“Whooaa, ohhhh, ahhhh.”
“Oh, hush.”
I pushed Haru’s shoulders as she made a racket like a seal, and headed to the pool.
“This might be my first time seeing your bare feet, Sayaka-senpai.”
“My bare feet…?” Was that her way of trying to convey how moved she was?
“Stand over there for a sec.”
Haru had me stop and then went around behind me. Then, she thoroughly looked me over.
“This is kind of embarrassing.”
“Oh, man…I can’t even. Yeah.”
Haru seemed like she was probably satisfied.
“Sayaka-senpai, you’re so…” Haru stopped with her mouth still open. With a frozen smile still on her face, her voice slipped out in a monotone. “…pretty.”
“You just covered up that you were going to say something else, didn’t you?”
When I pressed her, Haru looked in any direction but mine.
“You’re so lewd,” I said.
“Did you just say something?” Still refusing to face forward, Haru started to lightly jog away.
“That’s dangerous.”
I followed her. We passed the disinfection mats, and the scent of chlorine and the sound of water greeted me. It was a long and narrow pool divided into six lanes. It resembled the swimming school I had gone to in my elementary school days so strongly that I felt like I had shrunk.
“Looks like no one’s around.”
Our demure footsteps echoed around the desolate pool. The surface of the water was unruffled, with only the faintest of rippling waves.
“Even though it’s technically open for use, there aren’t a lot of people who go out of their way to come.” Haru stretched at the poolside as she explained. “And students who do stuff on campus for fun are probably weirdos anyway.”
“Why are you saying that like you’re talking about someone other than yourself?”
Haru laughed and leapt into the pool. The dramatic splash and spray of water reached my feet.
It was true enough that I wasn’t too familiar with the feeling of coming to school for fun. I never even would have considered it in the past, I thought as I went into the water after Haru. My knees bent immediately from the force and I sunk all the way to my head. I looked at the bottom and realized I had forgotten to put on my goggles.
Slowly, I listened to the sound of the water seeming to rush toward me as I floated up.
When I rose above the water’s surface, Haru was swimming up to me.
“It’s nice, like we’ve got the place reserved.”
“It is…”
We were alone together in the pool. I had been in a situation like this before, too.
When I thought about it, that day might have been the start of it all. The long-ago feelings held in this water were like an anchor, securing my memories so I would never forget them.
“Want to race?” Haru proposed.
The thought of Haru’s usual quick walking crossed my mind. “I feel like I’d lose, so I’ll pass.”
“What? C’mon, let’s try!”
I smiled at Haru’s childlike badgering, and we ended up going ahead with the competition. I dove underwater to pass beneath the divisions into the lane next to me. After I put on my goggles and fixed them in place, I looked at the neighboring lane and the tanned girl next to me.
I felt a strong sense of déjà vu. Back then, I’d lost.
“All right, we’re going to start.” Haru had her eyes trained on the large clock in the back as she said, “Ready, settt…”
Since I had taken out my contact lenses, even the hand of the clock looked hazy.
“Go!”
On hearing Haru’s voice, I sunk into the water.
When I did that, and kicked off the wall and moved my arms, the sensation of that day came back to me even more clearly. It was as though the “swimming” entries were being replayed from within my categorized memories. As the tips of my fingers remembered how to cut through the water, the faltering in my movements disappeared. Like this, then like that… As I accomplished those steps one at a time, I focused solely on progressing forward.
I’d thought I had mostly forgotten the lessons from my childhood.
But maybe the time I spent would never truly disappear.
I was engrossed in the feeling of swimming, as though the distinctions between my shoulders to the tips of my toes had disappeared and merged into one.
When my hand reached the wall, I took off my goggles and turned around. Haru was much farther behind than I had expected.
“So you’re not that quick at swimming, then.”
“I’m just a creature of the land.”
“So what are you saying I am, hmm?”
As we had that trivial exchange, I enjoyed the feel of the water as we played around.
Even though there wasn’t anything in particular to do, I was satisfied just making the water splash with Haru.
“………”
Hmm.
“What’s wrong? Why are you spacing out?” Haru grew suspicious as I stopped near the center of the pool.
“I was just thinking how nothing is happening.”
“Well, that’s because only the two of us are here.”
“That’s not what I mean.” I laughed at her misunderstanding my comment, wiping away the water that trickled down my nose. When I was with Haru, the problems and discomfort I’d come to expect…never seemed to occur. Here it comes, any moment now—I kept preparing myself internally, but nothing happened at all.
This in itself seemed strange to me. The happiness and joy I felt around her were so steady that it made me uneasy instead. I’d never experienced love going well before. And yes, I knew that was a very depressing thought.
If things failed, I would of course be sad, but if things went well, I was immersed in worry. What would it take to satisfy me?
“Huh? Sa-ya-ka-sen-pai…” Haru’s voice seemed to slur partway through as though it were immersed in bubbles.
I breathed out air as I sunk to the bottom of the pool. With the air leaving my body, the tips of my hands and feet started to feel heavy. My back touched the pool bottom and I extended my limbs.
My eyes, which I had left uncovered by goggles, captured the surrounding water unsteadily.
I could see the electric lights beyond the water’s surface. I stretched my hand to that light.
I tried to grab the glimmer that seemed deceivingly close. My fingertips fluttered as they stirred up the water, but they touched nothing else.
Glug, glug. I heard a flowing sound near my ear. It was the sound of the air I was slowly losing. The bubbles rose to the surface of the water and disappeared into the light beyond that my hand would never reach.
The gravity I normally felt was softened in the depths of the water.
I felt it was a shame that I could only exist in this airless world for a fleeting time.
When I started to feel slightly out of air, I felt a separate flow coming towards me. I turned and saw that Haru had dove down. Her swim cap must have come off as she did so, since her hair was fanning out behind her. What a bad girl.
Perhaps she’d come down to check on me since I hadn’t resurfaced at all.