She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and get her pulse under control. Even if it was difficult, maybe even impossible, she had to try to make herself calm.
A voice spoke suddenly as if responding to Kaguya’s efforts. A man’s voice.
“I see. You’re here now, too,” the voice said.
There would be no calming down now. Kaguya spun around at the sound. She recognized the speaker.
Her brother was now standing before her.
Two brothers before her eyes. She remembered seeing something like this once before.
But this time, there was no need to decide which of the two brothers was the Goddess. It was obviously the one standing before her now, smiling. He was the Goddess.
Kaguya had a feeling she needed to settle this. To meet this brother face-to-face.
“Ren…”
Her brother grinned. “Welcome, Kaguya. You’re okay now. There’s no more sadness or fear. You can stay in here with me forever.”
That smile, completely at odds with her real brother’s, was almost dazzling enough to make Kaguya feel complacent. Although the smile was blatantly unnatural, the Goddess did not seem to care. He must have believed he already had Kaguya in his clutches.
The brother must not have cared for Kaguya’s reaction. She saw a hint of brutality surface in his eyes.
“What’s wrong? You don’t seem very happy.”
“Well…”
It was difficult for Kaguya to express what she was feeling with a single word. True, she wasn’t very happy to be turning into a hero. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t some sensation of happiness involved. She couldn’t deny that.
“I think it’s a little more complicated than being happy or not.”
Clinging to the happy dream that was playing out before her eyes was not an option. She may have already fallen into the fantasy, but that did not make it okay. On the other hand, she could not refute what this dream meant to her, either.
“I guess I could say…I feel wistful, perhaps.”
She couldn’t stay here. This was an image that the Goddess had created from her past self. But she did not hate it, either.
“Thank you for the ice cream. It made me happy, even if it wasn’t real.”
“I see…” The brother smiled as if he had been half expecting her answer. “Are you sure, though, Kaguya? That you really want to return to reality? Aren’t you sick of all that by now? Being forced to cope with everything all on your own? If you wake up again, they’re all going to start depending on you for things again. It doesn’t matter how worn out you get, they won’t care. Haven’t you had enough of that?”
“You’re wrong…” Kaguya shook her head gently. “They wouldn’t do something like that. And even if they did, I’m not as shortsighted or as self-destructive as I once was. There’s always a way out when things get too tough. I’m done choosing this suicide pact with the heroes.”
There was more.
“I don’t think Azuma and the others want me to keep doing this anymore, either. I’m pretty sure everything is going to be okay.”
“Are you really?” The brother’s expression changed into a sinister, inviting smile. That face didn’t suit her brother very well, but it did suit the Goddess. “How much do you really know about them, though? You’ve only just met them, after all. They come from very different backgrounds from what you’re used to.”
Having peeked into Kaguya’s dreams, the Goddess was able to verbalize ideas that Kaguya had only formed subconsciously.
“Their first priority is always going to be on fighting heroes, you know. If you stay with them, you’ll be ground down to a pulp. Just like when you fell into that coma. If it happened once, it will happen again and again and again.”
Kaguya had fallen apart once. But not everything the brother was saying was true. He did not really know anything about Azuma and the others.
“You don’t know them at all, do you? You don’t know anything about Captain Azuma and the others.”
Kaguya pieced her words together with tender care.
“Azuma—Captain Yuuri Azuma—can be a little irritating at times, but the truth is he’s incredibly kind and gentle. Koyuki is my friend, and she’s probably more passionate and heartfelt than anyone I know. Rindou might be a little rough around the edges, but he always thinks of his friends first. And Second Lieutenant Takanashi is strong. Strong enough to stand up and fight for her principles and the things she believes in.”
Kaguya had only been with them for a few short months so far. Maybe she didn’t know everything about them, but there was one thing she could say for certain. Her time with them had been happy.
“They’re why I still want to go back.”
“I see…” The brother smiled gently for a moment. “You’re a real bitch.”
His tone of voice changed suddenly. Kaguya froze when she saw the look on his face. It was pure, unbridled hatred. He glared at with rancorous resentment, speaking in a low—such a low—voice.
“It’s your fucking fault I became a hero! You’re the one who did this to me.”
It was like he couldn’t stop himself.
“I’m your real brother, your actual brother. Do you understand what I’m saying? I’ve been wandering, untethered, ever since that day and it’s all your fault. You fucking did this to me, Kaguya.”
The way he was speaking.
“If you hadn’t become a goddamn hero, I would have never wound up like this. Do you even care? The least you could do to make up for what you’ve done to me is join me in here!”
“R…R-Ren…”
Kaguya had been wrong about one thing.
This brother before her eyes had been her real brother after all—his own memories, his self, and his consciousness were long since gone. Transformed into a Goddess, he was now just acting the part of who he had once been from those former memories. But it still came as a punch to the gut for Kaguya. This was her real brother. The one she had been searching for all this time. Right in front of her.
“It happened six years ago. I was turned into a hero by those jackals at Technical No. 1.”
“It’s you…! You were the hero six years ago…?!”
“I took your place. When they tried to take you away, I went instead—”
The hero from six years ago had been her brother all along. Kaguya stepped back, overwhelmed by the truth.
“Aren’t you disgusted with yourself? You made me like this, and now you think you deserve to be saved without me? Do you really hate me that much? Even after, for your sake, I—”
“Stop,” came a voice, slightly deep for a woman.
The word carried power, like a curse. Kaguya spotted a splash of pink out of the corner of her eye. A young woman was suddenly standing next to her.
It was Sakura. But she wasn’t in her uniform anymore. She was wearing a dress. Just as she had appeared after she had died when Kaguya had seen her off.
This Sakura, however, was no longer wearing the sad smile she had worn that day, as if she had given up on everything. Instead, she wore the old smile that Kaguya remembered best. It was trustworthy, animated, and even a little combative.
“You aren’t Kaguya’s brother anymore. You’re just pretending to be him. How long are you going to keep up this sloppy charade?”
She’s right, thought Kaguya. This wasn’t really her brother. It was just some thing masquerading as him, using Kaguya’s memories—and her brother’s—in an attempt to lure Kaguya to her downfall. Her brother’s consciousness was already lost to this world, and this creature was debasing his dignity and his memory by pretending otherwise.
“She’s right! My brother would never say anything like that!” Kaguya shouted, carried away in a sudden flurry of rage. “What would you know about him? Or about Azuma and the others? Don’t act like you know a damned thing!”