“After everyone else was cleared out of the room, I told him I found his cause admirable, but I was worried you would get caught up in it.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Master Dole planned to sacrifice not only himself, but you as well, Miss Claire. He loves you from the bottom of his heart, but he had given up on saving the country any other way.”
That was understandable, given our duty as nobles. Even after hearing my father planned to have me die alongside him, I held no grudge against him. If anything, I thought he was right to make such a choice.
“So I offered him another choice. I gave him an option that would let you live even when the nobles were overthrown. And he took it.”
That must have been where the plan for me to split off from the nobles of the old world and oppose them came in.
“Everything up to this point was all to make this possible. We’ve improved your reputation, distanced you from the rest of nobility—all so you could live in the era to come.”
“So, then—you! You knew this from the beginning?!”
I had trusted her. I had trusted her to the point life without her became unthinkable. She had stayed by my side to support me all this time…but it was all for a lie?
“Yes. I knew that the revolution would happen, and the result would be the downfall of the aristocrats. None of that could be prevented.”
“But I—I trusted you!”
She closed her eyes and said, “I’m so sorry, Miss Claire. I will accept any punishment you choose.”
She sounded so indifferent that I unwittingly raised my hand in anger. I swung my hand at her cheek…but I couldn’t bring myself to hit her.
“…I can’t believe you two.”
Rae and my father had lied to me. A tremendous lie too. Not one I could easily forgive. But I wasn’t so foolish that I couldn’t understand why they did what they did. They lied for my sake. They lied so I could live, even if the nobility met its end. It was a fatherly lie. It was a lover’s lie. It was a lie that made my emotions overflow and stream down my cheeks.
“I want you to join the revolutionary government now. I’ve already arranged things with Arla.”
I didn’t say a word. Rae seemed to have everything planned out for me. She’d probably predicted all this a long time ago, accounting for each and every little detail.
“…Soon, the royal family will pass the Royal Standard to the revolutionary government. When that happens, the aristocracy will become the rebels. You will convict them.”
But she forgot one important, important thing… Oh, Rae. How could you forget…
“…Miss Claire?”
I ignored her and stood up, nearing the window. Nothing had changed. The fighting still continued outside. “Hey, Rae? What sort of life do you think I would have if I became a commoner?”
It was an impossibility. But I still wanted to know what she thought.
“Well… At first, there will be a lot to learn. Like when you spent time at my house during vacation.”
“Indeed.” I nodded without turning around to face her. It hadn’t been that long since I visited her family home, and yet it felt like an eternity ago.
“But you’ll get used to it quickly. And I’ll always be there to take care of you.”
“I see… So you will live with me?”
“Of course. I’ll work hard and do everything I can for you.”
“Yes. I think I will need that.”
The life she spoke of would be a pleasant one, I was sure. So long as she was there to support me, any life would be joyous.
“Let’s get a dog,” she suggested.
“I prefer a cat.”
We would live a modest life.
“Maybe start a garden?”
“So long as I can grow some flowers.”
A life humbler than what I knew, but peaceful.
“How many children should we have?”
“We can’t have children.”
“Then let’s adopt.”
“I want two cute little girls.” I answered her questions, then paused. Eventually, I said, “I believe you would never let me be unhappy.” But I was not meant for such a thing, Rae. “I…”
“Huh?” she said. My voice had been too shaky for her to hear. “Miss Claire?”
“I said I refuse. I refuse to join up with the revolutionaries.” I turned around and looked at Rae head-on, my voice firm now. She seemed taken aback, making a face I couldn’t help but find comical.
“What are you saying, Miss Claire? This is the only way.”
“No. There’s another way. I can choose to fall with the old era and my peers.”
Rae, I understand well how you and Father feel. But this is who I am.
“No… It’s pointless! That wouldn’t make anyone happy!”
“No, probably not.”
“Master Dole—and me too, we did all this for you, so you can live—”
“Yes, and I am grateful for that.”
I was calm. Calm enough to put my true thoughts into words. It was all so clear to me now. Rae…I…
“Wait…wait a second. Are you angry with us for not telling you what was going on? Please, I apologize. But if we had told you—”
“I’m sure I would have refused.”
I loved you more than I even knew.
“I know you and my father had my best interests in mind. I’m not angry.”
“Then why?!”
“Because…” Forgive me, Rae. “…I am a noble.”
She was at a complete loss for words.
I continued, “An aristocrat enjoys their stature and luxuries in exchange for acquitting their duties when called upon to do so. The reason I have been allowed to live such a selfish life is so I could, once more, when this day came, fulfill my duties.”
“You don’t have to! Not anymore!”
“No. I will see to my final obligation—and that is to submit to the will of the people, as an aristocrat and as a relic of the era coming to an end.”
Rae…you were more than just someone I admired. You are my first, and only, love.
“Miss Claire, please think this through. Wouldn’t you like to live in the new era together with me?” I could hear the sorrow in her voice.
“I’m so sorry, Rae. I cannot grant your wish.”
“But you…you promised me. You said you wouldn’t give up until the very end.”
The days I spent with you were a treasure I wouldn’t give up for the world.
“Ah, you’re right. I remember that. It feels like so long ago.”
“No…no… Miss Claire, don’t leave me!” she begged me, like a child. So unlike her.
“I’m very sorry, Rae.” I put my hand on her cheek, then gently…stole her lips. “To apologize for breaking my promise, I offer you my first kiss.”
With this, I had no more lingering regrets.
“Farewell, Rae. Be well.”
I departed the room then, leaving her in a daze.
Rae, Rae, my dearest Rae. I’m sorry. I cannot sacrifice everything for love like you. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, but please…
“Live on in the new era.”