1
Bang!
Kaname threw the iron doors wide and stepped out onto the roof of a resort hotel. This building was just one of the many specks of light in the sea of stars that made up the financial district’s nightscape.
The roof was dominated by an enormous jacuzzi, and in its center sat a blond, fresh-faced man named Frey(a), with a bath towel–clad beauty under each arm. Suddenly, the two women slipped away, rising out of the water. Frey(a) watched them go, perplexed, before craning his neck around and noticing his visitor. The jacuzzi lights illuminated his face from below, projecting the water’s ripples onto his charming smile.
“Well, if it isn’t Kaname! You seem tired; I hope my newest recruits didn’t cause you too much trouble. I feel a tad responsible, you know. So in return, how about you take any three handbags you like from my pawnshop? Hee-hee. If that’s still not enough for you, I’m sure I can find a more personal way to pay you back…”
Kaname ignored the man’s suggestive words and walked over to a nearby handcart. It was replete with bottles of shampoo and body soap, as well as other more dubious items, such as disinfectant and a slippery substance that Kaname suspected wasn’t for hygiene purposes at all. No doubt Frey(a)’s baths were a little more exciting than the average person’s.
Kaname wasn’t after any of those things, however. Instead, he reached into the top drawer of the cart and pulled out a blow-dryer.
“Ah.”
Frey(a) nearly jumped out of his skin, tumbling out of the jacuzzi just seconds before Kaname tossed in the blow-dryer, along with the bulky battery pack that allowed it to operate outdoors. As soon as the electronics touched the water, there was a loud crackle, and the jacuzzi went silent.
Frey(a) looked up at Kaname, face pale, in nothing but a towel.
“Wh-wh-wh-what on earth’s gotten into you, Kaname?! Are you trying to kill me?!”
“…After risking my life because you stabbed me in the back, I’d really appreciate it if the first thing I had to see wasn’t your microdick.”
“Oh my goodness, he’s lost his mind! Where’s the sweet young boy I used to know? I’ll tell you what, Kaname. This hotel is currently in my possession, so why don’t you tuck yourself in and get some much-needed rest, hmm? I’ll even throw in one of my world-famous massage sessions, on the house!”
“I think we have something more important to talk about first, don’t we?”
“Oh, of course! You want to hear more about the massage, don’t you? Well, we’ve got plenty of options; you can have it in the bath, in the bedroom; we’ve got chairs, mats—we could do it right here if you want. If you’d rather have a female masseuse, that can be arr—Eek!”
Kaname Suou bent down and reached into the second drawer of the handcart. From there, he pulled out a hidden weapon: a special gun that used compressed air to push out an exceptionally thick silicon tube about the size of a relay baton. Rapid-fire capable, too.
Flick the switch, and…
Bam-bam-bam!! Thud! Thud! Thud!
“Wait, wait, wait! Kaname, please! One direct hit from the XL size and you’ll split me in half! At least let me change forms first! Have mercy! Oh, sweet Jesus, no!!”
As Frey(a) ducked and weaved for dear life, Kaname continued in a deep, threatening voice.
“…I don’t like the Western way of refusing to apologize when somebody dies from negligence. If you’re a grown-up, you should know how to say sorry…”
“I will!! I will! I’ll turn over a new leaf! I’ll do anything!!”
Kaname turned off the rampaging machine in his hands. Then he took out the gently arched silicone rod and snapped it in half.
“I’m still sending you a bill later, but I’ll let you off this time. This is it, though. Next time, I’ll be snapping yours. You know as well as anyone just how serious I can be, don’t you, Frey(a)?”
“Hee-hee. I was only looking to spice up our stagnant relationship with a little aphrodisiac. It was just a little more…powerful…than I expected, that’s all. But you know, getting to see such a sadistic side of you made it all worthwhile. Hee-hee. If my betrayal shocked you so deeply, that means you must have trusted me quite a bit! I must return your affections with my own!!”
Kaname didn’t need to stand around and listen to Frey(a)’s nonsense. He threw the pieces of silicone aside and headed for the exit. As he passed, Frey(a)’s slime Magistellus in her chocolate-brown sailor suit quickly bowed.
“I deeply apologize for any inconvenience caused by my rash and senseless master.”
“It’s not your fault. In fact, if you hadn’t secretly let me in to the VIP area, I would never have been able to sneak up on Frey(a) like this.”
Betrayal was unthinkable for the Magistelli, duty-bound as they were to support their Dealers. But apparently, the girl saw no contradiction in her actions.
“…I only do what is best for my master. Sometimes, that requires he be given a good talking-to by someone who knows what they’re doing.”
“I see.”
“In fact, I must thank you. Few are strong enough to talk sense into my master without fear of the consequences. Please do not give up on him, Mr. Suou. My master has expressed his desire to compensate you for any wasted time, as well as for any physical and mental stress you may have suffered. Do you have any particular requests? He did say anything, so anything is what I shall provide.”
“Hmm… There is one thing. I could do it myself, but it would be a lot easier if I had some help with the busywork. How about it?”
“On the pride and dignity of the Treasure Hermit Crabs, I shall see it done, sir.”
Kaname gave a weak smile at the Magistellus’s stiff formality.
He wouldn’t ask the impossible. Kaname was keen to extract his due recompense and clear the slate as soon as he could.