He’s in a lady’s presence—isn’t he using the word stink too much?
I’m a little shocked. To be honest, I thought he would throw me out of the palace.
“So what’s your real name?”
“……Alicia.”
He’s seen my face. No harm in him knowing my real name. I just need to make sure he doesn’t find out I’m of the Durkis nobility.
“Ah, Lia from Alicia.” Victor nods in understanding. “One more question. Are you from Durkis…of the nobility?”
Urk—he goes straight for the vitals, doesn’t he? Maybe I shouldn’t have revealed my real name yet. Just how much intel does Laval have on Durkis’s noble houses?
The two nations have next to no diplomatic relations. He may know of the royal family, but not necessarily of the name of the daughter of one of the Great Five noble houses… What’s the correct response to give here?
I think for a little while, then answer, “If I am of the nobility……then wouldn’t I be quite the baddie?” I twist my lips into an exaggerated smug smile.
“Huh?”
“I wouldn’t be exiled unless I committed some serious crime.”
“…Why do you sound pleased by that? Well…no matter. You’re a freak. That fact will never change.”
How rude. On what planet am I a freak?
“Incidentally…everyone in this kingdom—not just the nobility—can speak the ancient tongue. Can you?”
Victor’s surprise question catches me flat-footed.
The ancient tongue…? Why, that’s my specialty!
I learned every ancient language during the two years I spent holed up in that cottage.
“Where can I get myself a new blindfold?” I ask smugly, in the desired language.
His yellow-green eyes dilate in shock.
…Why is he so shocked? Doesn’t everybody in this kingdom know how to speak the ancient tongue?
After a pause…
“Come with me,” he answers, in the same language. “Shit, not even military officers can speak the ancient tongue.”
Victor mutters something under his breath, but I don’t catch it. I shrug it off and walk behind him. He gives me a new cloth, so I cover my eyes and tie it around my head.
…This one’s a great improvement to my peripheral vision from the last. It’s clean and sturdy, too. It also doesn’t stink. In fact, it smells quite nice.
“I’m going to have you begin military training now. You’ll also study academics. Also…you’ll be my bodyguard when I go on expeditions.”
I gotta crane my neck to look at that tall order.
I get to train, I get to study, and I get to go on expeditions that will help me learn even more about this kingdom…
O dear God, I thank thee for bestowing this divine opportunity upon me. I cannot thank thee enough.
“Our soldiers aren’t bad eggs, but they’ll probably abuse a kid like you to make sure you’re committed—be ready for that.”
Well, this is my first time being on the other side of abuse. A villainess is always the abuser, not the abusee.
Victor glares at me in annoyance as I smile haughtily. “Are you even listening to me?”
“Yes. You’ve made your concern for my well-being quite clear.”
“That smug confidence really pisses me off.”
Why would I be confident? I’ve had my back against the wall ever since I arrived in Laval.
“By the way, what became of that lion? Is it still alive?”
“He’s doing quite well, thank you.”
Though I’ll never tell him I healed the lion with magic and gave him a power-up.
“You gonna keep it as a pet?”
“Yes, that’s the plan. I’ve given him a name, too. It’s Lai. Beautiful, isn’t it?”
As I answer proudly, Victor bursts out laughing.
Excuse me? What exactly about this conversation does he find so hilarious?
“What’s so funny?”
“Come on…you named it…Lai. So, wait, if you get another lion, are you gonna name it On? And together, they’re Lai On?” Victor cackles maniacally.
He’s mocking me… That’s what he’s doing, right?
Lai is an adorable name. It even rhymes with rye, like The Catcher in the Rye. J. D. Salinger would approve.
“Don’t sulk. I was laughing for you, not at you. You’re welcome.”
So this is the guy who knows my weakness. I can’t believe I let it slip.
……It really irks me that everywhere I go, princes always have the upper hand with me. Just wait. I’ll overcome both Victor and Duke, even if it kills me.
“Oh, and one more thing,” Victor says. “The tallest tower in the palace—don’t go near it.”
“That sounds an awful lot like you want me to go near it…”
Is this one of those death flags I used to hear about?
I only get halfway through that thought before I realize what Victor is implying.
“I’ll never go near there!”
“Well…we’ll see about that.” He smirks.
His tone says he knows I’ll go to the tower.
