I stepped into the dining hall, grunting like some guy in his forties.
I would’ve never imagined that something as simple as taking a bath could be so fulfilling—and that’s coming from a NEET. It was so good that I even started humming halfway through.
Back in the hardware store, we’d heat up a batch of water using a portable gas stove, soak it up with a towel, and take turns washing ourselves while the other stood guard. It was just to reduce our scents, and it felt awfully mechanical and not relaxing in any way.
“What took you?” Otoha asked with a tinge of irritation in her voice.
“It was just too good.”
“I see you’ve found our bathing facilities to your liking.” Tetsuko appeared from the back of the dining hall, wheeling along a stainless steel cart. It was the kind you’d expect to see in a fine dining establishment.
When I think of a maid, this is what comes to mind. Not shotguns, no siree. Anything but shotguns.
“Did I ever!”
“Did we ever,” Otoha corrected.
“Splendid. Come along now. Your food is ready.” With that, Tetsuko turned on her heel and led us to the table they had prepared for us.
This wasn’t just any table, oh no. It was one of those fancy-schmancy tables that could seat dozens of people, although presently there were only ten chairs. A nice white tablecloth had been laid over the top, and an assortment of neatly arranged cutlery adorned each position.
“You’ll have to settle for my subpar cooking,” she said, unloading the cart. “Our chef... Well, let’s just say he’s seen livelier days.”
Holy guacamole.
There was dressed salad, bubbling-hot soup, roast beef with a side of mashed potatoes and some neatly sliced carrots, and a pie-looking thing I figured was probably a quiche.
“Not pulling any punches, are we?” Otoha stared blankly at the food, clearly a little intimidated.
“I was told to ‘go all out.’”
“You really shouldn’t have...” It felt a tad ticklish being treated as proper guests when we had mostly come here to take what we wanted.
“Is Shino coming?” Otoha asked as she scanned the area.
To absolutely no one’s surprise, Otoha, being the shining beacon of sensibility that she was, knew basic dining etiquette. I, on the other hand, had just barely caught myself subconsciously reaching for the fork like some sort of savage.
Shame on you, man.
“Lady Shino’s... in her room.”
Why the slight pause?
“Is there something we should know?”
“There’s a second room adjacent to hers: the gaming lair, as it were.”
She had her very own dedicated man—err, womancave. That explained why her bedroom was lacking in gaming paraphernalia haphazardly scattered across the room. Wouldn’t want to ruin the clean, minimalistic feel.
“I haven’t seen her emerge in ages.”
“So she’s a shut-in?”
“If that is how you wish to put it,” Tetsuko said as she poured us water from a bottle.
I could see why she had taken us directly to Shino’s room.
“Dig in while it’s still hot.”
“If you insist.” I of all people was in no position to give Shino flak, so I kept my mouth shut. I sliced off a juicy piece of roast beef, and down the hatch it went.
Otoha and I were speechless for a few solid seconds.
“This roast beef right here, it hits different. Right, Otoha?”
“It sure does.”
I’d give anything to make this moment of pure bliss last forever.
“Food is best when fresh.” Tetsuko was practically glowing with an air of confidence.
Store-bought roast beef had its place, but nothing beat fresh food. It wasn’t even a contest. Tastewise, this was up there with a premium cut of steak.
“Finally, some good food.” After what had felt like eons of canned food and cup noodles, a real meal was a welcome change of pace.
“I picked up all the ingredients myself.”
Huh? Where’d she get a cut of beef like that in this day and age? Unless it’s actually zombie meat, but I don’t even wanna go down that road.
“I go out shopping somewhere about three times a week,” Tetsuko said matter-of-factly. “Cold storage is—well, was—commonly outsourced to third-party logistics companies. Typically, products would stay in refrigerated warehouses before being shipped off to the end users. A good number of them still have access to electricity, thanks to the maintenance work done by walkers who appear to be repeating past behavioral patterns. Regular stores weren’t quite as lucky, unfortunately.”
