Chapter 13

3 Judging by his reaction, I could see it wasn’t going as expected. “Is there a problem?” This can’t be right. There shouldn’t be anything that can block “System Interference”… It looked like “The Fourth Wall” was able to block the interference of not only incarnations, but also goblins. That meant no one, including me, could see my attribute menu. Interesting. I had the perfect setup to become a con man. “If you can’t do it, never mind.” W-wait! I should be able to— Argh. What if I try this? “I said, it’s fine.” Gyaaagh! Bihyeong had apparently touched something he wasn’t supposed to, and screamed like he had suffered a nasty shock. His fluffy white fur was singed black. Th-this thing! It just— “Enough of that. Forget about it and just do me a favor.” I can’t stop here. I’m Bihyeong the goblin. On my goblin’s honor, I must solve this— I looked at the clock. It had been an hour since I’d been swallowed by the angler dragon. There was no time to waste. “Goblin Shop.” Bihyeong stopped flailing in the air. What? “Open the Goblin Shop.” ……How do you also know about that? “Are you going to open it or not?” An incarnation without a sponsoring constellation can’t use— “Yes, all the incarnations who use the Goblin Shop happen to have sponsoring constellations. But there’s no rule that an incarnation without a sponsoring constellation can’t use the shop.” Hang on. Bihyeong took out a manual and began to read over it. After a long silence, he spoke. ……At this point, I don’t even know who’s the real goblin here. He stared vacantly into the air, then shook his head and continued. Fine. There’s no problem with you using the shop. But due to regulations, the Goblin Shop can be only opened when the channel is online. You okay with that? “That’s fine.” [Channel #BI-7623 is online.] [Constellations are entering.] An electric flash, and a translucent screen appeared before my eyes. [Welcome to the Goblin Shop.] The Goblin Shop. This was the “cash shop” of this messed-up world. In the scenarios of TWSA, coins have two important uses. One is to increase overall stats such as stamina or strength. The other is to serve as the common currency for shops like the one I was looking at now. [Limited time offer! The Starter Pack is only 2,500 coins!] [Special Sale! Grow faster than anyone with the 300% Growth Package!] [Did you accidentally pick a crappy incarnation? Don’t worry! A Random Attribute Box will randomly change your incarnation’s attributes!] A dizzying array of various packages and other items. All the ads were aimed at constellations looking to power up their incarnations. It made sense. The Goblin Shop was made for constellations to begin with. I closed the pop-up ads one by one and organized my thoughts. Compared to the legitimate calamities appearing after the fifth scenario, a sea commander was nothing. But in the early scenarios when the incarnations were still weak, it was almost an insurmountable force of nature. It was crucial that I purchase a very specific set of items from the Goblin Shop, if I was to stand a chance of defeating the angler dragon. Let’s see… After flipping through the catalog for a while, I looked over at Bihyeong. “Hey, is this all that’s available for purchase? There should be a search function.” Oh, that’s…… Damn it. Hang on. Dear constellations! Please calm down. Listen to me. From the moment the channel had reopened, Bihyeong had been begging and pleading with his viewers, cartoonish beads of sweat dripping down his head. It was just a server error! I didn’t cut off the stream on purpose. I swear! Currently, there were twenty-something stars shining above Bihyeong’s head. Judging by the number that had come back, there were quite a lot of constellations watching me. Of course, not everyone was favorable toward me. [A small number of constellations suspect foul play in this channel.] [A small number of constellations are raising allegations that you are getting special treatment.] I’d expected this to happen. Not only had a hidden scenario started while the channel was offline, but the Goblin Shop had been opened. What? Special treatment? Please, I’m a goblin. I’d be disintegrated the moment I tried anything like that. C’mon, you know how strict the storyteller’s oath is! “Hey, a little help here?” ……The search button is in the bottom right corner. “Thanks.” I