“P-present!” Yunyun, whose longish hair was tied back with a ribbon and who gave off a definite overachiever vibe, blushed a little as she answered. Ours was a small school in the hamlet known as Crimson Magic Village. When they reach the right age, children of our village come to the school to receive a general education, and when they turn twelve, they start studying magic under the tutelage of a so-called Arch-wizard, an advanced class of wizard. Members of the Crimson Magic Clan are born with exceptionally high intelligence and magical ability, and typically they study in school until they learn their magic. In other words, around here, acquiring magic is equivalent to graduating. Which is another way of saying that no one in our classroom could use magic. The students in our class spent all their effort acquiring “skill points” so they could learn the spells they wanted. The number of skill points one needed varied depending on what magic one wanted to learn. Stronger magic demanded more points. But there was only one thing the girls in this class wanted to learn. Advanced Magic. This was a skill that allowed the wielder to employ a variety of powerful spells—enough to catch the attention of any young wizard. In our village, learning the Advanced Magic skill was tantamount to becoming a full-fledged adult. But… “Okay, it’s time for the test results. The top three scorers will receive a skill-up potion as usual. Come to the front of the class to get it. Starting with number three! Arue!” I gazed out the window, sparing only a glance at our phlegmatic classmate as she stood to receive her potion. “Number two, Yunyun! Well done—that’s what I expect from the daughter of our chief! Keep up the good work.” “Oh, y-yes, sir!” I glanced over and saw Yunyun getting up from her desk, her face bright red. There were only two ways to gain skill points: raise your level by defeating monsters and gaining experience or consume a skill-up potion. Those potions were very rare, though, so students eager to attain Advanced Magic fought hard to get them. “Finally, number one, Megumin!” I stood to get my potion when my name was called. Yunyun was looking at me ruefully. “Excellent score, as ever!” the teacher said to me. “I have to think you’ve got enough skill points to learn Advanced Magic any day now, though… Well anyway, keep raising the bar!” I went back to my chair with my potion and resumed staring out the window. From our classroom on the second floor, I had an excellent view of the village. I wondered if that person I met when I was so young, whose name I’d never even gotten to ask, was doing well somewhere out there in that big, wide world. While the teacher was busy exhorting the other students to study, I pulled a card out from close to my chest. It was called an Adventurer’s Card. The JOB field was filled in with the word ARCH-WIZARD. LEVEL: 1. Below that, it showed I had forty-five skill points. And in the field showing skills I could learn, glowing letters indicated that learning Advanced Magic would require thirty points. “The rest of you could learn a thing or two from Megumin. Work hard so you can get that Advanced Magic as soon as possible! All right, time for class!” I let the teacher’s voice go in one ear and out the other as I gazed at something else in the SKILLS field of my card… Displayed in grayed-out letters was the word EXPLOSION, with a skill-point value of fifty. I ran my finger over it. In the Crimson Magic Clan, learning Advanced Magic made you an adult, but that wasn’t the spell I was after. Even now, the words that robed woman had intoned, that spell of ultimate destruction, were burned into my mind. I was going to acquire Explosion. And then one day, I was going to show that woman what I had learned… 2 During the break after first period, a hand came slamming down on my desk. “Megumin! You know why I’ve come!” The speaker was Yunyun, who sat next to me. She was the daughter of the chief of the Crimson Magic Clan and an excellent student in every subject. “Yes, yes. Incidentally, what is my breakfast going to be today? I’m famished.” “O-oh really? Well, for a side dish today, I really worked hard to make— W-wait, no! Why do you assume I’m going to lose?! T-today I’m going to win! Today is the day I, the daughter of the chief, achieve victory!” She was also my self-proclaimed rival and the one who made my meals every day. Despite her declaration, Yunyun put her boxed meal on my desk. As for me, I set down the potion I’d earned earlier. “All right, then I shall determine the nature of our duel, as always. Surely, I can be granted a little handicap against the chief’s daughter. And I hardly think a packed meal against a rare and valuable potion would normally be considered a fair wager.” “Y-yeah, I know that. Just go ahead and