Well, now I’m dying to know more. I want to go there crazy bad… But I can’t let myself. I’ll be playing right into Victor’s hands.
What is up with that tower, though? Is somebody locked up in there? Or…is it a trap?
“Hey, rookie! Are you listening to me?!”
The voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I open my eye to see a rugged face shoved in mine.
My goodness…what a gruff expression he’s got there. If he furrows those brows any farther, he’ll chase all the happiness away.
“You’ve been daydreaming since the second you got here. It’s bad enough I can’t tell what you’re thinking with that blindfold on. If you don’t wanna be here, go run on home to Mommy.”
He’s absolutely right. Even one lazy member of a platoon can plunge morale into chaos.
“I’m terribly sorry, sir!” I shout, bowing my head deeply.
That’s right, Alicia. You’ve come to Laval as a mole to dig up its secrets.
Seemingly surprised by my honest apology, the man asks cheerfully, “Rookie…what’s your name?”
“Lia.”
“I’m Marius. Reed Marius, captain of this platoon. Listen, kid, we are Prince Victor’s special forces. Soldiers desperately claw their way to get here…and yet His Highness throws this random kid into our fold. I have no idea what he’s thinking.”
“I can prove my worth.”
My words make his face tense.
Oops, I think I made him angry. Silly Alicia, your Villainess Points won’t go up if you piss people off when you’re a boy.
“That’s some mouth you’ve got, rookie. Drop and give me two hundred.”
“Huh?”
That’s all? Only two hundred? If he’s trying to punish me, it should be at least one thousand, no?
“Aw, he’s scared.”
“You’re a cruel man, Captain. Nobody makes a scrawny kid like that do that many push-ups right off the bat.”
“I bet he doesn’t even last a week.”
“Nah, three days, tops.”
“I give him one day.”
One after another, the soldiers place their bets.
Do I really seem so gutless? How rude.
“And if you mess up, you start the count over at one,” the captain says.
“Hey, he’s new. Maybe you shouldn’t—” A soldier with cream-colored hair tries to talk down Captain Marius.
I interject. “That’s all?”
He must be the lieutenant if he talks back to the captain. He’s thinner than the captain, but well muscled. Funny, no matter how hard I try, I can never bulk up. I envy him, strangely enough.
“Hey, kid, don’t stir up shit,” he warns me.
“Nah, I like the idea. Okay, rookie, give me five hundred push-ups—no stopping.”
“Sure thing.”
I drop to the ground and assume a plank position.
“One more thing—address your superior officers with respect.” Captain Marius’s voice sounds from above.
“Understood, sir,” I answer obediently, then begin my push-ups.
“Wh-whoa, is he for real…?”
“Just where does all that strength come from in those skinny arms?”
“Three hundred ninety-eight…three hundred ninety-nine…four hundred…four hundred one…”
As the soldiers around me start to murmur in amazement, I can tell Captain Marius is faltering a little. I watch my own sweat drip onto the ground as I continue.
……This is starting to hurt. It has been a while. But I’ve been training since I was seven. There’s nothing I can’t do.
“Four hundred eleven…four hundred twelve…four hundred thir…teen…”
“He hasn’t slowed down… What grit. Now I understand why Prince Victor took a liking to him,” the presumed lieutenant mutters.
I absolutely hate the idea of my own blunders making somebody else lose face. Even if it’s Victor’s stupid face we’re talking about. My ego won’t allow it. I’m gonna keep up the pace all the way until my five hundredth push-up.
“Four hundred forty-seven…four hundred…forty-eight…”
“Don’t kill yourself. Maybe slow down?”
“No.”
You’ve fought hard every day to make your mark in history, Alicia. You can’t let yourself crap out over some measly push-ups.
I pump myself up and push even harder.
“The little shit… He’s going faster.”
“Unbelievable.”
Nobody would ever think I’m a dignified, apex aristocrat.
“Four hundred eighty-three…eighty-four…eighty-five…eighty-six…”
“Why is he getting faster and faster?”
“He’s superhuman…no, beyond that.”
The men around me grow louder and louder. Some of them start to cheer.
“Go, Bitsy! You got this!”
“You’ve got this! Just a bit more!”
Hard to believe they were all against me a little while ago. Even an apex baddie like myself appreciates a cheering crowd.