The company touted itself as my personal merchant, and Ingrid was in high spirits as she told me that she’d managed to promote herself quite a bit. Her company had been in charge of delivering the roses—albeit stolen from Anhalt’s palace—that melted the heart of the Coldhearted Queen; Ingrid fulfilled her role very well. As long as the peace treaty was in effect, Ingrid could proudly do business in Villendorf. She deserved this reward for her actions.
“For further communication, I shall rely on Ingrid Company,” Queen Catalina declared. “She is trustworthy, I hope?”
“Without a doubt,” I replied. “Our house has been in her care since the previous lord.”
“You might’ve heard from Yue already, but Toqto’a Khan is excellent at gathering information. I suspect that she’s far better than I am.” The queen stroked her chin. “You can assume that she’s already learned about us from the merchants that traverse the Silk Road. The merchants from Parsa are especially suspicious.”
“I expect as much.”
The Persians and Arabs, and those of the Islamic religion, especially merchants, played a role in helping the Mongol Empire prosper. The Catholics even offered a helping hand too. Ultimately, humans didn’t care where they belonged to, so long as they received preferential treatment.
“However, we can’t stop the flow of information,” Queen Catalina said. “And if so, I must steal as much intel as I can as well.”
“Your Majesty?” I asked.
I gazed at her dubiously. I was grateful for her assistance, but I wasn’t sure of her plan.
“Merchants of the Silk Road don’t come here, but people from distant places do end up in my kingdom,” the queen said. “A fair number of people like Yue do come to my nation, and many of them have sworn to get their revenge on Toqto’a Khan.”
“Some might be moles,” I replied. “Please do be careful about who you trust.”
Queen Catalina can probably see through a mole easily, though. And her Minister of War, that old lady beside her, has a keen eye too.
“Do you think that I’ll let a mole slip past me?” Queen Catalina asked. “If anything, cast doubt upon the eyes of Anhalt.”
“Our Queen Liesenlotte and Crown Princess Anastasia are wise rulers.”
“I’m not doubting them. I’m doubting the subjects who belittle heroes like you. There’s a chance that one of them might be a mole. A fool will always be a fool; that’s why they can be nothing more than a fool.”
What an impressive maxim. But I couldn’t imagine a talentless mole receiving any sort of preferential treatment from Toqto’a Khan after the war. A fool will always be a fool; that was why they could be nothing more than a fool.
“Keep your wits about you, Faust von Polidoro,” Queen Catalina warned.
“I shall, Your Majesty,” I replied.
I’ll just cut down all the fools. I’d planned on giving her advice, but I’d received some instead. I now had to worry about the possibility of moles lurking in Anhalt.
“Now then, let us perform the final ritual,” the queen said.
“Ritual?” I asked.
“I’m referring to the peace treaty that we signed. You’ll pay me in two years’ time, but I’d like some payment in advance.”
Queen Catalina’s cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink, and she waved her hand toward me like a cat beckoning me to approach her. I looked at her skeptically.
“Pardon me,” I said.
I stood up to approach her. What does she mean by payment in advance?
“Kiss me, Faust von Polidoro,” Queen Catalina said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I’d like to.”
She spoke honestly and frankly; she had the air of a cat making a beeline for a favorite treat. Honestly, she has some feline tendencies, but she’s a voluptuous beauty with melons on her chest.
“I’ve never even experienced my first kiss yet,” I protested.
“I haven’t either,” Queen Catalina replied. “It’ll be a first for both of us. It’s quite fitting, isn’t it?”
I’m in a bit of a conundrum. I don’t even remember kissing anyone in my previous life either. I’m a total loser dweeb when it comes to romance.
“I’m not quite sure how to kiss someone,” I said. “My teeth may knock against yours.”
“Then draw your teeth back, you dolt,” Queen Catalina replied. “Have you never exchanged a kiss with your family? When I was a child, Reckenbell kissed my cheek every day.”
“I do remember my mother kissing me on the cheek a few times, but that’s all.”
I approached her, and no one stopped me. I walked past Princess Valiele and an extremely displeased Lady Zabine, who stood beside the princess. After several steps, I stopped in front of the throne where Queen Catalina sat. Her Majesty then stood up and approached me in turn.
“This is a contract, Faust von Polidoro,” she said. “In two years, you must put a child in my womb.”
“I’ll do my best,” I replied.
I’m not against it at all. Not one bit. I’m a boob worshipper through and through. Since the queen’s got mega huge titties, she’s on the side of justice in my eyes. I wasn’t against sleeping with her, but my main issue was my ineptitude in romance. I was a complete loser in that field, after all. I feared that she might knock me out in a single kiss—I might genuinely fall in love with her. Queen Catalina and I weren’t supposed to have any romantic feelings toward each other—we shared the same traumatic experiences and empathized with one another. We were supposed to vent our woes and comfort each other; romance couldn’t be involved.
“I’ve already waited a minute,” Queen Catalina said.
“My heart still isn’t ready,” I replied.
“I can’t wait any longer. Crouch down, since you’re so tall.”
I did exactly that, lowering my towering body closer to the ground when Queen Catalina gave me a kiss right on the mouth. It was my first kiss. Neither of us knew how to kiss properly, but as our tongues interlocked like a pair of tentacles, I finally learned what a kiss was. For the first time in my life, the realization hit me, and our tongues continued to intertwine. The warm breath from her nose brushed against my face, and I locked eyes with Queen Catalina.
Her eyes are so beautiful. The words came deep down from a genuine place in my heart. Neither of us exchanged a word. Did minutes pass? Queen Catalina finally pulled away from me.
“I feel dizzy,” she said.
So do I. Her face was dyed a vibrant scarlet, and I knew that I must’ve looked the same. After some thought, I realized that I was in a room filled with bureaucrats and lords—I’d done it on the spur of the moment, but I wasn’t sure if kissing in front of a crowd was proper.
But more importantly, I realized that I truly was a total pushover when it came to romance. I felt something toward Queen Catalina. A single kiss from her made me feel a tinge of love for her. Never once had I considered breaking my contract, but now that we’d shared this kiss, I couldn’t turn my back on Catalina. I was bonded to her.
“And so, he has paid his dues in advance!” the Minister of War declared. “The Anhalt-Villendorf peace treaty has officially been formed!”
The elderly lady’s voice boomed loudly in the room; I could hardly believe that a fossil like her was capable of expressing joy with such impressive volume. The mood in the room and the feelings that lingered after the kiss were shattered by her voice. I rubbed my lips. I felt Queen Catalina’s saliva still in my mouth, but I didn’t mind. A kiss…is truly so peculiar.