“Who knows?”
When I jokingly sidestepped it, Touko pouted for a moment. But she immediately corrected herself, speaking quickly.
“No, that was a joke. That was just a joke, okay?”
“Right.”
When I couldn’t keep my shoulders from shaking with mirth, Touko looked to the side awkwardly.
The occasional childish gestures that she showed me…always stole my attention.
“In fact, I was just at Koito-san’s house. Oh, to buy a book, of course.”
I raised the shopping bag I had put down with my other things. Touko’s mood immediately improved, and she peered at the bag with interest.
“What did you buy?”
“It’s Kano-san’s book.”
Opening the bag, I showed her the cover of the book. I wondered how long it had been since I had bought a novel.
“Oh, you bought a copy, too, Sayaka?”
“Of course. It’s the debut novel of someone I know, after all. I wanted to congratulate her, too.”
Kano-san was going to the same college as Touko. It seemed she had a lot of opportunities to see Touko and Koito-san.
“Well, I had her autograph mine directly.”
“What are you getting competitive for?”
As I laughed at Touko for being proud of herself, she averted her eyes with an, “Oh…” as if remembering something.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, when I had her sign it, she signed it so smoothly that I asked her whether she practiced doing it, and she got so embarrassed… Maybe it was kind of a mistake to ask that.”
“Perhaps you should practice your autographs, too, Touko?”
“Who would I even do one for?”
“Well, if you really become a big-time actress, you might have plenty of opportunities.”
When I touched on something Koito-san had told me about in the past, Touko smiled ambiguously.
“I’m…still not sure about that.”
“Right. I really think you should talk to Koito-san and make a decision.”
“Yeah.”
As Touko nodded meekly, I closed my eyes and smiled slightly.
If only she had listened to people’s advice so obediently in the past.
I reminisced on the days when I was the one to fold at Touko’s stubbornness, running around at her every whim.
It felt a little good to be belatedly annoyed about that.
Our drinks soon arrived. Looking past the employee, I met eyes with Miyako-san, who looked busy. She waved her hand at me slightly. Touko and I bowed back to her.
We both sipped our coffee, and Touko said, “Come to think of it—well, I suppose that’s an odd phrase to start this out with, but…you have a girlfriend now, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I replied simply as she gave me something like puppy-dog eyes.
“But I only found out recently.” Touko seemed reproachful as she narrowed her eyes and glowered at me.
“I thought Koito-san would tell you for me.”
“You could have just told me directly.”
“Well…it didn’t really come up.”
It would be odd to report to her I had gotten a girlfriend without her even asking, I think.
If I did that, it would seem like I was boasting about my love life.
…Though surely I wouldn’t do that.
“What’s she like?”
“You haven’t heard about her from Koito-san?”
“I heard a little,” Touko said. “But I wanted to hear it from you.”
It kind of felt like a conversation I’d had before.
I trained my ears on the bustle inside the café as I spoke about Haru. “She’s energetic—very much so.”
When I introduced my girlfriend to anyone, that was always where I started. Maybe that was the strongest impression I had of her. Beyond that, Haru was very lighthearted. She always was running as though she didn’t know how to stop.
Just as she herself claimed, maybe her body naturally rushed around trying to keep up with her rapidly-changing emotions.
Accompanying her, I lived my days with a speed I hadn’t known about until now…and that was a good thing.
“Since I fell for her, I thought I’d like to meet with you.”
There was something I had gained from her that even allowed me to look straight into Touko’s eyes.
Touko looked back at me as I did that and smiled.
“I’m sure she’s a lovely girl.”
Very, I answered only in my mind.
“She’s also very good at cooking.”
“Oh, I’m jealous,” Touko complained. She had started to lean forward; then, as though suddenly realizing that, she drew back and cleared her throat. “I keep telling myself I should work on cooking for myself every day, too.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“This is a secret, but I’ve been getting excited and making something whenever Yuu comes over, so now she thinks I cook all the time.”
“All right, I won’t tell.” I imagined Koito-san would be able to guess that much just by looking into the fridge, though. “How do you like living alone?”
“I’ve gotten used to it, but to be honest, it’s pretty hard.”
It was new to me for Touko to acknowledge a difficulty so easily.
“There are a lot more things I can’t do than I thought, but trying my hand at them has been a lot of fun.”
“………”
Maybe this was what Touko’s actual face was like—the one that I hadn’t been able to get to know.
I silently listened to the true Touko’s words.
“It was the same with the play, but there were a lot of things I still didn’t know…a world I didn’t know about. In the past, I used to be scared of making contact with things like that and changing. But then…”
I felt Touko’s heart falter and move greatly.
The shimmer that filled her eyes said everything.
“Yuu told me that no matter what I do, no matter how much I change, it’ll be okay.”
“Did she…”
I wondered whether I could have told Touko that or not.
That was likely proof of the difference between Koito-san and I—her courage.
I’m just no match for her. I let that complaint ride on the steam rising from the coffee, up to the ceiling.
After that, I had less to say and slowly enjoyed my coffee.
The significance of meeting with Touko was now more than fulfilled.
I listened to Touko’s voice and confirmed she was happy.
That was enough to satisfy me.
“There really isn’t much to formally talk about, is there?”
After all, up until now, I had spent plenty of time with Touko, our voices blending together.
“You’re right. But I’m glad we met.”
“I think the same, Touko.”
It was likely that we would become more distant from here on.
Since we had stopped running in parallel lines to each other, we would probably keep getting farther away from each other as time piled up.
So before the opportunities for us to meet became rarer, I wanted to enjoy myself as much as I could in the moment.
“Hey, Touko.”
“Hm?”
“How about we have whoever loses pay?”
As I proposed that, I held out my loosely clenched fist.
I wasn’t troubled about anything, and I didn’t have any ulterior motives.
I just wanted to try it out.
At first, Touko’s eyes went round. But then, slowly, loosely, she smiled.
“Sounds good.” Touko murmured as though she were chewing it over. “Yes, that’s lovely.”
I’m sure I felt the same way.
“Rock…”
“Paper…”
The hand she put out was exactly what I had expected.
And so, I was able to easily choose whether I wanted to win or lose.