name the terms!” What a soft touch. “Very well. Our duel will consist of who, at the next physical measurement, shall prove to be more compact and thus friendlier to the environment.” “That’s no fair! There’s no way I can beat you at that!” What…?! “I know I’m the one who suggested this, but your bragging is really getting on my nerves! We are the same age, so there can hardly be that much difference between us! This young woman’s ego is way too big!” “Ow, that hurts! Stop it! I thought we were competing at the measurements! If you’re that worked up about it, why not have a contest in gym class?!” As I bopped Yunyun repeatedly, the other girls all filed toward the nurse’s office. It was all right: As I grew up, I’d investigated what I’d been told as a child, that becoming a great wizard would also mean a great rack, and it seemed to be more than just talk. Maybe an intense magical cycle improves blood flow and encourages growth or something, because an inordinate number of the best wizards in the village were exceptionally well-endowed. As the top student in my class, I expected the day would soon come when I joined the ranks of those alluring Arch-wizards. The thought filled my mind as I headed for the nurse’s office, Yunyun following frantically behind. “Hey, Megumin! If you’re so sure, how about just a contest of who’s taller? No, hey, don’t leave me behind…!” The physicals had already started when we got to the nurse’s office. I was the smallest in my class full of girls. I had my suspicions, however, that the problem was nutritional in nature. Thanks to my father, a magical-item craftsman with unique tastes, my family was always destitute. Our collective diet left much to be desired, and I thought it might be stunting my growth. “Ah, Arue, you’ve grown again. Maybe more than anyone in class. All right, next is…Megumin… Ahem, as I tell you every time, standing on your tiptoes and puffing out your chest doesn’t make any difference, all right? I’m using measurement magic, so holding in a big, deep breath isn’t going to change the numbers.” My modicum of resistance went in vain as the nurse used her magic to figure out my measurements. “Good… Hmm, you haven’t grown much, Megumin. Well, anyway. Next, Yunyun.” “Oh, no, I’m sure I grew… I’m gonna lose… Awww, I knew it! I lost to Megumin again… Ow, ouch! Wh-why are you doing that?! You already beat me and took my food—why do you have to hit me, too?!” “Ask that disgustingly well-developed chest of yours!” “M-Megumin, stress stunts your growth!” 3 I was eating the breakfast that I had relieved Yunyun of. “Megumin! Here’s an expensive, organic, Neroid-infused pudding that’s perfect for dessert!” “Thank you very much. Hey, there’s no spoon.” “Oh, s-sorry, just a second.” I was sitting in my seat, calmly eating Yunyun’s packed meal and watching her scramble for a utensil. Suddenly, though, the pudding and the spoon were both slammed down on my desk. “What’s wrong with me?! I should be saying, ‘Let’s have a contest with the pudding as the wager!’ Why am I always so eager to do anything you say, Megumin?!” “Every day, Yunyun, I feel as if I am your dog or your cat, a pet you care for. So perhaps I could see fit to let you come home with me sometime soon. And we could stop off for something to eat on the way.” “What?! R-really…? No, steady, Yunyun! We’re rivals, remember?! A-and anyway, don’t talk to me about getting ‘something to eat’ when I know you just want to poach whatever I get!” I wondered when exactly we had become rivals. In any event, I gave the empty lunch box back to Yunyun. “That was quite tasty, thank you. I appreciated the little flavor boosters you added today. They were excellent. Tomorrow, perhaps you could focus on protein.” “O-oh, is that what you want? Well, for tomorrow, I can…” In the middle of happily returning the lunch box to her bag, Yunyun stopped. “Wh-what is wrong with me?! Why do I always…?!” “Take your seats! Time for class. You shouldn’t be bringing pudding to school anyway. Consider it confiscated!” ““Oh no!”” We suddenly found our pudding in the hands of the teacher, who had arrived when we weren’t looking. Class started, notwithstanding Yunyun, who was moping “My pudding…” from the seat beside me. The teacher wrote a hierarchy of magical spells on the blackboard and told us to copy it into our notebooks. As we copied silently, the teacher stood at the lectern and began to talk about magic and also to make a show of stuffing his face with our pudding. “Okay. Today, I’m going to talk about a special branch of magic. First, consider the three written here. Basic magic, intermediate magic, and advanced magic. I assume I don’t have to explain these. And I think you all believe that advanced magic is the most powerful magic available.” Then the teacher wrote three more