Cold storage facilities you’d find in your local supermarket weren’t anywhere near as efficient as refrigerated warehouses. The latter could reasonably afford to make the transition into solar energy, the former not so much.
“Did you happen to serve in the JSDF by any chance?”
Tetsuko played it off like it was no big deal, but most people probably wouldn’t consider setting out all alone into a zombie-infested wasteland “shopping.” Grabbing every can of food in sight was stressful enough, but sorting through everything on the spot wasn’t my idea of a good time. Despite that, she deliberately went for only the finest ingredients.
Then there was the combat loading—and with a shotgun at that.
I didn’t think the JSDF had ever used shotguns in any official capacity, but there were a select few armies that had—namely, the U.S. Armed Forces. The rationale was that under certain circumstances, shotguns were, in fact, superior to rifles. It was entirely possible that the JSDF had unofficially armed some of its squads with shotguns to test out their viability.
“I’ve never served a day in my life, but I did train under the wing of a former military instructor in order to serve as Lady Shino’s personal bodyguard. I’m comfortable with handguns, shotguns, assault rifles... the whole package,” she said coolly.
“A little excessive, don’t you think?”
Japan was one of the safest places on the planet—before all this zombie stuff happened, anyway. The bar couldn’t have possibly been that high.
“Due to the size of his trading empire, Master Shouji was forced to do business with all sorts of people. Guerilla movements and criminal organizations included.”
“Alrighty then.”
So what you’re trying to say is that he could’ve been involved in drug trafficking? Okay, maybe I’m being a little uncharitable. What if he was importing legal goods from, say, a politically unstable region? Of course he’d run into the wrong crowd; it comes with the territory. Doesn’t mean he couldn’t go about it in an ethical manner. The founder of one really popular sushi chain reformed large swathes of pirates by teaching them how to catch tuna and then buying it from them, so I know it’s possible.
“As you may have already noticed, Lady Shino is part European—Italian, to be exact. Her late mother was Sicilian.”
“Huh.”
“She... How should I put it? She had ties to the Cosa Nostra. Family ties, that is. She managed to break free of their grasp, but not without a massive target on her and her family’s back.”
I vaguely remembered that Cosa Nostra was the most prominent of the four major organized crime groups in Italy. I was no expert on the matter, but their name had cropped up in pretty much every mafia-related FPS game.
“They even went so far as to try and abduct Lady Shino. On more than one occasion, I might add.”
I’d heard horror stories about the atrocities South American drug cartels would commit to uphold their reputations; I imagined the Cosa Nostra was no different. Terrifying stuff, no doubt.
“Master Shouji was a kind man. He took me in and treated me like his own flesh and blood when I had nowhere to turn. Lady Shino needed a capable bodyguard, so I threw my hat in the ring, and the rest is history.”
“Must’ve been rough.”
“It’s in the past now, for better or for worse.” She shrugged.
The pre-apocalyptic world we called home a mere month ago was now but a dying memory.
“At any rate, our affairs are none of your concern. We’ll manage, with or without you.”
She had a point. The two of us “nobodies” were only managing to live by the skin of our teeth. Tetsuko, on the other hand, had real military training. So long as she didn’t go around slaughtering zombies just for the heck of it, they would probably do fairly well for themselves.
“The warehouses’ll dry up sooner or later. Then what?” Otoha muttered.
“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Tetsuko would follow Shino to the ends of the earth or die trying. The day she abandoned her mistress would be the day she was no longer Tetsuko. If Shino didn’t want to leave, Tetsuko didn’t want to leave either. It was really that simple.
“There’s something more to this, isn’t there?”
Tetsuko kept quiet, but Otoha and I could more or less put the pieces together. I considered the rifle-carrying zombie and this massive mansion with only two people living inside it.
I think it’s safe to say that—
“Your food’s getting cold,” Tetsuko said as she plucked an apple off the cart and peeled it clean with a few quick and deliberate knife strokes.
“That’ll have to do for dessert. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a hungry mouth that needs feeding.” She then sliced the apple up into bite-sized pieces, lined them up on a plate, and set off to deliver Shino’s share of the food.