About a month had passed since the late autumn Festival of Gratitude. The real cold had set in, and a certain event was being held at the academy: the Starlight Festival, a night where we gazed at the stars in the clear winter sky.
Since it was so chilly, there were a number of bonfires set up in the middle of the yard where the students could keep warm. However, I didn’t quite feel like joining the crowd in their lively conversation. Instead, I went behind the school, where no one else was around. I sat on a bench and thought about the gods from a distant realm, Lord Endo and Lady Kobayashi, as I gazed at the twinkling stars.
The stars were supposed to be beautiful tonight. Yet, for some reason, they didn’t move my heart. I found myself spacing out.
“So this is where you were, Your Highness.”
The sudden voice made my shoulders flinch in surprise. I hurriedly looked in its direction and saw my fiancée, Lieselotte.
“Ah...if I stay there, everyone will try to accommodate me,” I said, managing to scrounge up an excuse. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the entire reason.
Lieselotte didn’t seem to notice how I awkwardly averted my gaze. She sat next to me, unconcerned. “Still, I do not think it is wise to come to such a place alone. It would be better if you at least had me with you at all times.”
Her expression was pointed and indifferent, but I couldn’t help but chuckle at how adorable her words were. In the past, she wouldn’t have voiced that second sentence aloud. Rather, before she would’ve even had a chance to state her true feelings, I would have apologized and things would’ve become awkward. Had this conversation been before last spring, I’m sure it would’ve gone that way. However, the two voices who had been supporting me from spring to late fall had guided our relationship to the wonderful state it was in now.
But now, they’re...
“There’s a lonely feeling in the air,” Lieselotte said.
I flinched. She had seen right through me.
Either she didn’t notice me shrink back, or she was pretending to be unaware. I couldn’t tell, because she simply looked up at the stars and continued to speak.
“The winter air is clear and refreshing, but there aren’t many signs of flora and fauna at this time of year, so it feels lonely.”
Oh, she didn’t realize I was lonely because I missed the gods. I secretly let out a sigh of relief.
Lieselotte glanced at me and tilted her head. “Do you not think so, Your Highness?”
“Oh, yes. It does...feel lonely.” It was hard to get the words out. Denying it would’ve been strange, but I didn’t like how they touched upon my true feelings.
“You finally said it aloud.” Lieselotte smiled.
I stiffened. Just how good of a mind reader is she?
“It’s good to put your feelings into words every now and then,” she said gently. “If you keep them bottled up, they stagnate, strain, and distort... By the time you notice, you might not be able to do anything about it anymore. Just look at me. I was nearly possessed by the Witch of Yore.” She giggled.
Her sincerity and concern moved me. I had to hold back the urge to cry.
She did realize I missed my friends, but she also knew I couldn’t say it, so she gave me another way to say the words corresponding to my innermost feelings.
Lieselotte sighed. “You and I—no, all children born to royalty and nobility are taught to not show our emotions openly, to hide our inner turmoil, and to smile gracefully at all times. When it comes to our duties, this is the right thing to do, because in noble society, if one reveals their weakness, they will be kicked down.” She looked straight at me. “However, I believe family falls outside of that principle, as do soon-to-be-family relationships like ours. I feel that if we apply that principle to family, it will suffocate us and cause relationships to collapse.”
I wonder if that’s true. Oh, but it certainly could’ve been the reason our relationship was on the verge of collapse until last spring. It improved considerably after her lovely inner thoughts were revealed to me.
Lieselotte smiled softly, perhaps sensing that she had convinced me. “In times of hardship, let us share the burden, and in times of happiness, let us rejoice together. Let us express our inner thoughts and tell each other how we truly feel. I’m sure that is what we were missing until last spring.”
“I...feel lonely, Liese. I’ve lost my connection to my dear friends, and I miss them. I loved and respected them. I was so grateful to them, and I wanted to be with them forever and ever.”
“It’s incredibly fortunate that you were able to make such good friends. They must have been wonderful people.”
I nodded, encouraged by her calm voice. “Yes. They were thoughtful, knowledgeable, kindhearted, and brave. Oh, and they expressed their emotions with all their heart. They cheered with joy at our happiness, cried with grief at our misfortune, yelled with fury at our enemies...”
Oh no. Talking about my friends, whose voices I haven’t heard for a month now, is giving me the urge to cry.