names of spells on the board. “In addition to advanced magic, however, specialized branches of magic exist, including blasting magic, detonation magic, and explosion magic. These spells boast immense power, but on top of being difficult to learn, they’re inefficient, and there aren’t many opportunities to use them.” My attention, which had been focused entirely on the pudding in the teacher’s hand, shifted at the mention of explosion magic. “First, blasting magic. This is powerful enough to split boulders, and mages who learn it are frequently called upon to assist in national public works projects. However, it requires roughly as many skill points as advanced magic. I would avoid it unless you fancy a career in civil engineering.” Blasting magic. Blasting magic… I was careful to make a note of it in my notebook, pricking up my ears to be sure I didn’t miss a word of what the teacher said. “Next, detonation magic. This was the special magic of a legendary Arch-wizard. Every monster that faced her was buried by her series of detonation spells. However, every use of this spell requires an extraordinary amount of MP. The average mage would be completely exhausted trying to launch several of them in a row. Even if you’ve got confidence in your MP, learning detonation magic isn’t very practical.” Detonation magic— Detonation magic— I quickly wrote detonation magic in my notebook. Then the instructor set down his chalk and resumed stuffing the last of the pudding into his face. Grrr… Right when he was about to get to the most important of all, explosion magic. “Teacher. About the last one—explosion magic…” I raised my hand and rose from my seat. All my classmates turned to look at me. Our teacher just laughed. “Forget about explosion magic. The number of skill points you’d need is absurd, and if you finally did learn it, you’d discover it takes so much MP that even users with abundant magical power often can’t get off a single shot. And if by chance you were able to use it, well, it’s so powerful, you’d not only take out the monsters you were targeting but probably alter the surrounding landscape, too. If you tried to use it in a dungeon, you’d bring the whole thing down on your head, not to mention attract every monster in the area with the noise. Listen to your teacher, kids: Explosion magic is just a gimmick.” 4 Third period. Language class. “Okay, everyone. Grammar and language are very important to us Crimson Magic Clan members. Why would that be? …Megumin! Tell me why those things are so important to our people.” I stood up when the teacher called on me. “Because quick incantation and correct pronunciation affect your ability to control your magic.” “Three points out of a hundred. That’ll never do.” “Th-three?!” How could I, of all people, get just three points…?! Three points… I sat back unsteadily in my chair, while the teacher moved on to Yunyun. “Yunyun, you’re next! Maybe you can give me the right answer.” “Y-yes, sir! Some of the magic used in creating ancient seals makes use of old systems of writing. In order to understand these so-called magic formulas, it’s essential to study the relevant languages.” “Thirty points! I appreciate your drawing on concepts like seals and magic formulas, but the rest comes up short!” “Thirty points?! …Thirty points…” Yunyun sat down, disheartened, while the teacher sighed as if to emphasize how disappointed he was in us. “Sigh… Are these really my top students…?” ““Ouch!”” Yunyun and I exclaimed, but the frustrated teacher ignored us, pointing to another student. “Arue! Why are the fundamentals of grammar and language so important to the Crimson Magic Clan?” Arue, the third most distinguished student in class, stood at her desk and puffed out her chest. “In order to avoid weird nicknames, such as Fire-Breathing Fire-User. In addition, so that your prebattle speech can make the battlefield a place of passion and drama.” “One hundred points! Yes, nicknames are very important to us Crimson Magic Clan folk. I myself have the greatest among the nicknames in this village. And of course, each of you is going to have to come up with a nickname when you graduate. Right, next is gym class. I’ll show you some examples!” 