Alex had gone to the trouble of bringing back such precious meat, so we put him on spectator duty while Joanne and I started cutting up the ingredients.
“Ah!” Alex’s cry of shock rang out immediately. Trouble, right out of the gate.
Thanks to Joanne’s monstrous strength, the table we were using in place of a cutting board had been sliced clean in half.
Wood chips sprayed into the air. With a loud clatter, what had been a functional table seconds ago collapsed into scattered planks across the floor.
Joanne brought a hand to her mouth with a whoops sort of guilty look, only for her expression to snap right back into its usual bold confidence as she snorted.
“How’s that? I’ve got a good feel for this, don’t I?”
“Is that supposed to be a joke?” I asked.
“Tch. My bad,” she said.
“No, I should’ve said something first.”
“Yeah, really. What would you have done if you ruined the ingredients? Hah… think about your actions, Oakley.”
“What are you even talking about?”
If I left this muscle-brained woman to her own devices, we’d have holes in the floor next, so I moved in behind her and took her hands like a two-person coat trick, guiding her grip. She seemed more than ready to just let me handle it; she relaxed completely and leaned her full weight back against me.
“This is how you do it,” I said.
“Hmm.”
“Simple enough, right?”
“If someone told you to cut just the tip off a feather, a single filament, could you do it perfectly?”
That hard, huh?
Well, given that a casual swipe from her could bisect a table, ingredients probably felt like dust motes to her, light enough to scatter if she breathed on them.
Alex watched us with a soft, gentle smile that somehow felt exactly like a con artist sizing up his marks.
Maybe that look rubbed her the wrong way, because Joanne suddenly plunged her hand into the strangled carcass, yanked out the guts, and ripped the pelt off in one swift, brutal motion.
Once we finished all the prep work, we set the pot on the tiny built-in fireplace, tossed in the ingredients and seasonings, and shut the lid.
“Now we just wait, I guess,” I said.
“I thought it’d just be ‘chop it and burn it,’ but this takes longer than I expected,” Joanne muttered.
While we chatted, the lid began to rattle. I checked that it was boiling, lifted the pot off the fire, and set it down between the three of us.
The moment I flipped the lid open, steam billowed up and swallowed our vision. A mouthwatering aroma rose with it, and all three of us let out low, involuntary groans.
None of us said a word.
Unlike the lowest-of-the-low mystery meat we usually got in the Northeastern Branch, this was real meat. A proper dish. Between the midnight hunger and the anticipation, our hearts were pounding.
Alex, as the one who’d hunted the animal, took point. When he stuck his fork into a piece of meat, the fibers fell apart softly.
Unable to hold back any longer, Alex lifted the piece and guided it onto his extended tongue.
Then he bit down. His eyes flew open as wide as they would go.
“Delici—”
Before the word could fully escape, Joanne’s fork flashed. Faster than anything she’d shown in training, her strike neatly stole the meat right off his fork.
“Hey—!” Alex yelped.
A beat behind, I hurriedly snatched up my own share of meat. The nuts and foraged greens got no love at all; the meat was so popular it vanished at a terrifying pace, so the only option was to grab it before someone else did.
Realizing the situation, both their expressions sharpened, predatory glints lighting their eyes.
Cutlery whirled around the pot at the center like we were in an actual knife fight.
There wasn’t a scrap of table manners to be found. This was a serious battle.
We tore into the meat, gulped down the rich, soaked-through broth, scraped up the last bits of meat and leaves from the bottom, and just like that, the bloodthirsty little feast was over.
My spoon clinked against the bare metal at the bottom of the pot. When the three of us peered in together, it was completely empty.
“It’s already gone…?” Joanne murmured.
“You eat way too fast, Joanne-sama.”
“You’re the ones who panicked,” Alex grumbled. “I wanted to savor it more…”
They sounded disappointed but both looked deeply satisfied.
As for me, a tidal wave of happiness crashed over my chest, and I let myself tip backward and flop onto the floor, staring up at the ceiling with a stupid, contented smile.
I’d originally planned to just cook with Joanne, but eating together like this, the three of us… It was the right call. I feel a lot lighter now.
Since being reborn into this world, I hadn’t felt this good even once.
When I pushed myself upright and glanced at the other two, they were both slouched in their seats, eyes half-lidded, wearing the loose, satisfied expressions of people in an exceptionally good mood.
“I guess I’m actually a cooking genius,” Joanne murmured, throat rumbling with contentment as her face melted into a dozy smile.
At that, Alex and I traded a look in perfect sync. Alex even jerked upright without thinking.
“Cute, good at cooking, totally devoted, and strong on top of it all,” she went on proudly. “Come on, is it really fair for there to be such a perfectly gorgeous woman in the world, huh?”
Alex and I both fell completely silent.
What is this woman even talking about? And why does she look so absurdly happy while staring at us like that?
“Senpai did almost all the cooking, though,” Alex pointed out timidly.
He’s right.
“Huh? I cut the greens and stuff properly,” Joanne protested, frowning.
You cut the table, I thought.
In the end, I’d taken her hands and guided her through cutting the ingredients myself.
She’d gone completely limp during it, spacing out with an empty look in her eyes.
No, pointing it out is a waste of energy. This is just how Joanne is.
Watching me not correct her, Alex seemed to realize that her personality was probably beyond any form of rehabilitation and quietly closed his mouth.
And so, with only Joanne staying blissfully pleased with herself right up to the end, the three of us drifted off to sleep.
Maybe when I’m on the verge of dying someday and my whole life flashes before my eyes… the memories that come back won’t be the dramatic ones at all, but stupid little moments like this.