“…Rae?” I couldn’t see her, but just hearing her name was enough to make my heart stir. I thought I had resigned myself already. I thought I was prepared to die so she might live on in the new era. I thought I was ready to spend my numbered days without her. And yet…
Rae…you came!
I hadn’t eaten much these past few days, nor slept much, for that matter—perhaps because I kept seeing her in my dreams. I was at my limit, physically and mentally, so I couldn’t help but be excited at her arrival. I got up, about to burst through the door and break out of the room—then stopped.
I turned and saw my father’s gentle but sad expression. My heated emotions cooled all at once.
…If I leave, my father will be all alone, I realized. Of course, he probably wanted nothing more than for me to go. But I could not bring myself to let him die alone.
“Father, come wi—”
“I’m afraid I cannot, Claire.” He turned me down before I could even say the words.
“Why, Father?!”
“The people need something to make the end of our era feel real. My death is perfect for marking the end of the old world.” He stood by the window and looked outside. “You are loved dearly, Claire.”
His tone was hard to describe, a complicated mix of exasperation and envy. I neared the window and looked out as well. I was not surprised by what I saw.
“Rae…”
She’d come alone. Salas’s private soldiers blocked her way, their bodies clad in magic armor. Her expression was one of desperation as she flung her magic outward like it was the last chance she’d ever have to do so.
“It’s not too late, Claire. You can still go to her,” my father said. His gaze remained fixed on Rae. I didn’t say a word in response. I couldn’t. He sighed. “I was ultimately unable to do so myself, but a life lived solely for the sake of love is by no means a poor life. I can shoulder the sins of the old world well enough on my own.”
Feeling his gaze on me, I turned to look at him. On his face was an expression I had never seen from him before. “…Father?”
“I haven’t been a very good father to you, have I, Claire?”
“That’s not true!”
“No, it is. Ever since I lost Melia, I devoted myself to nothing but trying to bring down the nobility.”
I couldn’t make sense of what he was trying to say. Did he feel like he hadn’t been there for me? But I’d never once begrudged him for anything.
He continued. “To that end, I’ve sacrificed many things. My beliefs, my ideals, my money, my pride…even my one and only beloved daughter.”
“Please stop, Father. I understand very well why you did what you did. I’ve never once doubted you loved me.” I grew up spoiled. I was a selfish noble, and I was not afraid to admit it. But I knew my spoiled nature was a result of my father’s doting love.
“I raised you as a noble should, Claire…but I cannot say with confidence that I have raised you with the love of a father.”
“Father…”
“I planned to have you die with me for the sake of my scheme, for crying out loud. Even a complete outsider like Rae could see plain and clear how wrong of me that was.”
This was the first time I’d ever seen my father so vulnerable. He doubted the sincerity of his own love for me, and whether he’d been wrong to place his grand plan before my life. He’d probably never shared these thoughts with another living soul. He’d kept them bottled up inside for who knew how long, being tormented by them.
“…Father, could you please step away from the window for a moment?”
“Claire?”
“Quickly, please.”
“…Of course.” Though confused, he obliged.
…Rae, thank you for coming. I’m happy I could see you one last time before dying. I raised my magic wand up high. Salas hadn’t had our wands confiscated. Perhaps he had predicted this far?
“Claire? What are you doing?”
“Light! Magic Ray!” Four beams of light shot from the François family crests I summoned. The light tore through the window and seared the ground of the courtyard, leaving a mark. Just past the point of impact, Rae looked up at me in a daze. I was certain she understood what I meant to say.
“Claire…”
“This is my choice, Father.”
I watched Rae collapse to her knees. Manaria appeared out of nowhere, scooped up Rae, and fled with her in her arms.
“I, Claire François—beloved daughter of Dole François, Bauer’s great Minister of Finance—shall meet my end in November of Kingdom Year 2015.” Once Manaria and Rae were completely gone from sight, I turned around and faced my father. “Father, you were the greatest man Bauer has ever known, both as a noble and as a politician.”
“Claire…”
“You were also the most loving father there ever was, and the greatest father I could have asked for.”
“Oh, Claire…” He wrapped his arms tightly around me.
“It is my honor to die as a noble. This pride I hold on to is something I’ve inherited from you and my late mother. I wouldn’t give it up for the world.”
“Thank you, Claire. I understand what you mean.”
My feelings seemed to get through to him. With all my love, my resolve as a noble, and everything else, I hugged my father back.
“You truly are Melia’s child,” he said.
“Of course. Let’s go apologize to her together once this is all over,” I said.
For a brief, brief moment, my father frowned. Before I could think much of it, however, his usual dignified expression returned. I assumed I’d simply been mistaken about what I saw.
“Indeed… She deserves an apology.”
“Mother is kind, though. I’m sure she’ll forgive us.”
“…Yes, I’m sure she will.”
There was a great commotion downstairs. I later learned Rae’s raid had almost been successful. Salas’s private soldiers were defeated, as was Alter. In a panic, Salas came by and announced our execution was being moved up.
My lingering doubts were gone. Rae should have given up after the message I’d just sent. My resolve should have been made clear to her. Manaria had come to take her away, and I was sure I could count on her to comfort Rae when I was gone. I could meet my end with no regrets now.
I wouldn’t realize how wrong I was until much later. But for now, in this moment, I genuinely believed I was ready.