5 The school’s courtyard was such in name only; in fact, it was simply a barren patch in front of the building where the grass had been burned away using fire magic. Our teacher stood there wearing a cape, letting something burn for some time. The smoke from the smoldering something had been rising for a while, so one presumed our teacher had been here quite early in the morning getting ready. Most likely, the burning thing was an expensive rain charm the teacher had purchased to summon clouds just for this class. Our teacher nodded once, apparently satisfied by the size of the clouds gathering overhead. “All right! Time for gym class–cum–battle training! Now, what is the most important thing to us Crimson Magickers in battle? Let’s see… Yunyun! You tell me!” “M-me?! Er, uh, in battle, what matters is…b-being calm! You need to be totally unmoved no matter what happens!” “Five points out of a hundred! Next, Megumin!” “Five points?!” Yunyun kept muttering “Five points…” as the teacher moved on to me. The most important thing in battle? There could be only one answer to that! “It’s destructive force, sir. The ability to trample everything in one’s path! Strength—that is what’s most important!” “Fifty points! Yes, strength is important. A real Crimson Magic battle can’t get going without sufficient destructive force. But you’re still wrong! That’s why you’re missing half the score!” “H-how could I—I, of all people—get just fifty points…?!” “Me, I only got five…” “Pfeh!” Our teacher spat on the ground as if to say, These are my best students? I’m disappointed. ““Oh!”” Yunyun and I exclaimed, but our nasty teacher ignored us and pointed at another student. “Arue! I’m betting you know the answer to this! You, with that fantastic eye patch covering your left eye, must understand what’s most important in battle!” Our classmate, the one with the eye patch, the one who was rumored to look incredible naked, the one who hardly seemed to be the same age as the rest of us, took a step forward. She pulled her eye patch up with a little tug and said, “It’s coolness, sir.” “One hundred points! Excellent, Arue—have a skill-up potion! Yes, coolness is the answer! We Crimson Magic Clan members are showstoppers or we are nothing! Now, I’ll give you a little taste of what I’m talking about… Call of Thunderstorm!” The teacher intoned a spell of some kind, and blue-white lightning began to flash amid the clouds hanging above. It must have been some spell, because an unnatural wind began to whip around us. We tried to keep our hair from getting into our faces as our teacher thrust out a staff he had ready and raised it to the sky. “My name is Pucchin! Arch-wizard and wielder of advanced magic…” As he spoke, a bolt of lightning came crashing down to meet his upraised staff. He gave a flourish of his cape, letting the wind whip it behind him. “Greatest homeroom teacher of the Crimson Magic Clan and he who shall one day occupy the principal’s seat…!” There was a roll of thunder and another lightning bolt. Our teacher froze, standing illuminated by the blue-white flash with his cape billowing behind him. “““S-so cool!””” our classmates chorused; when I looked over, I saw that only Yunyun wasn’t part of the cheer, standing with her reddened face in her hands, quaking slightly. I thought perhaps she was so overwhelmed by our teacher’s awesomeness that she was unable to look at him, but then I heard her mutter, “S-so embarrassing…!” Apparently, the rumors that she had most unusual sensibilities were true. I had heard tell of a mysterious condition where those in their adolescence become obsessed with the strangest things, and perhaps Yunyun was among those so afflicted. The wind kept blowing as our teacher started moving again, clapping his hands and saying, “All right! Pair up with whomever you want! Then practice introducing yourselves to each other in a cool way, and try to work out an awesome pose, too!” Yunyun flinched at that. I wondered what was wrong with her—and then I watched her look hesitantly around the courtyard before finally glancing in my direction. No doubt she wanted to pair up with me, but since she had proclaimed herself my rival, she couldn’t bring herself to ask. …How very annoying. I was just thinking I would force her to pair up with me, then intimidate her to tears with my incredibly cool pose, when someone called to me. “Megumin, do you have a partner? Want to work with me?” I turned and saw, first and foremost, a pair of boobs coming toward me that I would never have imagined belonged to a girl who was twelve years old, just like me. …How very, very annoying. I heard a little “Oh…” from behind me. I didn’t have to look to know it was Yunyun. My eye-patched classmate, Arue, was the one who had called to me. She was stretching her neck and doing little jumps; maybe she thought she was warming up. In time with her bouncing, her chest… ……………This girl is my enemy! “Very well,” I said. “According to my statistical study, you have a high chance of becoming a great wizard in the future. So let us settle here and now which of us is better!” “C-can you figure out that sort of thing with statistics?!” Yunyun exclaimed, totally taken in, but I paid her no mind; I could not be bothered. Our teacher bellowed, “Good, good. Everyone have their partners? If anyone’s by themselves, they can work with me.” “What? Oh!” Yunyun looked around quickly, and