Chapter 13:
Filia’s Resolve
(Filia’s POV)
MOTHER AND FATHER sat across from me. I had just finished eating dinner and still sat at the table with them, but Yuri wasn’t beside me. It had to be like that, though. I mean, if I couldn’t open up to my parents about my abilities, I would never be able to continue on my journey.
“Father. Mother.” I spoke slowly, trying to calm my racing mind. My heart thudded in my chest, but…I needed to say something. I had to say something. That was why I’d returned to the village. “I have something I would like to ask of you. No, I gotta ask.”
If I spoke so stiffly and unnaturally, I’d never reach them. I stopped using such formal language, and…went back to how I used to talk, before I was ignored. The two of them listened with serious faces. I guess they could tell I was about to be truly earnest. I forced my lips to stop quivering through sheer willpower and opened my mouth:
“I came back to the village to get my abilities back. Fa—Dad. Mom? I want you guys to come with me to help me convince the village chief.”
Their eyes widened in surprise, just like I’d expected. I’d said something rather astounding right out of the blue.
“Your abilities?!” Mom started.
“Lia, the village chief says the ‘Wind God’ ability is an affront to Almighty Wind God—”
“Even so!” I shouted, interrupting them. “Even so,” I repeated firmly, “I need them. ‘Wind God,’ and ‘Clairvoyance’ too.”
At that, my dad let out a small sigh. “To be frank, I had a sneaking suspicion this was the reason you came back. Your mother and I, we would like to…to…but we can’t. Please understand, Lia, we want you to be happy.”
Oh. So my own dad disagreed with me. “How is taking away my abilities supposed to make me happy?”
“Because when you have power, you get caught up in dangerous things. Rather than have a pointlessly strong ability, wouldn’t it be better to not have it at all?”
“No, Dad. That’s not even true!” I fired back.
Fired back? Huh. Looking back, that might’ve been the first time I’d ever argued with my dad directly. I considered taking a peek into their minds, too, but—no, it still didn’t work. When they’d found out that I had the ‘Wind God’ ability, ever since they started ignoring me, I hadn’t been able to see into their hearts.
My Telepathy only allowed me to read the minds of those whose minds were open to me. If I couldn’t read their minds, then their minds were closed. As nice as they’d been acting after I returned to the village, did they… Did they really hate me deep down, after all? If I got the Wind God back, would they ignore me again? Would they stop talking to me? Ugh, I…I could barely think about it. It felt like my heart was trembling in my ribs, on the verge of shattering and cutting up my insides.
“Now, Elgis, she…”
“Fira, you be quiet,” he said. “Filia…I’m not in favor of getting your abilities back.”
Dad only ever called me “Filia” when he was being serious. It was almost nostalgic, hearing that after such a long time, but it was all soured with his distrust.
“Dad, are you even thinking of me when you say that?” No. No, they weren’t at all. They were thinking of themselves, of their cozy little lives in the village, of how scared they were of being ostracized. I wanted to spit the words at them, but I managed to swallow that venom.
“Of course we are,” said Dad. “Isn’t it obvious? Oh, Filia, you’ve always been the most important thing to your mother and me! I’d give my life for you!”
“Yes, Filia…there’s…there’s nothing in this world that matters to us more than you!”
I mattered to them more than anything, huh? But for all that, they didn’t want to return my abilities after all. My thoughts weren’t reaching them. To be honest, it was…it was hard not to cry. They’d both been so kind to me since I returned that I’d really believed they might understand. Really begun to hope, you know? But that bright hope collapsed into a black hole of disappointment.
“That’s exactly why your mother and I are opposed to you getting your abilities back,” my father said adamantly. I supposed I couldn’t change his feelings on the matter so soon or so easily.
Well, fine. No getting around it. I hadn’t wanted to worry them, so I’d kept quiet about it, but if things were going to end like this? I wasn’t going to hide the truth of my motives. I’d just tell them. “Do you know about the Elf Hunting incidents happening outside the forest?”
“Yes. The village chief told us about them earlier…” my dad answered. I could tell the sudden shift in topic made him suspicious, but he answered anyway.
“Some time ago,” I said, “I was kidnapped by some lowlifes involved in the matter.”
“Wh-what?!” Their eyes widened in shock and they leaned in closer to me, looking exceedingly concerned.
I paid them no mind. Just kept talking. “If I had more power, then maybe I’d be able to carry on without worrying Yuri. Maybe I could’ve handled myself better in a fight… So you see, I want that power back. I need it.”
“But, ah, Lia,” said Mom, “do you suppose you could just stay here, now that you’ve come back? If you did that, you wouldn’t have to endure such horrible dangers. You’d be safe.”
She wasn’t all wrong. This village was safer than the outside world, for sure. Elves were often targeted outside our woods, and maybe I couldn’t ever live safely out there, but…
“I refuse,” I said without hesitation, shaking my head. “When I left the forest and got to know the wide world outside, I was so moved. The world is so much freer than you know, and so welcoming to me. There have been hardships and pain—of course there have—but in a way, that makes it all the more rewarding. Even fun, sometimes. The world inside me is expanding.”
Memories of my travels came flooding into my mind. None of those things would have been possible if I stayed holed up inside this forest, growing stale and sad.
“I’m sorry to tell you this,” I said, “but I don’t plan to stay in this forest. Never again.”
“Hmph. Is that all you want to say?” said my dad, glaring at me. I managed not to look away, somehow. If I couldn’t talk back here and now, I wasn’t much of an elf.
No, I’d say whatever came to mind. And maybe it came out awkward, but I’d go with it. “Maybe you both think I’ll be safe if I stay in this village and don’t get my abilities back, but a threat like the Elf Hunts might still come here. You can tell me—you can tell yourselves—that there’s some perfectly safe place, but it’s not this one. I don’t think it really exists. And I’m not going to waste my time pretending it does. This is my life.”
When I was a child, my dad and mom had kept me safe. Now Yuri had been protecting me, but could I accept that? I couldn’t expect Yuri to protect me forever. My heart ached merely imagining Yuri getting hurt for my sake. No, I had to become strong—strong in battle, yeah, but strong in spirit too.