Gillain’s black horse took us to a rectangular building on high ground.
The room we were ushered into was an unexpectedly cozy space with lots of wood. Gillain had ordered everyone else to leave, so it was just us and the fluffballs. The window overlooked the city of Tohkun.
“What is this place?” I asked.
“This is where the emperor officially lives,” Gillain replied. “It was originally a battle fort, so the building isn’t decorated.”
Oh, so this is the place where they would have demolished Tohkun from if it had come to it...
“Would you like some tea?” I asked Gillain.
“You’d make some for me?”
“I want to relax a bit.”
I took my tea set out of my Magic Room as usual and made some of my best tea. Even I had a sense of pride, after all. I got the water boiling right away with a combination of water and heat magic, and I put the tea in to steep just as my grandmother had taught me.
Gillain was sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, watching me intently. I brought out an apple cake, cut it into eight pieces, and gave myself and Gillain one slice each, then three each to Lou and Asu.
“Enjoy!”
“You don’t have to entertain these guys!” complained Lou.
“You’ve improved, Sere,” said Asu. “This is great. And this is your first time having her cooking, right, Gillain?”
Gillain picked up a small piece and popped it into his mouth. I watched the three of them eat, then I picked up my cup and looked out the window, satisfied that they liked it.
It was dark outside now, and the stars had come out.
“It actually isn’t my first time.”
“What?”
“Eating your cooking, I mean.”
When? I can’t recall anything.
“I had a green cake that you made. I was worried since it was the same color as grass, but when I tried it, I really liked it. It was bittersweet.”
“You mean matcha?! Is that the one I gave Sakaki?!” Sakaki was protecting him even back then...
“He brought it since he saw I’d been forgetting to eat. He figured it was something even I would eat.”
So Sakaki worries for Gillain... I’m glad.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you two were connected?”
“I couldn’t act. Asu hadn’t returned yet, so there was nothing I could do. I didn’t want to make you happy only to let you down later.”
“I would have felt better if you’d just contacted me.”
“That’s exactly what I wanted to avoid. What would contacting you have accomplished? If I didn’t have the ability to save you, I would have just given you false hope.”
“Well, that may be true, but...”
“I’m an emperor. I don’t make promises I’m not sure I can keep.”
I was lonely, I almost said, but stopped myself. Gillain had been the one who was really alone during that time.
“Did you like the cake?” I blatantly changed the subject.
“I loved it. I can’t believe I’m able to put something in my mouth without checking it for poison for once.”
We have the Poisoning Victims Alliance here...
“I wish I could have your cakes every day.”
“I’ll make as many as you want, as long as you promise not to skip meals.”
“What?!” Lou exclaimed.
“Read the room!” Asu scolded him.
The mood softened thanks to my silly fluffball.
“I’m sorry you had to announce our engagement to get me out of Marsche.”
“Do you...not want to be engaged?”
“It’s not like that, I just feel bad...”
“I thought I made it clear how I feel this afternoon.”
“I see...”
“It’s okay if you don’t believe I feel that way. You can just use me to get out of your current situation if that’s what you want.”
I believe you feel that way. I’ve understood completely, ever since you gave me your plate. I shook my head.
“Your feelings are what matters here. If you’d rather die than marry me, I’ll break off the engagement.”
“What do you mean, ‘rather die’...?!”
“If you hate me, then I’ll find some other way to protect you.”
Hate Gillain? No, I don’t...
“I’ve waited for ten years. You can reject me if you don’t want this. I’d accept my loss then.”
He’s wanted me for ten years, and I just ignored him and ran away from him the whole time.
“Your happiness is everything to me. I don’t want to force you into anything. I’ll leave right now if that’s what you want. Asu can support you.” Gillain always meant what he said.
Gillain would leave? The one person who I can fully trust not to lie to me ever since the events of the book?
“No! Please don’t leave! Don’t...abandon me...” I couldn’t help but run up to Gillain and sit down before him, begging with my hands on his legs.
He opened his eyes wide in a rare expression of surprise, then placed a hand on my head. “You’re my one and only, Sere. How could I ever abandon you?”
“Didn’t Asu tell you? The book of prophecy says that everyone will betray me when I’m seventeen! Everyone I love will hate me!”
“I’ve heard. But I’m not included, right?”
“You’re not, but that’s exactly why...if I lost you, I wouldn’t be able to go on living...” I suddenly had trouble breathing—hyperventilating? I clutched my chest.
“Sere!” Lou shouted.
“Gillain!” Asu shouted.
Gillain leaned forward, still sitting on the couch, put his hands on my sides, and lifted me onto his lap. I buried my face in his chest and took deep breaths, clutching the fabric of his clothes. He stroked my back gently, as if he were touching something fragile.
Once darkness had filled the room, I had become used to being in Gillain’s room, and my breathing was gradually settling down. Asu permeated the air with his warm magic. Breathing it in made me feel better.
“Sere, that really worried me just now. I’m the one who wouldn’t be able to go on living if I didn’t have you. You’re the only one who sees me as just another person. You know the same pain as me and see things from the same point of view as me. You don’t hate me, do you? I really believe you don’t...”
Gillain trusted me so deeply, it almost hurt. I couldn’t go on hiding my feelings—not anymore.
“Gillain... My loyalty, past, present, and future, is to you alone. But, I’m scared...”
Will you still love me in the future?
“I’m not going to betray you. Time will make that clear to you. You can wait patiently at my side until that time comes.”
I want to believe in a future where I stand close to Gillain so he won’t be lonely. I’ll be next to him, not anybody else.
“Will you marry me, my frightened Sere?”
I couldn’t resist. To live for someone who wanted me from the bottom of their heart was my dream...a dream I had turned my back on for so long.
I saw Lou and Asu in my field of vision. Loudarylphena, my other half, watched me with his sky-blue eyes. They inspired courage in me—the courage to take the next step.
I want to believe...
I met eyes with Gillain and nodded slightly, my chin trembling.
I...loved Gillain. I didn’t know if it was romantic, platonic, or familial love, but I didn’t care. My only thought was...I want to make him happy.
Gillain took out a ring with a vivid blue gem that matched his eyes perfectly—probably tanzanite—and slid it onto my left ring finger. I felt his intense magic inside it. As he put it on me, he kissed me.
“I love you.”
I’d fallen for him, just like in the book. I didn’t regret it, just like in the book.
Having put a conclusion to the thing that had been eating away at me for all this time, I let myself relax, lean against Gillain’s chest, and gaze at the sky.
A star fell.