when she realized she was the only one without a partner, her shoulders slumped, and she began trudging toward the teacher. ……… “Arue. I’m afraid I’m not quite feeling well today, so I think I may ask to get excused from gym class. Maybe there was something bad in the food Yunyun gave me earlier.” “What?!” Yunyun exclaimed, an expression of sincere shock on her face. “Teacher, I’m afraid I’m not feeling well. May I skip gym today?” “What, again? I can’t let you do that; you’ve never even finished an entire gym period. And this one’s especially important. I won’t stand for any malingering.” Seeing that the teacher wasn’t inclined to be flexible, I started groaning and curled up on the ground. “I hate to tell you this, but that won’t work on—” “I-it’s awakening…! If this keeps up, the being inside me will take control of my body and…!” “Hey, Megumin, you…! Don’t tell me that thing sealed up inside you is trying to awaken…! Fine, no choice. Go to the nurse’s office. Make sure she touches up your seal.” “Understood, sir. I’ll show myself out.” “All right! Has everyone got a partner? Get started, then!” I could hear the teacher behind me as I headed for the nurse’s office. It would be such a waste to burn up the hard-won calories from Yunyun’s breakfast just for some gym class. I got a legendary (and commercially available) nutrient drink from the nurse to keep up the power of my seal, then flopped down on a cot. In the quiet room, I pulled the sheets up to my neck, then lay there thinking about what our teacher had said. “Explosion magic is just a gimmick.” I pulled the sheets up even farther, over my head, and pretended I was asleep. “T-Teacher! It’s raining! It’s… It’s pouring! Teacher, we’ve seen how cool you are now; can’t you stop this dumb storm?!” “It’s washing away the principal’s prized tulips!” “Oh— Oh no! I forgot, today is the day when the moon, the source of magical power, is at its fullest…! All the magical strength I’d been holding back came pouring forth without my meaning it to…! I’ll do something about this storm! The rest of you, forget about me. Evacuate into the school!” “Teacherrrr! Just admit that you were only thinking about your performance, not how to stop the spell!” My eyes drifted shut to the sounds of shouting from the courtyard. 6 “Let me ask you something, Megumin. Why are you parading around in front of my seat, making a big deal about your skill-up potion? Is there something you’re trying to tell me?” “Nothing in particular… But I must say, Yunyun, your lunch looks delicious today.” “Y-you think so? I made a second lunch, other than the one you’ll take from me… A-and I’m not giving it to you! I have a lunch to use for wagers already, and if you take this one from me, I won’t have anything to eat, so I’m not getting into any contests over it!” “…” “Stop it. Don’t just swirl that potion in front of me. Hurry up and drink it!” “……” “I—I said, stop it! I swear, I’m not giving this to you! N-not even if you give me those puppy dog eyes………… I-I’ll only…give you half………” I was munching on Yunyun’s lunch when an announcement sounded through the school building. “The mysterious storm that came through this morning has been adjudged by Mr. Pucchin to be unquestionably the work of the Dark God sealed away in the corner of our village. The principal investigated as well and found clear evidence of the presence of magical power, indicating that the storm was artificially created. As all faculty will be required to help control the rain, afternoon classes are canceled. Going home will be dangerous on account of high winds, lightning, and intense rainfall, so students are instructed to remain at school and do self-study.” So our teacher had elected to blame this on the Dark God. Just as I was trying to decide how to turn this into a way to convince him to treat me to dinner, several students stood up. It looked like they were going to the school library to kill some time. Me, I had something I wanted to learn, too. I shoveled the rest of the lunch I’d gotten from Yunyun into my mouth… “H-half! I said I’d give you half!” she exclaimed as I returned the lunch box to her and followed the others to the library. There are a great many books in our school’s library, as one might expect of a place that produces as many magic-users as Crimson Magic Village. We have everything from fairy tales of dubious veracity to how-to books that serve no discernible purpose. Yunyun, who had decided to tag along without my permission, was going through the shelf of how-to manuals, searching for something. The Big Book of Forbidden Magical Spells for Making Friends Instantly. How Even a Snail Can Learn to Get Along. I didn’t know why she had picked those particular books, but I saw the way her eyes sparkled as she read them, so I decided to just