We headed over to Moichi’s shop. It was located in the exact middle of the village, immediately in front of the Fire God idol. As we entered the shop, a faintly sweet smell tickled our noses. The spacious store had a really relaxed feel; it was perfect for this tranquil village.
“This shop has such a nice atmosphere,” said Filia.
“Ya think so?” said Moichi, looking bashful at the praise. “Thanks, I really appreciate it!”
“I love Moichi’s shop too,” said Ashley. “His stuff is so yummy.”
“Ashley’s been a regular since my pop’s time. She really means a lot to me.”
“He he, true! You should be grateful,” said Ashley, puffing out her chest.
“Yes, yes, thank you for your patronage, Ashley,” Moichi teased. The sight was so heartwarming that it almost made me completely forget about the coming attack.
“What do you sell here anyway?” I asked.
“Oh, donuts. Donuts.”
“Donuts?” I asked as a certain man’s face popped up in my mind. That S-Rank adventurer…Javagiir was his name, right? He had been a pretty strange fellow. Where was he right now? I really wanted to trade blows with him sometime. And maybe give him a rousing lecture on muscle, since he had looked so unhealthy and all.
I was sure he’d get even stronger if I told him about muscle training. And when he got stronger, we’d fight again. Heh! This was the best idea ever. It’d be like, a perfect circle of fighty trainy punchy fighty!
“He just started smiling all of the sudden,” said Ashley. “Is he okay?”
“That’s just how Yuri is.”
“That’s what worries me.”
“Uh. Well, that’s a good point…”
“Hey, Yuri, Yuri!” Loli Loli piped in, tugging on my arm. “Maybe you’re not really a proper grown-up after all?” She said all that with an entirely straight face.
Jeez, while I was caught up in my fantasies, they were all just taking advantage of it to say whatever the heck they wanted!
“I am a proper adult. An intellectual muscle man! A gentle muscle man!” I argued, releasing my muscles as a sign of protest. My muscles swelled out with a forceful boom and my body was revealed in all its glory.
“Oh! That’s pretty amazing, Yuri! Respect!” Loli Loli cheered.
“Totally, right?” I responded by striking a series of poses.
In the meantime, Moichi and the others just continued their conversation. “Well, the donuts we sell here are different. They have a unique flavor.”
“Oh? What’re they like?”
“Well, they—you know what? It’d actually be easier to just make ’em for ya. Wait a minute.”
Moichi withdrew into the kitchen. Loli Loli stretched her neck out, trying to see just where Moichi had disappeared to. The second she realized donuts were on the table, her interest swung totally away from muscles.
“Donuts! I know what those are!” said Loli Loli. “They’re really yummy, aren’t they?! Loli Loli likes them too!”
“Oh, Loli Loli, you know about donuts?” I asked her.
She puffed out her cheeks and shot me a look. “Hmph! You always underestimate me! Of course I know about them!”
Was it that obvious? In my defense, she hadn’t known a thing about festivals. I wasn’t really sure how to predict what she did and didn’t know, honestly. Loli Loli let out an indignant snort.
“Moichi’s donuts are especially yummy,” Ashley interrupted, “so I hope you’re looking forward to them.”
“Really? In that case, we’ll just have to wait and see!” said Filia.
“You’re really talkin’ them up,” I said.
“Yep! Because they really are yummy.” Ashley’s eyes glazed over like she had been enchanted, and she looked vacantly off into empty space as if she were lost in donut memories. She was clearly trying not to drool. It wasn’t at all what you’d have expected from her.
Still, unless Ashley’s sense of taste was seriously screwed up, I supposed we really could expect some dynamite donuts. But I wasn’t the one looking forward to it the most—that was definitely Filia. Her passion for food was extraordinary.
“If you say so, then I’m positively swelling with anticipation—huh?!” Filia wore a look of pure goofy glee—the kind of look that might’ve ruined somebody’s image of a beautiful woman. The moment she noticed my gaze, she quickly reverted to her typical dignified expression. Was she embarrassed that I’d seen her looking all—
“Yuri, were you looking at my chest just now?! You perv—did the word ‘swelling’ set you off and get you ogling?! That’s so mean!”
“I wasn’t lookin’ there and wasn’t thinkin’ that!”
Filia squeezed herself, huddling her shoulders in, trembling with fear. Seriously, couldn’t she just read my mind to know there was no problem?
She sniffed. “Well then, at least say I’m cute.”
“What’re you talkin’ about?!”
“I’m talking about you repeating after me: Filia is super cute. There! Now, you try!”
Was she playing with me? Was she reading my mind, by chance? I shot her a narrow-eyed look.
“I-I’m not reading your mind. Okay?” said Filia.
She wasn’t, huh? But I hadn’t even said that out loud!
“Pwee-pfft-pshhh!” Filia whistled extremely badly in an attempt to change the subject.
“You know, you’re kind of unfortunate.”
“What are you talking about, Yuri?” asked Ashley, putting her hand on Filia’s shoulder.
I should’ve expected Ashley to back up her Big Sis. She always had been more attached to Filia than to me.
“A-Ashley!” Filia gasped, moved by the support. She was overjoyed to have Ashley standing beside her.
Eyes alight, Ashley declared, “Big Sis is the best kind of unfortunate!”
“Ashley?!” Filia reeled. She’d thought an ally had come to her aid in her darkest hour only to suffer a serious blow. Before my eyes, I saw Filia’s hit points reduced to zero.
As if to comfort her, Ashley put a hand on both of her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. “It’s all right, Big Sis. You know, I think you look better with smaller breasts!”
“Ack!” Filia crumpled to the floor from sheer mental anguish, as if her soul had left her body. Ashley had dealt her a decisive blow.
“Wow…that was surprisingly brutal, Ashley.”
“M-me? What was brutal about that?” She looked like a puzzled child.
She’d really unleashed a mortal blow by accident, huh? Amazing. She had a promising future ahead of her.
As for Filia, she shook her head and wobbled around on the floor for a little while, but she eventually managed to struggle back to her feet. Then, in a trembling voice, she made an announcement. “O-okay, listen here, everyone: I’m going to be going through a growth spurt real soon! I’m not giving up yet, you hear me?! I’m not giving up!”
At the sound of her voice, I was filled with a strange desire to get as far away as I could, as quickly as possible. From the corner of my eye, I saw Ashley felt the same. Yet the two of us stood there, paralyzed.
At last, a girl’s voice broke the silence. “Hey, do you have a minute?” said Loli Loli. “I have something I want to say.”
“Wh-what is it, Loli Loli?”