Her face twisted with rage upon hearing Wataru’s question, and her fists shook with rage as she replied!
“That woman... the head maid, Rio... she asked me if I had any hobbies! And then when I told her I enjoyed taking care of my pet snakes, laughed in my face and called me ‘emo’! Of course I killed her!”
“Huh?”
“I’ve always had pet snakes! And then, for her to laugh at that... I couldn’t forgive her!”
“.......................................You can’t kill someone for a reason like that!!”
Correct, Wataru! Completely and unconditionally correct!
Aria decided that this was the time for her to interject!
“But Wataru, I can understand how she feels!”
“Wh-What in the world are you trying to say, Aria!?”
“Well, I’m a girl, but I like playing with toys marketed to boys, and if someone told me that playing with toys was a ‘kiddie’ thing to do, I’m pretty sure I’d **** them up.”
It’s somewhat against company policy to have a main heroine who says such things, so we’ve done our Dear Readers a favor by bleeping out the four offending letters. Still, it’s clear that Aria was being completely serious when she said that!!
“Anyhow, I suppose now that everyone knows I did it... There’s nothing for it except to kill everyone here!” Mira suddenly ripped a small whistle out from her bosom pocket!
“What’re you gonna do!?!?!?”
“I shall have you taste the true power of snake venom!”
“Wh-Whaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?!?!?!?”
She put the red whistle against her lips and blew hard and long!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
The high-pitched sound of the whistle reverberated inside the entrance hall!
And then!!
Out of nowhere, a snake slithered across the marble floor towards our adventurers!
It wasn’t a very thick snake, but at three meters long it was still big! Its skin was a mottled red and brown! It looked abnormally venomous!
Of course, it’s not just Wataru & Co. who were surprised by the sudden appearance of the snake—even our Dear Readers must be finding themselves slack-jawed in amazement at this very moment!
“Wa-Wataru, what do we do!?” Aria panicked and hid behind Wataru!
“Hahaha! You cannot hide from him! Go now and feast, Snakey!”
Mira once again blew the whistle, to the rhythmical tune of a song!!
“Now what!?”
The snake on the floor was twitching in time to the beat of her whistled tune!
“Eeep!” Alibaba let out a whine of terror in a picture of utter patheticness! The snake moved its head in an elliptical arc through the area as it raced right towards Wataru!
“Come and get it!” Wataru roared at the creature, taking a fighting position while wearing the most fearsome expression on his face!
Mira blew even harder on the whistle!
Kshaaaaaaaaa!!!
The snake let out a terrible screech as it leapt at Wataru! It flew through the air at two hundred kilometers per second! From a distance of just two meters away! Any normal person would have found the attack impossible to avoid! But as we all know by now, Wataru is no “normal person”!!
He calmly thrust out his right hand and mowed down the flying snake with his bare hand!
Whing! The dry sound of hand-against-snake was heard—and then with incredible speed, the snake was deflected sideways! But while in midair, the snake twisted its body ever so cleverly to minimize the force of the impact when it hit the floor!
“Heeheehee, your attacks are meaningless! Snakey and I are the best fighting team ever!” Mira had an unpleasant smile on her face as she glared at Wataru!
“Hey, Wataru! There’s no other way! I’ll take care of the snake, and while it’s distracted, you get rid of Mira!” Résistance pulled out her sword from its sheath and roared! And yet—Wataru did not agree to her plan!
“I can’t! I can’t hit a woman!”
Wataru is a hot-blooded fighting teenage Japanese boy! Setting aside the special case of Elphabelle, there’s no way he could ever raise his fists against a woman!
“Hey now, Wataru, this isn’t the time to be saying things like that...”
“Don’t worry! I have an idea!” Saying so, Wataru yanked out “something” from the inner pocket of the coat of his school uniform!
“Th-That...!” Résistance was stunned!
And of course she was! Wataru had just pulled out a microphone in a situation like this!
“Heh, you thinking of using that against me? There’s nothing you can do to change this situation just by whipping out a microphone! Now hurry up and die!”
Mira put the whistle up to her lips again, and again began that rhythmic, whistled tune! The snake resumed its creepy shimmy across the floor towards our hero!
Wataru, watch out!!
—Wataru, however, was not concerned in the slightest! He took a great, deep breath, tightened his grip on the mic... and began to rap!
Dear Readers! Let’s all join in!!!!!
Detective Ito’s here, and I’m bringin’ the heat!
Charmin’ errybody with my rhymes and my beats!!
Use a snake to do battle? Im’a school ya, NEET!
Bring a mic to get loud, and start crankin’ the bass
’Cuz that’s all that I need to start rockin’ the place!
Use my voice to defeat ya while still solvin’ the case!
Things were lookin’ tough, both for me and my friends!
But this anti-snake rap has got us groovin’ again!
I’ve said just ’bout enough, so this is the end!
YEAH!!!!!
Wataru’s face was absolutely demonic as he screamed into the mic! But was there any point to him having totally lost his mind in front of the others like this!? I’m sure many of our Dear Readers are understandably confused by his decision to rap in the midst of battle!
However...... Readers, direct your gaze at that! Look! The snake ignored Mira’s whistled commands and curled up on the floor to take a nap!
“Wh-Why won’t you listen to my whistle!?” Mira was thrown into a state of total confusion!
It was then that Résistance realized what was going on! “Oh, I get it! The snake moves in time to Mira’s whistling! If Wataru raps, though, and drowns out the sound of the whistle, she can’t control it at all!”
Yes! This was Wataru’s plan all along! By rapping unbelievably loudly, the snake would no longer be able to hear the shrill tones of the whistle!!
“You—You cheeky bastard...!”
Mira was visibly angered when she heard how he had ruined her snake-charming, and began to blow her whistle again!
Wheeeeeeeee—
—but it was no use!
The second she began to whistle, Wataru brought the mic back up to his mouth and began rapping again! It was all stupendously cringey to witness, but the participants themselves were totally serious!
Gotta hurry up and settle this once and for all!
Put a zipper on your lippers, so don’t try to call!
If you’re too weak or lack the rhymes to be dissin’ me right
I’ll have that nasty snake pay you back by the end of the night!
This smackdown may be brutal, but ya deserve what ya get!
You’re a creepy emo maid, with a creepy emo pet!
Now listen to the rhyme I proclaim from my throne:
Snakey may belong to you, but you’re the one gettin’ owned!
YEAH!!!!!
Another passionate verse from Wataru!