Chapter 36

Interlude Nina Back then, I was engaged as a priest in relief work for the refugees. When the Demon Lord’s army invaded, thousands of people were driven out of their homes. More and more people fell into this plight with each passing day, and somebody had to help. When I was first starting out, support came from a variety of different nations, but as the war worsened, the countries had their own problems to worry about, and fewer of them lent a helping hand. We ended up in a precarious state—no country accepted refugees, and there weren’t enough rations to go around. Such was my situation when two particular people approached me: a man and a woman, working together. The man glared churlishly at the refugees, while the woman rushed over to me, evidently concerned about the sheer numbers. I had no recollection of the man, but I did feel as if I had seen the woman somewhere before. “Are you Nina?” the man asked me. He had unruly blond hair, and though he wasn’t particularly tall, he did have a toned physique. He looked at me with stern, gruff eyes. “I am, yes. And you are?” “I’m Leonard.” “And I’m Sophia.” The woman was very pretty. She wore glasses and had purple streaks in her black hair that made a very strong impression. The male refugees were looking at her with interest. “May I ask what business you have with me?” I said with polite coldness. “Aww, chill out. We just wanted to have a little chat.” The man named Leonard flashed me a flippant grin. I could see where this was going—I’d experienced it more than a few times already. The war had depleted the number of available priests, and so every country’s military was keen to recruit them. I was either being scouted for an army or for an adventurer’s party, where priests often earned money by taking on jobs like a mercenary. These two looked like a classic example of the latter. “If you’re inviting me into your party, I must refuse. Right now, helping these people is my biggest priority, and I don’t have the means for anything else.” I glanced toward the people sitting nearby. Society scorned these individuals, calling them refugees. They had nowhere to live and nothing to eat. In so many ways, they had been left behind. “Are you an idiot or what?” Leonard’s eyebrows creased into a heavy frown. “You might think it’s hip and cool to stick with these guys, but they’re at a dead end. There’s no helping them. They’ll just drag you down with them. What’s the point in doing that?” “Because I want to do it. I don’t need any reason.” “So you’re in it for yourself.” Leonard shrugged, a gesture of derision. Later, I would learn that this was something of a habit of his. “When it comes down to it, you’re not really trying to help them. You’re just reaching out to whatever’s in front of you, trying to feel good about yourself. Whoop-dee-doo.” He did not mince words. There was some truth to what he’d said, which hit me in a sore spot. I had never met anyone who would open a conversation on such an awful note. “Could you please leave? You are being disrespectful,” I said, turning my back to Leonard. “Wait up a moment! Could you hear me out a bit?!” the woman named Sophia added hurriedly. “Do you remember me at all? We’ve never spoken directly, but we fought together in Malika ten years ago…” Her words jogged some vague memories. When I’d participated in the volunteer army at Malika, there had been a young mage girl around my age. She had worn glasses, I recalled, and she’d had beautiful long black hair. That being said, I’d had no idea what’d happened to her at the battle since we’d been stationed at different posts. “I remember you, yes. I see; so you lived…” A tear ran down my cheek, unbidden. It was my first time meeting a survivor from that battle. Everyone said the volunteer army had been completely wiped out, and so I had always thought I was the lone survivor. “It’s not worth getting sentimental about. I only survived because I played dead. I was a total disgrace,” Sophia said, as if it were an amusing anecdote. Yet her eyes had welled with tears, too. “I apologize for what this bozo said,” Sophia added, slapping the back of Leonard’s head. Leonard scowled as he nursed his head. It made for a bit of a funny scene, and it got me thinking that perhaps he wasn’t quite as horrid a person as I’d imagined. “Want to swap stories for a bit? Preferably somewhere not so public,” Sophia suggested, conscious of all the eyes on her. Fair enough, I thought. We were the center of attention for the refugees at that moment. “…Very well,” I said. “Come this way, then.” I invited the pair to my worn-out tent. “To cut to the chase, we’re here to invite you to our party,” were the first words out of Sophia’s mouth when we were in the tent. “As I said before, my hands are tied. I’ve been with these people this whole time. I can’t just go off by myself out of nowhere,” I explained. “You’re staying with them even though you know they’re beyond helping? Aren’t you just running away?” Leonard’s attitude was harsh for someone who was asking me to be his companion. “Shut up, you.” Sophia tried to whack his head again, but he dodged it that time. It was endearing how much they acted like an old married couple. When she hit nothing but air, Sophia clicked her tongue in irritation. “Anyway,” she continued, “I understand your position. But can we at least talk for a bit? I’ll tell you my story, too.” And with that, she started recounting her past. She told me she was a former member of the nobility. That she’d resented it and become an adventurer. That a mage named Rei had saved her life at the battle of Malika. And that, when she’d later struck up work at an apothecary, Leonard had dragged her away. “Time stopped for me at Malika, and I found myself in a rut. This guy might be an asshole, but he gave me a reason to move forward again. He’s not as bad as he looks, you know. At least, I think.” Sophia gave me a cheeky smile. “I see what you’re saying. I’ll share my story, too, then. I believe I can shed a bit of light on