild, Filia and I handed the Sun Flower to the young boy. “Thank you so much, sir, miss! This is going to make my mom so happy!”
The look of genuine joy on the young boy’s face was so nice that it felt totally worth all the work we did.
“I’m glad to hear that. Oh, while we’re at it, take these too.” I gave the boy a handbag.
When he took it, he peered inside. “What’s this? Sir, these are…bananas? Why are you giving me these?”
“Because I’m not a gorilla.”
The boy tilted his head to one side, as if he didn’t understand what I meant.
“What’s up? You need another bag?” I asked, handing the perplexed boy said another bag.
“Wh-why are there so many…? Uh. Anyway, thank you! I’ll eat these together with my mom!” said the boy, running off in good spirits, holding bags of bananas in both hands.
Off he went to his home. Another successful request, then.
“Pfft…pff he he. Pfa ha ha ha ha!”
I narrowed my eyes at Filia. “How long are you gonna laugh at me?”
“Eh he he he heeeh! It’s not like I’m laughing because I want to—just—just seeing you carry around all those bananas, it’s too much. It just set me off!” Filia hid her eyes with her hands, but I could see the corners of her mouth curved into a smile.
“Filia?”
“Wh-what is it?”
I removed Filia’s hands from her face and brought mine in close. Then, with a completely blank expression, I said but one word:
“Banana.”
“Hhk! Pffft…!”
“Baanaanaaa. Ooh, ooh ooh!”
“PPfft! Heee! Ah ha ha ha! Th-that’s cheating! I-I can’t breathe!” Filia fell off her chair laughing and rolled around on the floor.
“You seriously have the worst personality!”
“Can’t breathe…eh he hee! I-I’m really gonna die! Ah! Yuri, help!”
“Like hell I will! I hate you!”
“D-don’t hate m-m-meee hee hee he he ha ha ha!”
“Stop laughing then!”
For the rest of the day, Filia burst into laughter every time she saw my face. Jeez, talk about rude!