leave her alone. Instead, I ran my finger along the other books, looking for one in particular. Secret Tales of the Birth of the Crimson Magic Clan. The Fall of the Country of Magical Technology. The Dukes of Hell, Vol. 4: The All-Seeing Demon. Rumors Revealed: The Truth About Alternate-World Dwellers Among Us. I passed over all the dumb and obviously irrelevant books until I found the one I was searching for. The Effectiveness of Explosion. I picked up the book and flipped the pages. Explosion magic boasts the greatest destructive power of any spell and is the ultimate offensive magic, capable of dealing damage to any entity or object. The exact method of learning Explosion has not come down to us in full, now being known only to those who have spent long periods of time researching magic or to nonhuman magic-users of tremendous age. My finger stopped there. …I wondered who or what it was I had seen using this spell. Further, because of the excessive difficulty of learning Explosion weighed against its limited usefulness, mages who acquire this spell are referred to as “pitfall wizards” and are frequently rejected when they offer to join adventuring parties. That caused my devotion to explosion magic to waver just a little. When I was a child, I had seen Explosion devastate all before it. Ever since then, I had been completely mesmerized by the spell and the person in that hood, but… It is simply impossible for magic-users of average intelligence to learn the spell at all, and the immense MP required means that even those who learn the spell are sometimes unable to use it. Why a spell like this was developed at all remains a mystery; currently, it is learned only by nonhuman spell-casters who have lived so long that they have enough skill points lying around to learn the spell on a whim……… …I decided not to read any more and put the book back on the shelf. I thought it might break me to keep going. Beside the Explosion book, another title caught my eye. The Unfettered Lord. Drawn by the unusual name, I picked up the book. It turned out to be the story of an elderly, demented former ruler who dragged his two nurses along as he wandered around, trying to set the world to rights. Some little thing gave away that the old man was a lord, whereupon a handful of villagers came to him to complain about an evil ruler, and the evil ruler tried to convince him that, no, the villagers were lying. The old man declared that it takes two to argue and launched himself at both the villagers and the evil ruler, who banded together to fight him off. The old man insisted that he was going to burn the place to the ground, whereupon his nurses calmed him down by telling him it was time for dinner. The villagers and the evil ruler, having fought on the same side together, discovered how wondrous it was to work with each other, and at last they built a metropolis to rival any city anywhere… …I wonder where Volume 2 is. As I was looking for more of the story, though, I overheard some very un-library-like talk. “Hang on—what have you got there? Whoa, ugh! What, don’t you have any friends?” I looked over and saw one of our classmates with Yunyun. This… This development called for…! “F-friends… Well, I…” “…Really don’t have any, right? Otherwise, why would you be reading……Fish Are Friends…? Sh-sheesh. Put this thing down. At least stick to mammals…” “That is quite enough!” I exclaimed, jumping out in front of them and pointing a finger at our classmate. “You are pathetic, teasing a young girl in pain! And later you will take advantage of that same wounded heart by pretending to be her friend and making all sorts of outrageous demands of her! Others you may deceive, but my eyes will not be blinded!” “What?!” It was obvious how deeply shaken our classmate was that I had seen through her plans so easily. “H-hold on—I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about! I just thought Yunyun’s book looked interesting…” “M-Megumin, what’s wrong with you? Have you been reading some weird book that’s been giving you ideas? She—she was just talking to me…” I ignored the excuses of Yunyun and our classmate. “No, I simply scented trouble, and since I had some time to kill, I decided to butt in. Also, considering that I cut class earlier, I was feeling bad being the only one who hadn’t made a dramatic entrance.” ““That’s ridiculous!”” both girls shouted at me, and that was when the library door flew open. “Hey, you kids, pipe down in here! Library voices! We somehow managed to stop the rain the Dark God sent. I guess the principal and I together are stronger than that evil spirit.” “Teacher, didn’t you say something about your own power overflowing? I sort of feel bad for that god with you pinning everything on them,” our classmate jibed, all too aware of the way our