Edamoto-san’s voice rang out along with the ceaseless breeze, appealing to me with her expression and gestures as well. She really never hesitated or worried about people’s inner thoughts; she just bared her emotions and told me she loved me. No one could hear all that without feeling bashful, or without being deeply moved.
“You said you couldn’t explain it, but you actually did a pretty decent job.”
Edamoto-san grinned proudly, and I chuckled a little. Then…
“Sayaka-senpai, what do you see me as?”
She put down her chopsticks and asked me a question of her own. She peered into my eyes, as she did so requesting a response.
What was Edamoto Haru to me?
When I kept looking at her, what I could make out was still an outline. But I knew the significance of that shape. I lowered my hand, too, having stopped eating long ago.
“Could you try telling me you love me again?”
It seemed she hadn’t been expecting my request. Edamoto-san froze momentarily, like someone had pressed pause on a remote. When she felt the sensation of her sweat and shuddered from it, she finally restarted.
“Haven’t I been saying that pretty much every day?”
“You have, but I wanted to ask you to do it now.”
Edamoto-san averted her eyes and screwed up her face.
“Sayaka-senpai, you really are a little weird after all.”
“What do you mean, after all?”
Ignoring my question, Edamoto-san coughed to clear her throat.
As she stretched her arms and back, her voice seemed even clearer.
“I love you, Sayaka-senpai.”
She might have been calmer since her confession ended up somewhat formal.
That confession of love came down on my entire self like a heat wave.
It went straight past the surface and burned, certainly, through my insides.
“Uh-huh, uh-huh.” I nodded twice, as though I were scrutinizing it.
“Huh? What was that? What’re you nodding about?”
In order to evade Edamoto-san’s pursuit, I turned to face forward momentarily.
Even when I closed my eyes, something hot seeped in from beyond my eyelids.
I hadn’t fallen in love with her at first sight. I didn’t feel a jolt that day, like I did when I first saw Touko.
So it was so difficult to understand.
But even so…
Though I tried to resist for a bit, it seemed I had reached my limit now.
Even with my eyes closed, it was like I could still see something warm out there.
“Your love is different, isn’t it?”
“Huh?”
When she said she loved me, it came through my ears and reached my chest in the same way as anyone else’s voice might, but…
Somewhere along the way, it turned into something different from a friend’s love.
Perhaps emotions can occasionally surpass science and common sense.
“You know, I think…”
There was a faint warmth—smoldering, like it was seeping out from underneath firewood.
There were faint signs of that in Edamoto-san’s tenderness.
In other words, if her love already felt special to me now, then…
“All I can anticipate is that I’m going to fall in love with you.”
If I came to love her, I would begin to change again.
I was frightened of embarking on that change, so drastic that it would surprise even myself, but nevertheless…
“So if you don’t stay in love with me until I fall in love with you, that would be a problem.”
I had spent so long running after someone on a one-way road without ever getting anywhere.
It was about time that I put an end to such things.
So, I finally gave her a real response.
“Let’s date, Edamoto-san.”
That was my answer.
I tried to make an effort to say it gently, but it still seemed to be a massive shock to Edamoto-san.
She leapt up from her floor cushion and then awkwardly stopped partway through as though her head had hit an imaginary roof. Next, she staggered. She righted herself and came back down to me. But then, she immediately stood up again. Just as she had once said herself, she really didn’t know the meaning of calm.
But the way she kept moving regardless might be a good match for me.
“Really?”
“I hate it when people joke about such things or say it was just a game, so I would never say it myself.”
Even though I had recalled something unpleasant as an example, I think I was probably still smiling.
“R…r…reall…”
Edamoto-san began to emit some strange noises. Then she cleared her throat to divert away from that and immediately choked. Her constant changes were like a ball bouncing around the room.
As she tried to once again approach me, Edamoto-san voiced an, “Oh,” and wiped her forehead and neck with a handkerchief she had pulled out of her bag. Maybe she had thought it would be rude to come near me while sweaty. Was she trying to be considerate or something else?
She really was a strange girl.
“I’m not sure how to put this… Uh, this is really happening, right? Yeah, it has to be since you’re beautiful, Sayaka-senpai!”
“What kind of reasoning is that?”
What must my face have looked like in her dreams?
“I’m more worried about you,” I added. “Don’t you get bored of things easily?”
“Oh, about that.”
Edamoto-san looked into my eyes. Steadily, a warm hue spread across her face.
Then she offered me her outstretched hand.
“I’m going to find all kinds of new aspects of you every day, Sayaka-senpai. So I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“I see…”
What a very Edamoto-san answer. By now, I had gotten to know her well enough that I could confidently think such things.
Edamoto-san would reassure herself by looking for constant changes within me.
In turn, I would be assured by finding something in her that was unchanging… That was the feeling I had as I took her hand. As I grasped it, I looked at her face as though for the first time.
She was unlike anyone I had met until now. Her bearing was a far cry from any of the people I had previously fallen for. And, right now, I was trying to accept her.
Thus, that was how I came to date Edamoto Haru.
After that, it was my turn to have a sleepless night.
No matter how hard I tried or how many times I tossed and turned, it yielded no results, so I gave up in the end. I pulled off the thin comforter and sat up.
It was like there was light in the back of my eyes and closing them was no use.
As I gazed at the wall in my pitch-black room, I remembered how I hadn’t been able to sleep the day I started dating Yuzuki-senpai, either. Maybe idiosyncrasies like that just never got better.
Leaving the lights off, I absentmindedly passed the time. Though I felt fidgety, I didn’t feel sick. I felt something through my fingertips like tension and excitement mixing together, as though something were about to start.
Since everyone else in the house, the cats included, was naturally asleep, my home was the very picture of tranquility. I couldn’t even hear the cries of the insects beyond my window, as if they didn’t want to disturb the quiet. Tonight, there weren’t even many sounds from the rest of the neighborhood; it was quiet enough to even feel deserted.