If I were to follow Lieselotte’s advice, I wouldn’t need to hold back my tears. However, part of me was still stubbornly resisting. I looked up at the stars, trying not to let my tears spill.
“Yes, it was as if they were illustrating the feelings I couldn’t express myself,” I said. “It must’ve prevented me from bottling them up. That’s another way they helped me, huh?” I could hear the shakiness in my voice. I took a slow, deep breath to calm myself. “I know I have to get used to not having their voices around. I have to be able to get by without them. Yet I still can’t help but feel lonely.”
“It’s only natural,” Lieselotte said. “That’s how important they were to you. It’s sad they’re gone, isn’t it?”
Her gentle voice broke my resistance. I hope the darkness of night will conceal the unstoppable flow of tears running down my cheeks, I prayed as I looked down and away from the too-bright moon and stars.
“Let me tell you about the Witch of Yore’s tactics,” Lieselotte said.
Huh? What is she talking about all of a sudden?
“She starts by saying words that address her target’s feelings, then quickly follows with words that lead in a different direction, pulling the target’s mind that way. I was suffering because I couldn’t obtain your love, and she linked that to a grudge towards Fiene. In the end, I was almost convinced the entire world was my enemy.”
“L-Liese...” I looked up without thinking.
Lieselotte shook her head nonchalantly. “Don’t worry. I know now I was mistaken about being unable to obtain your love. This is simply a declaration that I will copy this trick I nearly fell for.”
“Copy? What do you mean?” I tilted my head.
She smiled. “Prince Siegwald, you feel unbearably lonely because you cannot see your friends, do you not? And that means you are looking forward to reuniting with them very much.”
“Yes...I suppose. If the opportunity ever arose...”
“It will! However, only if you believe it will, Sieg! You are excited to see your friends again. What will you talk about when you next meet?”
So she’s trying to address my loneliness and lead it towards excitement. I never even considered what I would do the next time I met my friends...
I tried to think about it. “Let’s see... I wasn’t allowed to ask them questions, so I suppose I’d like to hear various things about them.”
“Oh, that sounds nice. What would you ask?”
“It felt like they had grown closer, so I was wondering if they’d gotten engaged.”
“That is indeed a topic of interest. Is there anything else?”
“The world they live in— Well, no, that doesn’t matter. It’s just that, if I’m allowed to think of them as friends, I’d like to hear about ordinary things such as their likes, dislikes... Actually, no, I suppose the subject of the conversation really doesn’t matter. I simply wish to be able to chat with them. That alone would bring me joy and excitement.”
“Those are words one would say to the person they love,” Lieselotte said, pouting.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her adorable jealousy. She really was endearing.
Oh, I know. Lady Kobayashi seemed very fond of Lieselotte, so we can talk about how cute she is. That would be...
“Yes, I’m looking forward to it very much.” I truly meant those words.
“I am as well,” Lieselotte said.
That’s right. I’m lonely, but I’m also excited. We did promise we’d see each other again, so I ought to look forward to our reunion. My beloved will be with me throughout this lonely time, and we’ll await the moment of happiness together.
“Thank you, Liese.”
“You’re very welcome.” She smiled warmly at me, as if matching the newfound warmth in my heart.
We gazed up at the stars, and it was the most beautiful night I had ever experienced.
✦ ✦ ✦
The academy’s winter break was about a week long. Fiene returned to the Riefenstahl castle with Baldur, Lieselotte, Cecilie—the youngest daughter of House Riefenstahl—and Cecilie’s fiancé, Fabian. It snowed heavily that night.
Early the next morning, the castle was unusually noisy.
“Hey, I think your skills dulled while you were busy with the wedding preparations, Lieselotte,” Baldur said. “How can you say you’ll protect His Highness for the rest of your life when that’s the best you can do?”
“Oh my, Baldur. You didn’t notice I was being considerate? You may be in training, but you’re still a royal knight. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you with a quick defeat. I’m going to get a little more serious now!”
“Hah, I don’t need you to go easy on me. Come at me with all you’ve got!”
“Sir Bal, Lieselotte!” Fiene shouted. “Don’t get too reckless just because I’m here to heal you, okay?! Ugh, it’s no use. They aren’t listening to me.”
In the center of the training ground behind the castle, Baldur and Lieselotte were glaring at and taunting each other. Fiene’s request went completely ignored amidst the fierce clash between spear and sword.