Outside the gate, we waited for the taxi Saijou called. At some point, it started snowing—tiny flakes that heralded the end of winter and the start of spring.
“Ushio-san,” Saijou called.
“Yeah?”
“I was the one who called the mass media to your mother’s grave.”
Silently, Ushio shoved both hands into his coat pockets.
“When your grandfather passed, I lashed out at Homare-san. I told him I wished it was he who had died instead. To this day, I suspect those words have never left him.”
“Right,” Ushio replied in a tiny voice. Then a wry smile spread on his face—a surprisingly genuine expression—and he shrugged. “Thing is, it still pisses me off. To this day, I can’t bring myself to hate you; I remember you camping out at the polls on election day, from morning to night. But with my dad…it’s complicated. And I bet it’s complicated for him too. We share the same blood, so it’s impossible to stay impartial. There’s no love or affection, but hey, sometimes father-son relationships are just like that.”
“…As long as you can accept it…”
Just then, Eba reappeared outside the gates. “Brrr, it’s cold! Hey! Come set up a guest bed!” He had to have heard me screaming my head off, but evidently, he was committed to keeping his nose out of it.
“A guest bed? Aren’t you going home?”
“Homare said I could spend the night… Oh!” He saw Ushio and grinned. “Hey, hold out your hand.”
Perplexed, Ushio did as asked. Like a magician, Eba produced some candy from his kimono sleeve and dropped them into his palm, one after another.
“There, lots of candy for you.” Then he reached out and ruffled Ushio’s hair with a soft smile.
“…Thank you…”
“You’ve really grown up, kid,” he said. “You’re all grown up… I’m glad to see it.”
It was like Ushio was fifteen again, way before I ever met him. A pair of headlights approached. But just before we got into the taxi, he whispered, “If anything, I think you were the one who hooked me. You jumped in front of my bike like you were angling for the insurance money.”
“Shove it, daddy’s boy.”
I hadn’t given any thought to what would happen after I successfully reclaimed him, and to be honest, I was a little nervous, but it felt like we were back as our normal selves. Ah, the luxury of normal. But when I heard the address Ushio gave to the taxi driver, I reflexively grabbed his arm.
“Hey, wait!” I said.
“Huh?”
I mean, there’s nothing there… Does he not know that? Now I was sweating for an entirely different reason.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Uhhh…” How could I begin to tell him? It was impossible. Man, what am I gonna do now? Should I have punched his dad while I was there?
“Sorry, what address am I taking you to…?” the driver asked.
“The one I just said is fine, thanks,” Ushio said firmly. He patted me lightly on the back as I fumbled. “Don’t worry, I think I know where this is going. I just need to see it for myself.”
“…Okay.”
I wanted to tell him everything—meeting his grandmother, my mother’s surgery, what I heard from Eba—but I was so sick with anxiety, I couldn’t volunteer anything more serious than, “So what’s this about playing baseball in Osaka?” Then, when we arrived at what was once his house, he seemed to intuit what had happened and stared up at the sky.
“Ugh, they screwed me over… At least my equipment’s safe in that storage unit,” he muttered to himself, then turned to me. “Sorry about this. Did you see it after I was gone? That must have freaked you out. I’m so sorry.”
I reached up and slapped him in the face—not with my full strength like usual, but enough to make an airy sound. He stared back at me, his mouth hanging open.
“That’s not the fucking issue here!” An itchy heat spread across my palm; a single snowflake landed upon it and instantly melted. I clenched my hand into a fist and pressed it against his shoulder. “You know it’s not!”
✦ ✦ ✦
You always put my feelings first, and I hate it!
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Kei.” He embraced me tenderly, like I was something fragile. “My house is gone, and I’m devastated. But I still have what matters most, and it’s all thanks to you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and held him back as tightly as I could. At long last, the time had come…to bawl my eyes out.