Chapter 39:
Peace Treaty Signed
A PUZZLING SITUATION ENSUED. WHY DOES SHE want my child? Why did she jump to such a conclusion? I wondered. Queen Catalina and Princess Valiele continued a difficult negotiation in front of my eyes.
“Faust von Polidoro must impregnate me,” the queen said once more. “That’s my condition. Don’t make me repeat myself.”
“Um, but Your Majesty, Faust—I mean, Sir Polidoro has a reciprocal contract with Anhalt,” Princess Valiele replied. “He’s a feudal lord of our kingdom, and while he may serve as my advisor, my kingdom has no right to force him to take such action.”
“Who said anything about force? Enough. I shall negotiate directly with Sir Polidoro.”
Princess Valiele was swiftly brushed away. You useless princess. Despite my internal insults, the queen was right. This was a condition to be discussed directly between the queen and me. Besides, I have to hear her side of the story because I’m genuinely baffled. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind.
“Sir Polidoro, do you not want to sleep with me?” Queen Catalina asked.
She stood up. Her long red hair flowed behind her, and her meaty body was pushing against the seams of her dress. The queen was beautiful without question. And look at those bazongers! I want to. I’ve got no complaints on my end. But things aren’t so easy.
“Queen Catalina, while I’ve come here to negotiate peace, I’m the hero of a kingdom that is theoretically your enemy,” I said. “Furthermore, I’m the one who killed Villendorf’s hero, Lord Reckenbell, who also served as your mother.”
I had to remain logical here; many unfavorable variables were stacked against our union.
“And what’s the issue?” the queen asked. “You defeated Reckenbell in a fair duel, did you not? Furthermore, you even expressed grief over her death. I have no reason to hate you. In fact, I do believe that Reckenbell, who’s gazing down at me from Valhalla, is overjoyed to see that I’ve found a man who I would like to impregnate me.”
She casually responded with a logical argument. No, I’m pretty sure that there are way too many issues here.
“Minister of War,” the queen said. “Is there any issue if I receive Sir Polidoro’s seed and give birth to a child?”
“None at all,” the minister replied. The old lady’s wrinkly face was all smiles. “I didn’t think I’d get to see you finally become so determined to give birth to the next queen, Your Majesty. My chest feels so full of joy and relief. Truth be told, I would’ve loved for Sir Polidoro to become our prince consort, but I do believe that I’m asking for a bit too much. I suppose I must concede on that point. Hee hee!”
“Hee hee” my ass, you old hag. Seriously? Are you guys sure that you’re okay with this? I know of Villendorf’s customs and all, but with certain interests involved, I assumed that the Nobles of the Robe would be against this.
“She can sleep with Sir Polidoro and have his child?”
“Frankly, I’m envious.”
The whispers around me made it apparent that not a single person opposed the idea. Aw, come on. Shouldn’t you guys be against this proposal? Wouldn’t you want the queen to become tied to a man of your nation, or offer your own men to the queen in hopes of strengthening your factions? Surely you all must have these desires. The queen, none the wiser about my thoughts, turned to the crowd.
“I shall ask all the nobles and knights here in the throne room with me,” she boomed. “Are any of you against me having a child with Faust von Polidoro?”
I was aware of Villendorf’s customs and values, but even they were surely against their queen sleeping with a man of another nation. I expected a few to voice their dissent to Queen Catalina’s straightforward question. This world didn’t operate on absolute monarchies; it hinged on a feudal system. High-ranking Villendorfian nobles were present in the throne room, and I assumed that a few of them would be against this idea, but my hopes were soon dashed.
“Queen Catalina, I hail from the house of a duke. May I request that you share Faust von Polidoro’s seed with us as well?”
“I would also like his seed for my eldest daughter.”
“As would I.”
Wow. I’m popular as hell. Stop it, guys. I knew that gender roles were flipped in this world, but it made no sense that my seed was so highly sought after. Was it because I was in Villendorf? I was seen as a stunning beauty in this kingdom, and they also tended to revere the strong. The child of an extraordinary superhuman was more prone to possess similarly extraordinary powers. I could understand the logic behind it, and I forced myself to come to terms with my current situation.
“Denied,” the queen said. “I’d like to make Faust von Polidoro mine, and mine alone. As the Minister of War said earlier, truthfully, I’d like him as my prince consort. But I understand that Sir Polidoro has his own fief and residents that he must protect. Hence, this is my attempt at a compromise.”
I was grateful for her kind concession, and my little guy, who calmly rested underneath my chastity belt, also had no complaints. But if the queen were to sleep with me, my future would be bleak.
“Your Majesty, if you will pardon my insolence and allow me to speak,” I said.
“You may,” Queen Catalina replied.
“If you lie with me, I fear that my chances of finding a wife in the future will be dismal at best.”
I was already unpopular in Anhalt as it was. Only Duke Astarte openly tried to woo me to become her paramour while Lady Zabine attempted to seduce me. If word got out that I’d spread my legs for the queen of an enemy nation, my dazzling dreams of a happy marriage would immediately twist into visions of despair. I knew that I’d never get a wife.
“Truth be told, I’m very unpopular in Anhalt,” I confessed. “If people found out that I became a lover to the queen of an opposing nation…”
“That only means that the kingdom of Anhalt is filled with fools,” Queen Catalina replied.
She scoffed and mocked my kingdom while she swiftly rejected my claims. Uh, I’m the envoy of that kingdom filled with fools, you know…
“How could the hero of a kingdom not be provided with a wife with a good head on her shoulders?” the queen asked. “In fact, the nobles and citizens dare to give the cold shoulder to a hero? Anhalt’s social mores truly boggle the mind.”
“I cannot deny that I have my own complaints on that front,” I replied.
Yeah, why won’t they give me a wife? Come on… I risked my damn life during the Campaign of Villendorf. Princess Valiele’s first battle hadn’t been a difficult one for me, but from an outside perspective, I was put on the spot to handle a terrible situation. And this time around, I’d been forced to accept the unreasonable task of negotiating peace with an enemy nation. Seriously, I’m a hard worker. Why didn’t the royal family give me a wife? Why did not a single Anhaltish noble invite me to a party? Indeed, I was provided with no opportunities to mingle with the noblewomen of Anhalt and search for a wife. Now that the queen mentions it, yeah, it pisses me off.
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Unfortunately, Faust had no means of knowing the truth. Never would he have imagined that it was all due to the overwhelming love that the Anhaltish royal family had for him. He remained in the dark, ignorant of the facts. He had zero clue that the real reason he wasn’t provided with a wife was that Crown Princess Anastasia and Duke Astarte wanted to make him their paramour. Behind the scenes, Duke Astarte intimidated the nobles to prevent them from inviting him to parties—it was all done behind his back. He sort of had it coming, but he had no way to know that.
Make no mistake, he couldn’t be blamed for this entire series of events, but he’d failed to notice the clear signs of affection that Queen Liesenlotte, Crown Princess Anastasia, and Duke Astarte exhibited toward him. His dense mindset was all because he was terrible at romance; he was utterly incompetent at noticing others’ feelings for him him, and his idiocy was apparent when he spoke with Queen Catalina as well. Faust tended to dig his own grave. But that was a story for another day.