I wasn’t sure whether that meant my outlook had expanded or if I had simply given up because I couldn’t see what was ahead of me anymore. I wonder if my elementary school self would be satisfied with who I am now.
We arrived at the music room that served as the choir clubroom. I could hear loud sounds from within, and when I opened the door, I found that they were in the middle of moving the desks aside. One of the underclassmen greeted me as she worked, so I gave her a simple greeting in return.
“See, Sayaka-chan? Everyone really does count on you,” Senpai said.
“All I did was say hello…”
Still, I laughed a little at Senpai’s joke.
I chose the choir club because it was low commitment. I didn’t need an instrument, and I could do it alone. Besides, though I knew how to play the piano, I didn’t have much experience with singing. Even if I was no longer putting on a bold front like I had in elementary school, it didn’t hurt to gain some new skills.
I was slightly late, so they had already almost finished preparing everything for the day.
“I’m only going to be able to see you here for a little bit longer,” Senpai said as she looked at the empty space where the desks had been. Then, she turned to look at me.
“Senpai?” I was at a loss. She looked a bit awkward too, despite being the one who said it in the first place, as she scrunched up her eyes and smiled.
“Let’s give it everything we’ve got.”
“Right…”
Her voice sounded a little weak to me, as did my own.
She might have wanted to say something else, but I had no way of telling at the time. Just like in math, there are some things that just can’t be solved until you learn the right formula.
There were about twenty people in the choir, about half of whom were third years; only three were first years. The choir would probably have trouble surviving in two years, I thought. According to our advisor, the choir club was in a perpetual cycle of dying out and being revived. There was a chance it might disappear again by the time I graduated.
Still, choir was pretty refreshing. It demanded something different compared to my lessons from elementary school, which were always about simply making myself better than the rest. In choir, I had to be aware of whether I was in harmony with those around me. I wasn’t planning to apply myself too intensely to choir activities, so I was careful not to draw too much attention to myself.
Under the club advisor’s supervision, we all sang the parts we were given for our daily exercise. During that time, I looked around at the faces of the club members, checking in on my classmates and the underclassmen in particular. Partway through, my eyes met with Yuzuki-senpai, who smiled at me. Feeling a bit awkward, I nodded to her in response.
President, huh? Thinking of the approaching responsibility, I heaved a little sigh.
“Are you coming, too, Saeki-san?” another club member asked me while we did some light cleaning and put the music room’s desks back in place.
“Why, are you going somewhere?”
“We finished early today, so I was thinking maybe we could grab something light to eat. Right?” She turned to another girl, who nodded in silent agreement.
I did turn them down last time, I thought. “Maybe I’ll come along, then,” I said aloud and then checked the time. “I have to catch my train, though, so I might need to leave early.”
“Yeah, that’s fine!”
My classmates and I put the desks back into position. I brushed dust off my hands and sighed. At some point, bringing money to school had stopped being a bad thing.
I turned my gaze out the window, where the clear skies from the afternoon still persisted. With the strong sunlight lasting later into the day, it felt like the curtain of the season was steadily rising. Summer would arrive before long.
“So you’re going, too?”
“Wah!” I exclaimed in surprise when a voice spoke to me out of the blue. At some point, Senpai had appeared over my shoulder. I hadn’t noticed her approaching me at all, so it felt almost as though she had grown right out of the floor.
“I never would’ve expected that. I thought you were kind of stuffy.”
“What kind of impression do you have of me, exactly?”
Although I might have been a little too straitlaced in grade school.
“Hmm, I see. So you are going.”
“Senpai?”
She nodded and then peered at me with innocent eyes unbefitting of an older student. “Is there room for one more?”
“You mean you, Senpai?” I realized that my eyes had gone wide at the unexpected request.
“Is that a no?”
“No…I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“See, you’ve got the wrong idea about me, too. J’accuse!”
She pointed at me. I wasn’t surprised about that—it was just that I hadn’t expected an upperclassman to want to hang out with younger students. I always assumed it was normal for students to group together based on their years, and judging by the way things normally went, that assumption wasn’t wrong. So maybe it wasn’t unexpected so much as a little unusual.
“It’s fine with me, but I’ll have to ask the others.”
Senpai’s face lit up. “Great! Thanks.”
It wasn’t even set in stone yet, but she looked cheerful as she went back to cleaning up.
She was going because I was going…? But why?
I had met a girl like that once before…but this couldn’t be like that.
“Yuzuki-senpai said that she also wanted to go.”
When I told the classmate from earlier that, her eyes went wide. “Senpai?”
“I know. I didn’t expect it either.”
“Everyone’s just full of surprises today.”
“Yeah, I thought she was too proper for that.”
“She is kind of easygoing, though,” my classmate weighed in. I agreed with her impression.