The darkness was present.
In that place not a ray of light, no sound, no smell, not even the faintest quiver of spiritual pressure existed—the space was dominated by endless darkness and silence.
Reflexively swallowing his saliva, he only felt his throat move—no sound was produced by the action. He shivered and felt his teeth occasionally grinding together, but of course, he sensed nothing but the tactility of that action.
To Shuhei Hisagi at that moment, the world had contracted to consist only of the pressure under his feet and the feeling of his zanpaku-to gripped in his hand.
Hisagi wondered whether the Muken that he had heard rumors of was a place like this and thought that the criminals who had been trapped in such a place would surely have broken before even a day passed. Hisagi made that abrupt conjecture because he instinctively understood that if he did not think of something, he would end up crushed by his fear.
Just how long would this hell of nothingness go on?
He felt like he could hear something behind him.
However, he only felt as though he had heard something.
In actuality the soundlessness had continued, but Hisagi could not help but feel that there was something there.
A monster.
A monster vastly more frightening than any Hollow was immediately behind him, opening its huge maw.
A memory of his old friend’s death came into his mind.
In the next moment, the face of his friend’s corpse was replaced with his own…
Before he realized it, he had swung his zanpaku-to around toward his back.
However, he wasn’t able to complete the swing.
Hisagi started to shout, believing there really was some kind of monster there, but…
The darkness suddenly cleared.
“Huh…”
Abruptly, all his senses returned and Hisagi remembered. This was the Soul Society at midday, and he was in a forest within the Rukongai that few people approached. And he realized what had stopped his blade was the blade of his captain—his superior officer—at which point he quickly lowered his arms.
“…Captain Tosen.”
He was soaked with sweat, and slightly delayed, his heart started thumping fast.
The light returned, the sound returned, the smells returned, and Hisagi was surrounded by the feeling of being alive.
“I determined that any longer would be dangerous. First, steady your breathing.”
“…I’m sorry. My actions were shameful.”
Though Hisagi lowered his head and gasped for breath, Tosen, who stood before him, quietly shook his head.
“There is nothing to apologize for or feel embarrassed about. If your senses are abruptly stolen, it’s natural to feel fear. As someone who never had light to begin with, I lost the ability to even move when my hearing was blocked.”
“How long was I…in the darkness?”
“Not even a half hour has passed.”
Hearing those words, Hisagi, who was convinced that it had been several hours, was once again mortified by his own inexperience. When he looked up reflexively, the black curtain that had been created over the forest before him collapsed and converged into the zanpaku-to blade Tosen held.
“Is this your bankai, Captain?”
“Suzumushi Tsuishiki, Enma Korogi. That is my bankai’s name.”
What Kaname Tosen first revealed to Hisagi after the Soul Reaper had been appointed assistant captain was his bankai. Normally, one would not share the secret of their bankai so easily with another. No matter how powerful a bankai was, to recklessly allow it to be recognized might eventually become the cause of one’s defeat. That Tosen, who was normally so guarded, would purposefully show Hisagi his bankai, was so that Hisagi could be taught the true nature of fear, Tosen had told him.
Though he felt ashamed that was the only reason he was being shown the bankai, Hisagi also felt hope that his captain had that degree of trust in him. However, what Tosen said next made Hisagi embarrassed for himself.
“You certainly do have fear within yourself. However, I still do not sense fear from your sword and your words.”
With Tosen’s straightforward statement, Hisagi hung his head. He understood his own immaturity. He feared only the darkness and had swung his sword blindly. He compulsively brandished his power in order to dispel and shake off his fear. He was far from reaching the level of Tosen, who fought while allowing the fear to lurk within him.
As Hisagi silently wallowed, Tosen said in a steady tone, “Fear takes many forms.”
Tosen put his zanpaku-to into its sheath and turned toward the sky. It was almost as though his eyes, though unseeing, were following the clouds flowing by.
“The jet-black world you just experienced would provoke fear in anyone. Whether someone knows no light or sound from the start, when a person is born, and when they realize there is a world they did not know about, they will feel fear just the same. Someone who does not fear that in the slightest wouldn’t be human, or Soul Reaper or Hollow; they would be a monster from a place unfamiliar to us.”
“A monster?”
“One who does not know fear will eventually become a monster. The more you and I abandon our fear, the more we move away from being warriors, and the more we approach becoming heartless metastases. That is something you should not forget.”
“I don’t think that would happen to you, Captain Tosen.”
To Hisagi, Tosen was perfect as a warrior and as a Soul Reaper. It would have been one thing for this to happen to someone inexperienced like Hisagi, but if Tosen abandoned his fear, it would only have been because he had conquered it. There was no possibility that his actions would ever lead down the incorrect path, Hisagi thought at the time.
But then Tosen spoke as though admonishing Hisagi and even himself. “I do not know the light. Nor do I see the colors that delineate the world.”
“Captain…?”
“If a time comes when I learn about those things, and I see only hope and pleasure in the remade world, and I forget my fear—at that time, perhaps, I will stop being a warrior.”
Tosen turned his sightless eyes toward Hisagi and expressed simply the words that had been confined within his soul. “We must continue to carry our fear of the path we walk, our pride as Soul Reapers, and we must protect the world itself. Because when we have a path we have yet to know, pride we have yet to learn, and a world we have yet to experience in front of us, we cannot expect that the ground we stand upon will be peaceful forever.”
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