The Wind Continent is a unique landmass comprising a variety of landscapes: anything from arid wastelands devoid of vegetation to muggy swamplands where it rained all year. While Japan, Wataru’s homeland, varied in climate and landscape depending on the region, the differences in Japan weren’t as dramatic as they were here. Even though Wataru had already spent several days in this fantasy world, there was still much for him to learn in the Wind Continent alone. (Come to think of it, all I know about is the Wind Continent... It would be great to see the other continents, someday!!) With those thoughts in mind, Wataru and the party were quietly trudging through a forest full of conifers. The warm afternoon sunlight poured through the trees above them. “Ugh... I’m getting a little hungry!” Wataru said, and rubbed his ultimate six-pack of steel.
Aria nodded in agreement. “Me, too. And my feet are starting to ache. How much longer until we get to that village, Résistance?”
“We should arrive soon...” Résistance answered.
After a few minutes, the party finally emerged from the forest and were walking into a field. They spotted a small village before them. “Hey, isn’t that it!?” Wataru asked.
“Yes. The first orb should be in that village,” Résistance confidently declared.
The trio walked right into the village in search of the orb. It was a quaint village, a stereotypical farming settlement in the countryside. There was little traffic, and there was nothing but wooden huts and farmland around them. The streets were not paved with stone like those in the Sky Kingdom, but were bare dirt roads.
“Hmm...” Aria muttered loudly. “Are you sure there’s an orb in this backwater podunk?”
“Keep your voice down Aria,” Résistance calmly reprimanded her.
“But look, all the houses are falling apart. Those won’t even keep the rain out.”
“Lower your voice, Aria. The villagers can hear you.”
“You won’t catch me dead living in a jerkwater village like this. I don’t think they even sell Payblades here.” Payblades, by the way, were a line of toys that had swept the Sky Kingdom by storm, and were very similar to a certain series of toys in Wataru’s original world. Aria was a particularly hard-core Payblader. “You must be mistaken, Résistance. No way an orb would be in this middle-of-nowhere, backcountry boondock in the sticks.”
“What did the countryside ever do to you?” Résistance asked. As she did, an elderly man stormed out into the road in front of them. “Shut up, already!!! What in the world is your problem, young lady!?!?!?!?!?” shouted the old man. He was clad in a dirt-stained button-down shirt and brown pants, and was obviously a farmer!
“Um... Excuse me, but you are!?!?” Wataru asked!
“I’m the village elder! What do you want with us, outsider!?!?” the elder answered!
“You’re the village elder! We’re actually on a journey to collect orbs in order to hunt a dragon!!”
Wataru’s answer only enraged the old man further! “What!? Orbs!? No! No!! No!!! The village’s orb is an ancient treasure! And you expect me to hand it over to some disrespectful outsiders!?”
Impossible! Thanks to Aria’s loud insults, they had made the worst impression imaginable on the village elder!!
“Please, Mister Village Elder, sir! We really need the orbs to defeat the dragon!”
“What dragon? Oh, the monster that appeared in the next village over? Let the soldiers handle it! At any rate, I’m not giving the orb to anyone, least of all you! Now scram!”
“We can’t do that!! Please, sir!!” Wataru begged, bending himself in a clean, ninety-degree bow!
“Please, sir!” Aria joined in the begging, generating the exact opposite effect than the one she had hoped for!!
“You were just talking all kinds of crap about our village before I came out here!”
“No, I wasn’t! I love places like this! It’s surrounded by nature!”
“Liar!!”
“I’m not lying! I can totally eat bugs and stuff!”
“We don’t eat bugs! What do you think life in the countryside is like!?”
Wataru saw that this was going nowhere! He did a backflip on the spot, and landed beautifully on all fours in the form of a dogeza, the ancient Japanese art of groveling on one’s hands and knees! Wataru’s dogeza was immaculate, a 10-out-of-10! If showing submission ever became an official Olympic sport, Wataru’s dogeza would undoubtedly snag the gold medal!!
“Please, Mister Village Elder, sir! Please!!”
Faced with the all-too-spectacular dogeza, the village elder finally relented! “F-Fine...” He muttered. “I know! If it means that much to you, we shall do battle with our village’s traditional contest! If you beat me, the orb is yours!”
“Contest...!?” Wataru looked up from his groveling with a curious expression!