what happened to Luke afterward.” At the sound of Luke’s name, Leonard’s expression turned solemn. “I was a merchant’s daughter, so I grew up in a fairly affluent household. My parents were very nice people and devout believers of God. Because of their influence, I believed from a young age, too, and I prayed every single day. At a certain age, I learned the formal prayer method, and I discovered my hands would glow when I clasped them together. The light was very faint, but it was a divine miracle nonetheless. It meant I had it in me to become a priest.” “Everyone and their dog gets the affinity handed to them on a platter,” Leonard commented grumpily. Sophia glared at him. “You’re right,” I said. “I was blessed with my talent. Did you know I was in the running to be the Holy Maiden? That’s my one little brag.” The current Holy Maiden was a girl named Maria. We had never met, but I imagined she was a purehearted and magnanimous soul. “Why did you, a Holy Maiden candidate, go to the battle at Malika?” Sophia asked, cocking her head. She had gone because she’d been an adventurer, but that wasn’t the case for me. “Because I felt it was the right thing to do. I believed it was God’s will that I fight the Demon Lord’s army and help people.” “God’s will, huh…?” Leonard’s expression was downright nihilistic. “So, Nina, how did you survive Malika?” Sophia asked. I let out a single exhale. “I knew you’d ask that. It was a terrible battle, as you mentioned before. The monsters even came to our healing station, and I had to ward them off with my rod. That’s when I saw Luke. He slashed through his enemies like lightning, overpowering everything in sight. A single slash of his sword killed a monster every time. Even the demons seemed intimidated by him. Except…” I glanced carefully at Sophia. “…Rei was always with him, but when she suddenly disappeared, he went on fighting alone.” Sophia made an audible gulp. This was the part she wanted to know—what had happened to Luke afterward. “Most of the other adventurers had fallen by that point, but he kept up the fight all by himself. He really looked like the Hero. Sadly, he couldn’t stay fighting fit the whole time without any help. Between all the blood from his enemies and his own wounds, he was red from head to toe. He looked as if he was barely standing. It occurred to me that he needed my help. I had to make my divine miracle reach him…” My voice trailed off. “And then what happened?” Sophia pressed. “Nothing happened.” “What?” She was surprised. Leonard grimaced. “My legs were frozen, and I couldn’t move,” I explained. “At some point—I don’t know when—I’d become trapped by my fear of the battlefield. I was frightened stiff of the demons. I couldn’t step forward because of that. And so I left Luke to die.” This was the reason I’d never gone to battle again. In truth, I was a coward who couldn’t lift a finger when it mattered most. “It’s not your fault. You and I were both young.” Sophia’s sympathetic words seeped into my heart. She understood how I felt because she had been through something very similar. “So…how did it go down for Luke?” Leonard asked in a hard tone. He had said he was once a member of Luke’s party, and so it made sense he was interested in learning the man’s fate, what had happened in that bloodbath. It was understandable that Leonard had lost track of Luke back then. “He threw himself into the enemy lines all by himself. I suspect he was targeting the commander. It was the sole way he could have won, given his disadvantage. All I could do was watch him.” “I see…” Surprisingly, Leonard didn’t reproach me. If anything, he seemed downcast about the fact that he hadn’t been able to join Luke. “And what happened to you, Nina?” Sophia asked out of concern. “A demon mercilessly cut me down. The slash wound reached all the way from my shoulder to my torso.” My fingers ran down my body, tracing the scar. Sophia’s eyes boggled. “How on earth did you survive that?!” “The one thing I have talent in is divine miracles. After the demon cut me and left me there to bleed out, I must have unconsciously healed my wound. Apparently, it had already closed up by the time the royal army arrived at the battlefield to rescue me. The cleric who came along with the army had a lot of praise for me. ‘I can see why you chose to go to Malika out of your own free will, given your skills,’ he said.” I shook my head. “He couldn’t have been more mistaken. I’m a filthy girl who saved herself and no one else. I did nothing when Luke died. And that’s why I help the refugees now, because I want to do at least something for other people. I couldn’t possibly join someone’s party and fight.” I closed my eyes, signaling an end to the conversation. Leonard ignored that, however. “What stupid logic is that? If your legs were frozen that time, then just move them next time,” he said, sidling up to me. “You failed once, and now it’s over? You’re not even going to try a second time? What kind of perfect life did you have?” He was very blunt and to the point. I could feel his anger, as well as his sadness. “Why are you so upset about that?” I asked. “I’m not upset. I’m just pissed at people like you who run from their problems. Stand up and fight again, Nina. Are you really gonna settle for this?” No, I wasn’t happy about settling. I knew I was being a quitter. Back then, I had genuinely wanted to fight for other people. And I couldn’t apologize enough to everyone who had died because I had turned my back on this world in its wretched state. Luke’s name was first and foremost among them. When I stepped out of the tent, the refugees’ eyes were on me. They had all accompanied me here, and now they were looking at me with distinct unease. “…Even so,” I said finally, “I cannot abandon these people.” Those were my true feelings as well. “Even with you around, the only thing they can do is run. You’re not getting anywhere,” Leonard told me. “If you wanna save them all, then it’s more constructive to go out there and earn it with your body.”