I heard someone running up the stairs, and a voice called out, “Kyou! What do you think you’re doing?!”
Oh crap! I must have made too much noise and now the other people in the house are suspicious.
I panicked. What should I do?
But before I could think of a plan, the door to Kyouichirou’s room flew open.
“You’ll upset the neighbors if you keep making so much noise!” said a young woman in a school uniform.
She was slightly older than me, and her beautiful flaxen hair was tied back in a French braid. Her eyes made her look kind, but she was currently squinting at me as though she were trying with all her might to convince me that she was angry.
“Oh, uh, I’m terribly sorry about that,” I said. “This is, umm. Well, you see…” But that’s as far as I got before I realized who I was talking to. “Fumika? Is that you?”
Her gentle eyes. Her full hourglass figure. And, most of all, her voice—the whispery tones of my favorite voice actress. For a second, I wondered if her voice actress was here, putting on an act. But no—though the voice was the same, she wasn’t acting. She was saying those lines for real.
Oh, that voice! The way she moved! Her presence! There was no mistaking it. This was Fumika from Dungeon Magia, in the flesh.
One of my favorite characters from a dating sim was right in front of me—a girl I’d even dreamed about. I was practically shaking. It was enough to make me completely forget that I was Kyouichirou.
Wow! The real Fumika! She was so damn cute! Just seeing her lovely form in front of me was purifying my unclean heart.
As I sat there mulling over how Dungeon Magia was truly the best game of all time, Fumika frowned at me.
And, in that beautiful voice, she said, “Why in the world are you calling me by my name? You always call me Sis! If this is some prank, I’m going to be mad, you know!”
“I-I’m sorry, uh… S-Sis?”
What was that? Fumika? She was whose sister, now?
“That’s right! I’m your dear sister. And don’t you forget it! …What’s the matter, Kyou? Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
“Kyou?”
I forgot I was still Kyouichirou!
Wait. Hold on. Fumika is Kyouichirou’s elder sister?!
What kind of a sick joke is this? Ha-ha, what a laugh! This little plot detail was news to me. Absolutely none of the official reference books mentioned anything about this. Kyouichirou’s and Fumika’s faces looked so different they might as well have been from completely different species. And now you’re telling me they’re brother and sister?
“…Wait. Hold on a sec.”
It was hard to believe at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t all that far-fetched.
Fumika’s last name was never revealed anywhere in the game. And, come to think of it, during a special quest event, she said something along the lines of “My dear brother was recently attacked by spirits…” I always wondered who she was talking about.
But Kyouichirou? And Fumika? Family? That meant her full name was Fumika Shimizu.
This shocking revelation almost made my poor brain explode. Fumika was my sister. Fumika was my sister. Fumika was my sister. I was moved. I was incredulous. I was ecstatic. My brain was about to liquefy and start leaking out my ears.
After watching me panic for a moment, Fumika sighed and said, “What is it? You’re acting so strange today, Kyou.”
Even exasperated, she looked positively gorgeous.
I took a moment to reassess the situation.
I was now Kyouichirou Shimizu, the extremely weak weirdo jerk of a tutorial miniboss from the incredibly popular dating sim RPG Spirit Wars: Dungeon Magia.
If my life followed the same course as the original plot, a miserable future awaited me:
I would mouth off to the protagonists, get my ass handed to me, and then a boss enemy would come out of nowhere and eat me whole.
But I wasn’t about to let that happen. No way in hell.
In other words, I was going to have to lower every death flag leading to Kyouichirou Shimizu’s seemingly inevitable demise. That would be my first order of business.
To achieve that, I was going to have to start collecting information. And the first thing I needed to know was…
“Say, Fumika… Err, I mean Sis. This might be a weird question, but what year is it? On the imperial calendar, I mean.”
It was lunchtime, and Fumika and I were sitting together in the living room. I was stuffing my face with the hamburger steak and grated vegetables Fumika had prepared. I figured it would be best to come right out and ask her when this was in the timeline.
To be honest, I was still recovering from the shock that the Fumika, now my sister, had served me a home-cooked meal. I was in heaven. The taste was unbelievable. And more importantly, it was filled with love. If I had been anyone other than Kyouichirou, everything would have been perfect.
“What sort of question is that?” she asked, puzzled.
Her reaction was completely understandable. What normal person would randomly forget what year it was?
“Well, it sort of slipped my mind. Isn’t that just like me?” I answered casually. That seemed like the most believable excuse.
Based on Kyouichirou’s appearance, I was pretty sure he was that kind of guy… Probably.
“What am I going to do with you? If you’d stop getting into silly little fights all the time, I bet your memory would improve!”
“S-sorry, Sis.”
It seemed like I was on the right track. Still, this guy must’ve been on another level if that was a believable reason to forget what year it was. How depressing to think I was now him.
“It’s Imperial Year 1189,” Fumika said. “You had better remember it from now on!”
“Thanks, Sis. By the way, this food is incredible. Especially the soup. It might be the best soup I’ve ever had. The hint of yuzu compliments this sea bream broth perfectly!”
To keep her from getting suspicious, I covered up my question with praise for her cooking. I wasn’t lying, either. Each dish she’d made was incredible, and it seemed like a natural transition.
Fumika was gorgeous, and a good cook to boot. How could any woman be so perfect? And since it was 1189, counting backward from the start of the game, that would make her sixteen… Wait, sixteen?! That would put her in her first year of high school. In the world of Dungeon Magia, that translated to year one of general upper academia. Despite being a student, her housekeeping skills were unreal. I was in complete awe.
“Hmph! Flatter me all you want—you won’t get anything beyond a second helping.” She grabbed our empty bowls and hurried off to the kitchen.
The slightly embarrassed look on her face as she left the room was so cute. I couldn’t help noticing that she’d snagged herself a second helping as well. Absolutely adorable.
So, it’s 1189, huh…?
I watched with pride as my sister filled both our bowls with more seasoned rice. Meanwhile, I crunched a few numbers in my mind.
If the memories I had from my previous life were correct, Dungeon Magia’s story began in Imperial Year 1192. I had woken up in 1189, right at the beginning of spring. In other words, there were about three years until Kyouichirou would mouth off and get himself eaten for breakfast.