teacher’s story kept changing. “No, when the villagers went to check on the tomb of the Dark God, they found the seal actually was broken. Some idiot must have been playing with it. Several shards of the seal are missing. They tell me the god, or one of their servants, could have come popping out at any time. The seal targeted the Dark God, so it’s less effective on their servants, who might be able to slip past it. Until they finish the resealing, you should make sure to go home in groups.” Such was what the teacher told us. 7 “Hey, have you heard? It was seven years ago. Back when we were kids, there was another time the Dark God’s seal almost broke, or so they say. You know that big crater in front of the tomb? That’s supposed to be from when a wandering wizard sealed up the Dark God.” The story seemed to be on all my classmates’ lips when I got back to the classroom. Even in a rustic area like this, people loved to share weird rumors. I had been young enough that I didn’t remember the events too clearly, but I at least understood that this “wandering wizard” was the hooded person who had rescued me. All the school’s teachers had gone to have a look at the tomb, so apparently, we students were free to go home for the day. Our classmates filtered out, sticking close to other girls who lived near them, until only Yunyun and I were left in the classroom. My house was on the very edge of Crimson Magic Village, so I didn’t have any neighbors to go home with. Then again, another reason I’d been left behind might have had something to do with my tendency to spot classmates who were eating somewhere and edge up to them, saying, “Oh, hey, that looks awfully good.” I got out of my seat, resigned to going home alone. “Oh…” Yunyun, left in the classroom like me, reached out a hand as if to stop me and made a little sound. “What is it?” “Oh! N-nothing, I just… I was just thinking, Megumin, your house is right on the way to my house, and…” Yunyun’s house was in fact the one belonging to the chief of the village, which stood smack in the middle of town. My house was hardly “on the way.” In fact, it would mean a considerable detour… “…Would you like to go home together?” I asked. “Could we?! Oh, but with us being rivals, we shouldn’t get too close…!” Yunyun had looked so thrilled, but she immediately followed it up with some kind of obnoxious statement. I pattered out of the classroom, leaving her to follow me, almost in tears. “Wait for me! T-tomorrow! Tomorrow we go back to being rivals, okay?!” When Yunyun and I got outside, the sky was still heavy with clouds. Had our teacher really effected such a dramatic change in the weather just for his little show? Our teacher might be a worthless person in a great many ways, but I would give credit where credit was due: The willingness to burn an expensive talisman for the sake of one single instant was the mark of a first-class Crimson Magic Clansman. I was walking assiduously homeward, Yunyun following behind, when she said, “S-say, Megumin. Do you have some time? I mean, uh, if you don’t mind…” Then she invited me to go have a little snack somewhere. Her treat, no less. “I have, of course, no reason to refuse you. To what do I owe this curious turn of events?” “Huh? Erm, I was just hungry…” Yunyun blushed as if she was downright embarrassed. “Well, I suppose you are a growing girl, so it can’t be helped. But I must wonder whether it’s proper for a young woman to display such an appetite.” “Hold on a second! How can you of all people say that, Megumin?! For that matter, I’m hungry because you ate my lunch! A-and…” Yunyun’s voice suddenly got smaller. “A-anyway, I thought getting something to eat with a friend, stopping off somewhere on the way home… It just… I thought it sounded…fun…” “Hrm? What was that you said?” I deliberately turned my ear toward the muttering Yunyun. Red-faced, she insisted it was nothing, but I continued to harangue her about it until she repeated her words, even if she cried while she did it. 8 “G’day to you! Welcome to the greatest among the cafés of the Crimson Magic Clan—mine! Ah, if it isn’t Megumin, Hyoizaburou’s girl. I’ve heard how hard you’re working at school. They say you’re the greatest genius of the Crimson Magic Clan. A meal out’s a special occasion for you. What’ll ya have?” “Something with plenty of calories that will keep me full for a long time, please.” “Megumin, that order isn’t very ladylike! Erm, we’ll have whatever you recommend today, sir…” Yunyun and I were on the terrace of the only café in town. The owner, who apparently knew my father, gave us menus. “My recommendation, eh? Today I think you should try the Dark-God-Blessed Stew or the Rock-Wurm Spicy Spaghetti.” “The spicy spaghetti, please.” “I’ll have this Lambwich Offering to the Magical Deity, please.” “Sure