“I shall be frank, Sir Polidoro,” she said. “Have these men done anything to you? They are servants to my estate.”
“They mocked my mother, ancestors, citizens, land, and, by extension, the entirety of the Polidoro fief,” I replied. “They claimed that I was an abandoned orphan, picked up from the streets of Villendorf because my mother couldn’t conceive me.”
The duke’s face twitched as she stepped out of the walkway and into the garden. She approached the man on the ground, soaked in his own urine.
“Are Sir Polidoro’s claims true?” she asked.
“N-no, we’re—” the man stammered.
“So, they are true.”
At once, her face transformed into the visage of a demon. “Demon God Astarte” was the moniker she’d been granted from minstrels because of her terrifying appearance.
“You blithering fool!” she roared.
She used the tip of her boot to kick the man’s nose. I was satisfied to hear a sickening crunch as his nose was broken, and I gazed at the duke’s profile. Despite her usual demonic exterior, she was a beautiful lady. And her rack—man, they were melons. Her long, red hair fluttered behind her, and she was stunning. I stared at her braids that covered her nape. A single glance at her didn’t make me hard, but I couldn’t stop the indecent thoughts that flooded into my mind. She had already punished her servant, and the strength had left my body.
“Please forgive me, Sir Polidoro,” she said. “I ask that this punishment be a worthy token of apology to quell your anger.”
“But of course, Your Grace. Are we not comrades in arms who fought alongside each other against those barbarians of Villendorf? Not to ignore our difference in ranks, of course.”
“Ranks? You need not worry about any of that. We’re comrades.”
I was on good terms with the duke. Just a year ago, she’d mobilized her force of five hundred, and I joined her mission with my group of twenty residents. Combined with Princess Anastasia’s corps, thirty strong, we went to fend off Villendorf’s invasion with a small army of 550 people. It was all we could muster during that time of crisis, and we still managed to achieve victory. The duke had personally stood with me on the front line as well in order to encourage her soldiers who were fighting at a disadvantage. It came as no surprise that I got along with her. While we were advisors to different princesses, a possible cause for a bit of strife, Princess Anastasia’s faction was overwhelmingly powerful, so I posed no threat. The problem with her lay elsewhere.
“As usual, you’ve got a nice ass, Sir Polidoro,” Duke Astarte said.
Her comments about me could be called sexual harassment. Anyone could be called short when compared to me, but she was tall for a lady, all five foot seven of her beside me as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. In this world, these simple actions were undoubtedly classified as sexual harassment and definitely not befitting a noblewoman.
“Oh, you jest,” I said. “I’m acutely aware that rugged, muscular men like me aren’t favored.”
“It’s not an issue with me!” the duke said proudly. “I’m more of a butt person!”
She was a free spirit. Of course, her high rank likely allowed her to get away with most troublesome behavior.
“Oh, Sir Polidoro, when will you offer your body to me?” Duke Astarte asked. “We’ve already mixed our blood and sweat many a time in war.”
Yeah, I wanna fondle your tits too. What I’d give to rub my dick between your knockers.
“Duke Astarte, as I’ve told you before, I shall offer my chastity only to my future wife,” I said aloud.
I didn’t want to just settle for having sex with one lady throughout my entire life. My dream was to build a harem by gathering all the beauties I could find in my fief from ages sixteen to thirty-two. However, this nation saw virginity as sacred. Should rumors spread that I was promiscuous, my reputation and my land’s dignity would plummet. I likely wouldn’t be able to find an excellent wife, either. And so, I had to remain chaste. In my heart, I wept tears of blood as I gazed into the duke’s eyes.
“Then become my husband,” she said.
“You’re quite the jokester today,” I replied. “Our titles and ranks differ far too much. I shall never be suitable for you, Your Grace. What’s more, I must ensure that my land is in good hands.”
“Can’t you become my paramour? I can give birth to many of your children, and I shall see to it that one of your kin takes over your land.”
This was a tempting offer, but I would be her paramour. Which isn’t really an issue, I guess…
“And I’m still a virgin,” she added. “I’m only eighteen. When I turn twenty, I must find myself a suitor to sire children, but I’d like that to be a man that I favor.”
“That’s not really any of my business,” I replied.
I didn’t care if she was a virgin or not, so long as she let me sleep with her. The only issue I had was the worry about STDs. Crap. Continuing this raunchy discussion with a breathtaking beauty like her would give me an erection. My dick would hurt again. In fact, I’m already a little hard. If only there were brothels in this world. As it was, I could only hire male prostitutes. This world had nothing to offer me. Why am I being bullied so mercilessly? I just don’t get it. What have I done to deserve this cruel fate?
The duke peered into my eyes as she spoke. “I don’t like beating around the bush, so I’ll just tell you straight. Let me have sex with you. I’ll pay whatever fee you want.”
I fell silent. I wouldn’t mind paying her to hop in bed with me. I wanted to jiggle her boobs to my heart’s content. But I can’t. Our ranks are too different. Of course I wanna have sex. Why’s my poor dick living such an unfulfilled life? I was a virgin on Earth, and I’m a virgin in this world too. This is just sad. I cursed God.
Every Sunday, I attended church and sang the background vocals for the church choir while I denounced God with every breath I took. I wanted to round third base and make it home, sexually speaking. Should I just accept Duke Astarte’s proposal? Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be, because as soon as they turned to that solution, my thoughts were cut short.
“Astarte! What are you doing?!” Princess Anastasia demanded.
I frantically tried to calm my boner as I wondered when I’d be able to make it back and relieve myself of this agony. All the while, I bowed toward the royal and displayed my respect, but a large sigh escaped from my lips.