“Indeed! And that contest is... A hot dog-eating contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
✦ ✦ ✦
The trio were shown to the elder’s manor, the biggest house in the entire village! The party waited for a few minutes in a spacious, wooden area before the village elder reappeared! “Thanks for waiting! Everything’s ready!” He clapped his hands, summoning a few household servants! They set up a rectangular table before the party, and placed two gigantic platters on it!
“Wh-What is this...!” Résistance was shaken! And who could have blamed her!? Each platter was stacked high with a mountain of piping-hot hot dogs!!
“I see...” Aria remarked! “Whoever eats the most hot dogs, wins? Is that it?”
“That’s right!” the village elder confirmed! “The time limit is five minutes! That’s all you get!”
“I got it! I’ll be the one eating for our party... But who will be your hot dog eating champion!?” Wataru asked!
“Me, of course! Who else!?”
Much to everyone else’s surprise, the village elder himself would face off against Wataru in the hot dog-eating contest! The man was easily over the age of seventy-five! Could he really participate in the rigorous sport of competitive eating!?
“All right, Wataru! We got this match in the bag!” Aria declared, already assured of their victory!
The village elder, however, wore a dauntless grin! “Hmph! You don’t want to underestimate me! I’ve devoted my entire life to competitive eating! How could I lose to a boy like you!?”
Wataru stared back at him! “Devoted your whole life to competitive eating...!? That can’t be good for you!”
Indeed! Not only can timed competitive eating damage the stomach and intestines, but it also raises one’s blood sugar! While those among our Dear Readers who live more hectic lives may be tempted to scarf their meals as fast as possible... It is absolutely imperative that you should chew your food well and take the time to properly eat your meals!!
Anyway, the time for the contest had arrived! Wataru and the village elder stood before their respective mountains of steaming hot dogs!
“Woah, that’s a lot of steam...!” Wataru couldn’t help but mutter in amazement at the awesome sight!
“Feeling a little weak in the knees, Wataru!?” The village elder taunted!
“Never! In fact, I’m pumped!! Competitive eating isn’t good for your health... but I won’t hold back once the competition starts!” This was all going towards his goal of collecting the orbs so he could ultimately vanquish the dragon! Wataru’s fists tightened in determination!
Suddenly, Résistance stepped up from the corner of the room and approached the village elder!
“Hm? What is it?” he asked! “The contest is about to begin. I wish you’d keep your distance.”
Résistance handed the village elder a pair of cork earplugs! “Put these in. Trust me.”
“Wh-Why should I!? Is this some sort of diabolical trap!?”
“Why would it be a trap? Just put them in.”
“A-All right...” he relented! Résistance had practically forced the earplugs into the elder’s ears through her persuasive tone! She returned, satisfied, to where she had been standing! “Whatever was that about...” the elder grumbled. “Now, Wataru, are you ready!?”
“Yeah!!” Wataru answered with an energetic nod!
Seeing the nod, the village elder took a long inhale before shouting, “Now, then... Let us begin!!!!!” At the same moment, the elder began to expertly dismantle the mountain of hot dogs before him, rapidly shoving them into his mouth one after another! (Check that out! My eating speed has only increased with age! That Wataru kid must be in complete shock and awe...!) He glanced to his side, a hot dog in his mouth, to find that Wataru had not even begun eating!!
“Thank you for this meal...!” Wataru said, and slapped his hands together in one powerful motion!
Clalalalalalapppppppp!!!
The slamming together of Wataru’s hands created a sonic boom that thundered through the room! The cork earplugs in the elder’s ears disintegrated in an instant!! (What!?!?!? How could this be!?!?!?) The village elder was completely dumbfounded!! Dust that had once been the cork earplugs poured out of his ears! (Th-That was a close one...! If that girl hadn’t given me those plugs, my eardrums would be busted for sure! And all that was just from one clap off his hands!? Ridiculous!) As his estimation of Wataru’s strength rose, the elder couldn’t help but smirk at his decision to challenge the boy to an eating contest instead of a physical challenge! (But... What a moron! Who gives a pre-meal prayer during an eating contest!? Victory is mine!) He continued inhaling the hot dogs at breakneck speed! His stomach was practically a black hole! The elder’s powerful gobbling technique was unbecoming of a man of his venerable age!
“That old man’s amazing...!”
“Yes, he’s much more than I expected!”
Both Aria and Résistance were totally engrossed with the village elder’s incredible hot dog-eating speed!