thing! One Rock-Wurm Spicy Spaghetti and one Lambwich Offering to the Magical Deity! Coming right up!” “You know, I’ll have the spaghetti, please!” For some reason, Yunyun blushed and changed her order; meanwhile, I nursed the fruit water I’d requested. “Say, Megumin. I know this is sudden, but can I ask you something?” “What is it? Given that you have treated me to a meal, I will answer most any question. Are you curious about my weakness? Currently, my weakness is sweets. A dessert after my meal.” “That’s not what I’m asking about! And what do you mean, weakness? You always eat enough for three people!” “Do they not say that sweet things are the enemy of a fair maiden? But what is it that you wanted to ask me?” Despite my encouragement, Yunyun hesitated a moment longer. Just looking at her, I’m afraid, made me want to tease the poor girl. “Megumin, uh, do you…? Do you have a guy you like or anything?” I jumped to my feet. “Yunyun, you’ve turned downright scandalous!” Yunyun was practically weeping. “N-no, I haven’t! Aren’t friends supposed to talk about, you know, their love lives and things when they chat together?! I just wanted to have one of those conversations! I’m not secretly implying there’s somebody I like or anything!” Her words mollified me enough to get me to sit back down. “How do I put this? Yunyun, you’ve always seemed rather odd for the Crimson Magic Clan. I heard how in gym you were practically too embarrassed to even strike a properly dramatic pose.” “I—I am weird, aren’t I?! Ever since I was little, I’ve never quite felt like I was really one of the people of this village…” What I’d said seemed to upset Yunyun. I knew she was strange. Maybe this was the side of her that left her isolated in class. “So what type of guy do you like, Yunyun?” “Huh?!” She was completely shocked to have me turn the tables on her. “Isn’t this what you wanted? A little love chat? Incidentally, I want a self-reliant man with no debt. Someone who would never be fickle and never cheat on me. Someone who always looks onward and upward and isn’t afraid to work hard every day to achieve his goals. Someone serious and loyal.” “Serious and loyal, huh? You have a surprisingly kind and thoughtful streak, Megumin, so I thought you might like exactly the opposite. Someone worthless who never— Ow, ow! I—I was just kidding! …Me, I want someone studious and grown-up, someone who’ll listen politely to me while I tell him about my day…” It was a calm afternoon. My self-proclaimed rival and I passed it in a long, meandering conversation as we worked our way home. 9 “I’m back!” “Welcome home, Sis!” Upon my return home, I was greeted by an excited voice and a pattering of feet. This welcome came from my younger sister, Komekko, who had just turned five years old. She was wearing a hand-me-down robe of mine, and the hem of the overlong outfit was muddy. “Argh… I see you’ve gotten mud on the hem of your robe. I told you to watch the house while I was gone, but you’ve been out playing somewhere again, haven’t you?” “Yep! I chased off the guy from the newspaper place, and then I went out to play!” “Oh-ho, notched up another victory today? That’s my little sister.” “Uh-huh! When I said, ‘I haven’t had solid food in three daaays!’ he left me a meal ticket!” Komekko proudly showed me the fruits of her labors. As I mussed her hair, Komekko noticed something. “Sis, you smell good.” “Ah, that’s my little sister again. I’ve brought you a present. A Lambwich Offering to the Magical Deity! Now then, eat until your very stomach explodes!” “Awesome! I feel like I’ve become the Demon King himself! Okay, we can save the dinner I caught for breakfast tomorrow!” Komekko was thrilled with the sandwich gift, but I hadn’t been expecting what she said. …The dinner she caught? Recalling the time Komekko had collected a bunch of cicadas and suggested we fry them up for food, I was a little concerned. “Komekko, what’s this dinner you speak of? What have you caught?” “Wanna see? It’s a brutal, pitch-black magical beast I brought down after a life-and-death struggle!” And with that rather perplexing remark, she disappeared into the house. Please don’t let it be bugs. Please don’t let it be bugs! I could only wait and pray until Komekko returned, holding… “Mrrrow…” …what appeared to be an absolutely exhausted black kitten. What in the world had happened to it? “…That’s quite some prey you have there.” “Uh-huh. I really worked hard for it! She tried to fight me at first, but when I bit back, she saw things my way.” “I’m certainly glad you emerged victorious, but remember our conversation about not biting things at random?” Komekko nodded seriously at me, and I took the kitten from her. The animal curled up into my chest; she must’ve been through something pretty awful.
Chapter 2
35 min read