Chapter 1:
The Crown Prince’s Bride-to-Be
“I GATHERED MY WITS…but I’m still a nervous wreck.”
As I stood in Eric’s study waiting for him, an anxiety I couldn’t quite name had a hold on me. Especially on an important day like today, Eric had no time to rest. He was running around, checking over reports dealing with the aftermath of the Algrene incident, and quelling the surges of unrest and discord resulting from the radical government reforms.
I couldn’t count the number of times I wanted to admonish him for overworking himself.
But he’s devoted to seeing his dream for the kingdom become a reality. Whenever I see the fiery determination in his eyes, I can’t bring myself to stop him.
“Leia, don’tcha want any tea?”
The tea Lingsha had grown cold—I’d forgotten to drink it. “Oh! Pardon me, Miss Lin, I drifted off there…” I uttered a quick apology.
The two of us were alone.
“Don’t you worry about it. Want me to brew another cup?”
“No, thank you. I don’t think I could keep anything down right now.”
“I know the feeling, oh yes. Everyone has days like this.” Lingsha sat down on the sofa and gestured for me to join her. After an interminable awkward silence, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Leia, are you really that scared to meet with Eric’s dad?”
I smiled awkwardly. “Yes, I am. I’ve met His Majesty before, but not to ask for his blessing to marry his son… I just don’t know how I’m supposed to behave.”
What if I’m too nervous to speak? The terrifying thought refused to leave my mind. That showed just how important this audience with the king was.
“Aw, just be yourself and you’ll be fine, Leia, oh yes. Don’t worry, Eric’s dad knows you’re a good person.”
“Is it really that simple?” I chuckled. “You know, hearing you say so makes me a believer, Miss Lin. What a strange power you have.”
I felt embarrassed to laugh about it, but it did lighten my spirit a little. And she was right, there was no use in trying to put on airs. I just had to be myself.
I’m definitely still nervous, but I’m feeling more optimistic.
“But, Leia, I heard this is your second engagement. Won’t it be easier the second time around?”
“Oh, no, not at all. I was a bundle of nerves the first time too…and that was only an arranged marriage. Both sets of parents approved the union, so there was nothing to worry about.”
“You mean, your dad and Philip’s dad decided on the marriage, yes?”
“Exactly. But this time, Eric and I pledged our love to each other first, and now we’re seeking His Majesty’s approval. It’s a completely different situation.”
“Now I see. Oh yes, I get it.” Lingsha nodded knowingly. Then she clasped my hand and said, “In the Ren Empire, this is how we give each other courage. See?”
The surge of warmth from her hand filled my heart with peace. I could practically feel the tension leave my shoulders.
“Wow, that’s amazing. What’s this warm sensation? Is this chi? Thanks, Miss Lin, I feel much calmer now.”
“Of course you do. Chi flows through the body just like blood. You can find it under your eyelids and under your fingernails and toenails too.”
“W-wow, that’s incredible. I’ve learned something new.”
Surviving all the turmoil in the Ren Empire really did make her resilient. She knew about so many things as well. It all made my worries feel incredibly trivial.
The worldly Lingsha sat up straight, tilted her head sideways with a curious expression, and asked, “When Lingsha gets married…do you think she’ll need to meet the parents too?” Her eyes looked as though she was picturing that future in her mind.
“Yes. I’m pretty sure you’ll have to.”
“Tell me what it felt like the first time, please. I can learn from it, yes?”
“Gladly. Well, I’ll tell you about the time I met Duke Gilbert…”
I looked back on my past experiences as I talked to Lingsha. At first, I was so excited that Philip was to marry me. All I could remember was how hard I focused on smiling as I spoke so that I didn’t offend Duke Gilbert, one of the Great Four of Elshaid.
“Hmm, sounds like a pain in the butt. Doesn’t the meeting ever go super quick?”
“No, a marriage is the joining of two families; it’s a very big deal.” Barely after the words came out of my mouth, I remembered that Lingsha was a princess of the Ren Empire, twelfth in line to the throne. If a refugee like her married, the situation would probably be quite different.
“You know…given your situation, marriage might be an even bigger ordeal, Miss Lin. I’m sorry, I should have been more considerate.”
“Aw, don’t sweat it, Leia. But you’re probably right. I should expect to see bloodshed when the big day comes, oh yes.”
As usual, Lingsha’s casual way of delivering the most brutal sentiments shocked me. Silently, I worried that I had said something inappropriate.
I…can’t think of a good reply.
I felt terrible, since Lingsha’s Ren Empire wisdom had served me so well countless times.
“Miss Lin…this tea is delicious. It always is, but did you change something this time?”
“Johann bought that tea. He found a new shop, see.”
“Oh, did he? Well, that’s lovely news!”