left Bihyeong to struggle on his own and pressed the magnifying glass button hidden at the bottom of the package window. [The item search function has been activated.] [You are limited to five searches per day. You must pay 100 coins per additional search.] Humans or goblins, exploitative business practices are the same everywhere. The total number of searches I could do was five. It would only take two to find everything I needed, and I’d have three searches left. [Constellation Secretive Plotter is curious about your plan.] Of course you are. Watch closely. [Constellation Abyssal Black Flame Dragon regards everything you do with annoyance.] Don’t like it? Then don’t watch. “Search ‘Ancient Dragon.’” [There are three results.] Soon, a small pop-up window appeared. The Heart of the Ancient Dragon - Stock: ? The Bone of the Ancient Dragon - Stock: 1 The Horn of the Ancient Dragon - Stock: 1 I selected the Heart of the Ancient Dragon. <Item Information> Name: The Heart of the Ancient Dragon Grade: SSS Description: A heart imbued with the mana of the Ancient Dragon Ignitus. Contains near-limitless mana. Upon successful transplant, grants the “Hellfire” attribute. Price: 1,500,000C Stock: Just sold out. As I thought, it was sold out. Bihyeong paused his efforts to placate the constellations and stared incredulously. You crazy— How the hell do you know about the Ancient Dragon? “I just typed something that seemed cool.” …Sounds like a lie. I shrugged. According to TWSA, the owner of this heart was in Italy right now. Lucky bastard. He has a filthy-rich sponsor who buys him high-level items like this. I searched for a few more items. [Displaying search results.] Arch Demon’s Eyeball - Stock: 0 White Star Weapon Aura - Stock: 1 I couldn’t believe the Arch Demon’s Eyeball was sold out as well…Constellations sure are quick. Well, not that I could’ve afforded the one-million-coin price tag anyway. Must be nice having a sponsor. The incarnation who’d received the Arch Demon’s Eyeball would have it on easy mode through the early scenarios and shoot ahead of everyone else. What are you, really? Are you using some kinda cheat code? How do you know about the stuff that can only be viewed via the search function? Out of the three items I’d searched for, the only one in stock was White Star Weapon Aura. What, you’re not gonna buy it? “I can’t right now. I’m just browsing.” Tch, then why did you make me open the shop? “I’ll buy something else, so bring up the items I call out.” Soon, a list appeared in front of me. Hammer Seahorse’s Mucus - Stock: 124 Stone Hog’s Thorn - Stock: 17 I carefully checked the list against my memory. The hammer seahorse, an aquatic species that is a common prey of angler dragons, and the stone hog, which is a natural enemy of aquatic species…I’m sure of it. This is the most efficient combination for dealing with an angler dragon. “Four bags of mucus and four thorns. Eight hundred coins should be enough, right?” Yes, but…what’re you gonna do with that junk? “You don’t need to know.” ……I’m not trying to interfere, but how about purchasing something else? Like Moon Shadow Sword Technique. It’s normally eight thousand coins, but I’ll sell it to you now for only four thousand. It’ll help you clear the scenario. “Thanks, but I’ll just take these.” Bihyeong seemed disappointed but sold me the items I asked for. [You’ve spent 800 coins.] Something like a cloud of shimmering dust began to coalesce in the darkness, until it turned into four long thorns and four pouches filled with mucus. Well, it’s too late to change your mind. No refunds. You know that, right? “I know.” I nodded curtly and went to work. I took off my jacket and tied it into a loop, where I stuck the thorns. As for the pouches, I tied them around my waist. A Stone Hog’s Thorn is blunt on one side, but tapers into a sharp spike on the other side. It’s about a meter long. Perfect for piercing something. Hmm…… All right, then. I should get going. I can’t stick around ’cause something interesting is happening outside, too. “You do that.” Ha-ha. Good luck. May the blessing of the stories be with you. Once the glowing goblin had disappeared, darkness fell once again. I could’ve used the flashlight on my phone, but I needed to save the battery as much as possible. Thankfully, the thorns emitted a bluish glow. It was quite dim, but