If my body and heart transformed into those of a wicked demon, maybe she would be the one to deal out the punishment I deserved.
Maybe I could tell her the truth after all.
I’d been hiding these dark secrets all along.
“Alice, would you listen to me talk about my past?”
“Of course. You’ve never told me about it before.”
Alice seemed pleased.
That only hurt me more. What I wanted to tell her was something dreadful, after all.
The two of us sat on the bed with the same sheet wrapped around us.
That was all it took to bring relief from the frigid room. My throat felt less tense than before.
“…The previous Earl Knightley couldn’t conceive children. It was a terrible problem.” Alice winced at the already heavy subject, but I continued. “He used sorcery to summon a demon into his wife’s body. Ten months and ten days later, she gave birth to a demon boy with a pair of horns. The countess went mad when she saw it.”
She never knew her husband summoned a demon. She’d believed her pregnancy was natural all along, so she refused to accept the demon as her child.
“My mother always called me a ‘monster’ when I was young.”
“That’s terrible…”
Alice’s face fell. She’d been loved by her parents and servants, so it was hard for her to imagine. She could never comprehend a life of abuse at the hands of her mother.
“Mother wailed whenever she saw me, so I only ever met her a few times. When I still couldn’t hide my horns at the Tweedles’ age, Father finally had to send me to the Liddell manor when he heard you were experts in demons. That was where we first met, and I finally learned to hide them. I was so happy, I went straight to my mother as soon as I was home.”
I thought she would be happy when she saw the source of her disgust was gone.
I believed she would accept me as her beloved son.
Mother lived at our London home, not in the Knightley domain. When I took my hat off and rushed up to her, she went pale.
“Why have you come here, you monster?!”
“Even though you were hiding your horns?” Alice asked.
“The horns weren’t the problem for her. She only ever saw me as the demon who’d invaded her womb, not an actual son. There I was, desperately trying to hide my horns so she would love me, but it didn’t mean a thing to her in the end.”
After that, she erupted with enough verbal abuse to last me a lifetime.
“Are you trying to trick humans by hiding your horns? I never wanted to give birth to you. It’s all your fault that I’m miserable. Die, die, die!”
I hesitated to recite such things to Alice, so I kept the details to myself. She peered out from under the sheets, looking at me with concern.
“What happened to your mother after that?”
“She died. She shouted at me until she had a heart attack.”
Mother suddenly went completely silent like a machine that broke down. Then she collapsed. I lifted her and called out to her.
“Are you all right, Mother?! It’s me, Dark!”
I don’t know what was going through her mind, but her face twisted with pain. Mother used the last of her strength to look up at my face and say…
“If only you’d never been born.”
And then she was gone.
Everything went pitch black. I would never be loved by my mother, no matter what else I tried. Even though there was never an answer in the first place.
Horns or not, I wasn’t any son in her eyes.
“Father and Gramps both told me it was a fluke, but I’ve always felt that I killed my mother.”
“That’s not true!” I pictured Alice saying that and suddenly felt lonely. I didn’t need sympathy. I only wanted her to know about me.
Regardless of who was responsible, nothing would change the fact that my mother died screaming at me. I intended to carry that sin for the rest of my life. I needed no comfort to lessen that burden.
Alice had listened silently to my heavy life story. I waited for her to respond until finally…
“That must have been so painful.”
That was all she said.
I was shocked. It was such a simple response.
“That’s it?” I asked.
“That’s it. I’m sure you’ve decided to punish yourself for life over this. If anyone wants to tell you you’re wrong, that’s a matter of their own ego. If someone’s lived for years trying to atone for a sin, convincing them of their innocence will only cause them more grief, not free them from guilt.”
“…I see. That’s right. That’s the kind of girl you are.”
I started to laugh—Alice’s indifference was just so amusing. She watched me tremble and tear up with laughter, obviously displeased.
“You’re laughing at me again, aren’t you?” she pouted.
“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy.”
Alice always found words that surpassed my wildest expectations. She had the nerve to withstand the most extraordinary things and the wisdom to understand that sympathy could do more harm than good.
I may be a demon who killed my mother, but Alice never changed.
The more I learned of her, the harder I fell for her.
My love for Alice washed away the anguish filling my body all this time.
“Alice, don’t hesitate to kill me the next time I hurt you.”
Before I destroy you like I did my mother.
“I have every intention.” Alice took the gun out of her pouch, pressed it to my forehead, and laughed wildly. “If you ever betray me, I’ll put a hole in your head that’s a lot more eye-catching than those horns. Got it?”
Seeing her cackle with a weapon in her hands made her look like a witch.
No, considering her age, “villainess” is a better fit.
“Ah… Alice, may I finally share the feelings I’ve kept inside while we were apart? I love that side of you, too.”
“Can you not speak before I’ve given you permission?”
“My apologies. No one likes a gentleman who only talks about himself.”
Once I cracked a joke, she put the gun down.
“I see you’re back to your normal self, so let me ask you something while you’re in a good mood. I think we’re about to find our demon. I’ve ruled it down to either the headmaster or one of the teachers.”
Alice explained her suspicions that a demon’s spell had made the teachers immortal. The source of these rumors was the student body itself. She’d also found that the headmaster and teachers’ names hadn’t changed since the founding of the school, according to a record book.
“The problem is what to do after we find the demon,” she said. “We’re going to need some sort of advantage to undo the spell, but stigmata can’t use their powers on demons. Can you still help us in your current state?”
“Not a problem. My demon powers don’t depend on my body size.”
Demons existed in a hierarchy of strength. Bernard, the Rose Demon, and Susie, the Mirror Demon, were nobility in Hell as well. I would have probably become a demon who slaughtered humans like them if I’d been born in Hell.
“I’ll come with you when it’s time to lure out the demon,” I said.
“Thank you. That’s a big relief!”
The gleeful look on her face was adorable, too. I touched my nearby cane.
If the trap-laying demon was amongst the teachers, I couldn’t help but wonder what the strange, constant presence I’d felt in Unicorn Dorm was.
I kept that question to myself and listened intently to Alice’s plans.