I felt bad about how desperate I was to change the subject. Lingsha’s interest in the topic of marriage came as a complete surprise. Did she have feelings for someone? Wait, should I ask if she was seeing anyone? That’d be worth celebrating. Okay, now I was genuinely curious.
“Miss Lin…pardon my asking, but do you have a boyfriend? Please don’t feel obligated to respond…”
No answer.
“Miss Lin?”
But there was still no answer. Perhaps I’d asked her something I shouldn’t.
“Um, Miss Lin? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.”
“Leia…don’t apologize… You weren’t prying. I was just—”
“Lady Leia! Lady Lingsha! Good thing I found you both! I’ve brought some pastries from the newest bakery in the capital!”
Johann barged into the study, a bag from a pastry shop in hand. It smelled delicious and filled the air with freshly baked sweetness.
“Ooh yes, that smells good! You’re great at your job, Johann.”
“Thank you so much, Sir Johann,” I added. “Why don’t we all have them now for tea?”
“Ah, yes! Great idea. Come, Lady Lin, join us.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
I made the tea more often, since Lingsha had taught me how. The tea I brewed tasted good now, even though it still didn’t hold a candle to hers.
“Here you go…”
“Thank you, Lady Leia!”
“Thanks!”
We sat down at the table to have our tea and pastries. They were crisp on the outside and melty on the inside, and they gave off a potent buttery fragrance.
Mm…so good.
As I savored the pastries Johann bought us, Johann and Lingsha were engaged in a spirited discussion over a book they’d read recently.
“Lady Lin, that book you lent me yesterday was terribly intriguing. That last sentence in particular provoked my thoughts quite profoundly…”
“I know, right? That’s a Lingsha favorite. You should read it too, Leia. I know you’ll love it, oh yes.”
“I’d love to.”
The pair had become quite avid readers lately. I often came across them fervently discussing their opinions like this. The pastries were likely a pretense to having these conversations—I had a feeling that Johann was buying them a lot more recently.
Had he developed a sweet tooth?
No, there was more to it than that—this atmosphere between them…it felt the same, yet different. Lately, it seemed like Johann and Lingsha had grown closer.
Their dynamic changed right around the time Johann was suspended.
Could it be? Were they seeing each other?
No, it doesn’t look that serious.
Lingsha had said that she brought Johann pastries and books while he was under house arrest. That probably just led to them spending more time together outside of work, nothing more.
Satisfied with my conclusion, I brought my teacup to my lips.
“Lady Leia, is something troubling you?”
“Oh, no, it’s nothing, Sir Johann. I was just thinking.”
“I see. Well, no wonder, you’re about to embark on a very important task. His Highness looked unusually nervous this morning himself. Hah! Hah! Hah!”
Johann looked genuinely amused. And I was surprised by what he said.
“Er, he was nervous? Wow, I didn’t know Eric was capable of feeling anxious.”
“Yes, I have little memory of him ever feeling this way. But I’m certain that today’s audience with His Majesty is terribly important to him.”
When I saw the look in Johann’s eyes, my apprehensions started creeping back. I never dreamed that stoic Eric would be nervous about an audience with his father…
But knowing that Eric is nervous because of me? That doesn’t feel bad at all.
“Don’t say that, Johann! Lingsha worked so hard to unravel Leia’s tension, and you’ve ruined it!”
“M-my apologies! Lady Leia, I know you’ll be just fine! His Majesty will approve of you just the way you are!”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I told her!”
Johann looked flustered after Lingsha’s scolding.
My nervousness was definitely back…but it was a good nervousness.
“Miss Lin, you needn’t worry,” I said proudly. “Eric is just as nervous as I am. We’re sure to triumph over our fears together.”
“Ooh! That’s our Lady Leia! So valiant!”
Johann and Lingsha met my valor with a smile. They were both rooting for me. I couldn’t disappoint them.
“Lady Leia…I have indeed never seen Prince Eric so nervous, but I’ve also never seen him so happy!”
Eric was happy. Clearly, he wished to be with me as badly as I wished to be with him. Hearing the words from somebody else made me feel self-conscious, but the joy I felt smothered those feelings.
“Oh, Johann, thank you so much. Yes, this fear I feel is something I need to conquer… But it’s not a bad fear. It’s proof that I am serious about our future!”
“Indeed. And I’m glad to hear it.”
“Leia, the blissful fear you feel today will become a treasured memory later, oh yes!”
Blissful fear, those could be the perfect words to describe it. Whenever I remembered the day Eric declared his love for me…my cheeks reddened. I was sure that I’d look back on the events of today feeling just as jubilant.
I recalled the first thing he ever said to me: “Are you the insolent saint who has been abusing her little sister?”
Our relationship started off on the worst footing, but we got to know each other, and now we were walking on the path to marriage together. There was no telling where life would take you—that’s what made it so enthralling.
This was a truth I rediscovered in that moment.