I’d have to rely on that light source for a while. I pulled one of the thorns from my waist and swung it a few times. Maybe it was because I didn’t have any technical skills like “Weapon Proficiency” or “Man-at-Arms,” but the thorn felt unwieldy in my hands. [A small number of constellations are bored.] It was about time for the more impatient constellations to leave the channel. Although I couldn’t see from here, Bihyeong must’ve been feeling quite anxious, too. Another hour passed. Right, left, up, and down. It still didn’t feel quite right, but I could now wield the thorn without issue. It had a rough surface, so there was no danger of it slipping out of my grip, either. Time to get started. I stabbed the angler dragon’s stomach lining with a reasonable amount of force. Boing! The thorn bounced right off as if it had hit a hard rubber wall. The angler dragon’s stomach lining was too tough to pierce with my strength stat. Even if I used a skill, the result would be the same. It was at that moment small holes near the top of the stomach opened all at once. With a loud gurgle, a torrent of revolting liquid gushed out of them. “Kraaagh!” A demonic being that was floating among the debris began to scream. The angler dragon had begun digesting. Its stomach acid quickly mixed with the river water and began to dissolve the chunks of concrete and other bits of debris, including the one I was standing on. Fwoooosh! …Time was running out. I had to proceed with my plan. I jumped with all my strength off the floating panel and grabbed onto a bump on the stomach wall. Then I did my best imitation of a rock climber and slowly made my way up. Right above me, one of the open glands was gushing digestive acid. I held a thorn in my mouth and opened one of the bags at my waist. Hammer Seahorse’s Mucus. I scooped out a bit of the weird-smelling black liquid and rubbed it all over the thorn. Like putting on shaving cream before a close shave, I thoroughly covered every bit of the thorn with the mucus. Just as shaving cream protects your face from the razor, this mucus would protect the thorn from the digestive acid. Here goes nothing. I pointed the thorn at a stomach acid gland. The angle was precise, and I used all the strength I had. Kshk! A bit of the corrosive fluid sprayed onto my arm and melted through the skin. But despite the horrific pain, I didn’t stop. One mistake now, and it was game over. [Exclusive skill “The Fourth Wall” partially alleviates the pain.] Fwooosh. Slosh. Drip. Driiip… At last, the thorn was wedged tightly into the gland. “That’s one down.” I paused briefly to catch my breath, then took out another thorn. Once again, I covered it with the Hammer Seahorse’s Mucus and rammed it into another gland. [A small number of constellations are impressed by your composure.] [They have donated 200 coins.] Rinse and repeat. I blocked three glands in the same way. There were a few smaller ones left, but not much stomach acid came out of those tiny openings. I controlled my breathing as I untied my jacket and wrapped it around the tip of a thorn that was lodged into the stomach wall. I now had one thorn and two bags of mucus left. I smeared the mucus all over my body and clothes, and drank the rest. “Ugh.” It left behind a salty and fishy aftertaste, but it was better than dying. This was nothing compared to the calamity I’d have to endure in the future. At the five-minute mark, the angler dragon’s stomach began to convulse violently. Kraaaaaah—! The gargantuan beast roared in pain. The veins lining the stomach wall were reddening. It was going as planned. Nestled among the veins, the thorns that were rammed into the glands began their metabolic activity. I recalled this information from TWSA. A Stone Hog’s Thorn reacts to the bodily fluids of aquatic species. Crack. Craaaack. The thorns were immune to the corrosive effect of the digestive juice, thanks to their coat of mucus. They began to absorb the angler dragon’s bodily fluid and spread their roots into the monster’s body. The Stone Hog’s Thorns wouldn’t stop growing until the angler dragon was completely dead. Kraaaah—! I looked down at the swirling pool of deadly liquid below me and gripped the thorn tightly. I’d done everything I could. The rest was a matter of willpower. Either I die, or this monster dies. There will only be one survivor.